Objectively I am actually probably doing quite well. I organized a meeting last month that I didn't even attend because I was the only one who knew everyone that needed to be there. Strange to me that the others did not know each other. Yet Thursday night I missed three solid opportunities to spend time with friends and develop relationships. Why did I pass up every one of those opportunities? To run 14 miles?
I have thousands of unread emails and I pass up so many opportunities to socialize. What is the point? I mean, life gets lonely, yet I don't want to spend it all following others dreams. For some reason I write this ridiculous blog every weekday. What do I get out of it? I like sharing what I know, but I've shared so much. It feels sometimes like I am screaming in the wilderness and the world has forgotten me.
What is the resolution, the grand epilogue, the happy ending? The great socializing period in my life is next? Hardly. No, there is no happy ending today. The story continues as the misguided character plunges deeper into the darkness.