The concept of a deficiency is humiliating, defeating, and humbling. It is humbling to know that whatever I was doing, wasn't working. It is emasculating because it feels like I am exposed for not living the perfect monkish lifestyle I pretend to live, but instead am missing a vital element. I realize there is probably a placebo effect of finding the latest "secret" but if it works, it works.
It's funny, I feel fat, out of shape, and my leg still generally hurts a fair number of days, but I cried tonight because I have so much more physical capability in my poor state than millions if not billions of people. 29 years and the worst injuries I have to complain about are a fibula stress fracture and plantar fasciitis? HA!
The nice thing about a physical deficiency, like my alleged magnesium deficiency, is that it is visible and easily treatable. We all have problems. I'm crazy. I don't love others as I love myself. Yet you can't see those deficiencies. The nice thing about this incident is that it reminds me how we are all deficient in some way. Once again this is an opportunity to put our trust in God, that our weaknesses and deficiencies may help us see our own frailty, our own mortality. Weakness is beauty in a way, it is human, it relates to our own struggles, it may be an opportunity to help another. If there was a human who had no deficiencies that person would have no daily use for the rest of us, and frankly I simply can't comprehend that.