For a long time I have been struggling to communicate my thoughts on the idea that there is no such thing as "smart". The reason that I do not like the idea of "smart" is that it implies a dumb. As soon as you call someone dumb, they have lost. How does one come back from that?
I was walking down 3rd street here in Dubuque on my way to Monks (it's a coffeehouse and bar) and I finally realized after months of months of thinking how to redefine smart and dumb. People have different reasoning capabilities. In other words, instead of the smart to dumb scale being one dimensional there is a reasoning capabilities universe that is at least three dimensional but includes different things. For example, math and science are in one area, but emotional understanding is in a different area, and humility is in another area, and the capability to throw a 90mph curve ball yet another area. There must be hundreds or thousands of areas. Everybody is capable of having a number of these reasoning capabilities, and chances are they are in different proportions to everyone else. These reasoning capabilities makes up our personality and our abilities.
In the space I am imagining one can be the farthest possible distance from the center point of math and science that we think of as "smart" yet in this model there is no dumb. While one may have a lack of reasoning ability in a certain area that does not mean that that person has no reasoning ability in that area.
This is great stuff! I apologize if this is all just fluff to many of you but people have been calling me "smart" for most of my life and while I like they are recognizing my math and science and multiple input, multiple output understanding of primarily numeric systems, I have often felt that people do not appreciate other reasoning capabilities. In other words, I love getting cheered for my achievements, but I love to cheer others and celebrate other people's achievements, even if they are not in the same realm of reasoning as my own life's reasoning tasks. By the same token I do not particularly like the way that some reasoning capabilities are rewarded so highly. I feel that instead of recognizing single abilities, perhaps it would be more appropriate to reward combinations of abilities. For example, at my alma mater, WPI, there is a President's award for the IQP project. In short, it is typically an environmental or social engineering "competition" that everyone must take part in and ultimate success in the award depends on more than the technical project and includes presentation skills and communication. Similarly no start up company had funding because of a good idea alone, it takes skills to sell the idea and to organize it.
I was watching a CNBC special on Google a few months ago and one of the things that one early Google employee said was to the effect of, 'find the smartest people you can and work with or for them.' She was meaning Sergey and Larry. I read their paper this week and it got me thinking about the "smart" thing again. If you have not read the paper that Google was founded on, it's relatively simple, rather elegant, and a great insight into one of the largest technology companies in the world.
There is no smart, there is no dumb. Or at least if there is a smart there is no dumb but rather varying levels of smart and that is simply one reasoning capability amongst hundreds of reasoning capabilities.
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Competition Yet Uncompetitive
To get many of the things I desire I have to be competitive. Unfortunately, I am a rather uncompetitive person, unless I am in some sort of fight or flight situation. I am enamored with teamwork. I have so many faults and deficiencies that I can hardly get to work in the morning dressed, fed and on time.
I recently started chasing a new goal. From step one the waters are more competitive than the safe aspects of my life. Why do I do this? Why do time and again I put myself in unfamiliar cutthroat positions? Do I put myself in these situations intentionally? Do I search out competitive situations? I don't know.
I feel I live in a dichotomy. In a race I will throw an elbow and make you pass me on the curve, at least I used to. If we are engineering I will spill patentable ideas and multimillion dollar saving plans like they are water. (Although you will have to wade through the unmanfacturable, cost prohibitive plethora of ideas that I have along the way.) If you are ever tied into a rope with me above treeline you will see greater fear and greater confidence in my eyes than you will on level ground. Mountain climbing is a great competition. Complete teamwork and complete competition at the same time. Competition against ourselves and against the mountain yet teamwork with all of the other people there.
I don't know. Do you ever reflect on your life and think, 'is this really where I am?' I would never have believed a few years ago that nearing my 26th birthday I would live in Dubuque, Iowa, and like it.
At every step of life there is teamwork and competition, which are fundamentally at odds with each other. A marriage involves intense teamwork with each other and competition against the outside forces causing trouble. The military must work together to get anything accomplished yet so often there is an opposition competing for the same people and same land.
I don't know. It just strikes me as odd that uncompetitive teamwork and competition often exist so close together. What decides that we choose to align ourselves with A and challenge B instead of align with B and challenge A?
I recently started chasing a new goal. From step one the waters are more competitive than the safe aspects of my life. Why do I do this? Why do time and again I put myself in unfamiliar cutthroat positions? Do I put myself in these situations intentionally? Do I search out competitive situations? I don't know.
I feel I live in a dichotomy. In a race I will throw an elbow and make you pass me on the curve, at least I used to. If we are engineering I will spill patentable ideas and multimillion dollar saving plans like they are water. (Although you will have to wade through the unmanfacturable, cost prohibitive plethora of ideas that I have along the way.) If you are ever tied into a rope with me above treeline you will see greater fear and greater confidence in my eyes than you will on level ground. Mountain climbing is a great competition. Complete teamwork and complete competition at the same time. Competition against ourselves and against the mountain yet teamwork with all of the other people there.
I don't know. Do you ever reflect on your life and think, 'is this really where I am?' I would never have believed a few years ago that nearing my 26th birthday I would live in Dubuque, Iowa, and like it.
At every step of life there is teamwork and competition, which are fundamentally at odds with each other. A marriage involves intense teamwork with each other and competition against the outside forces causing trouble. The military must work together to get anything accomplished yet so often there is an opposition competing for the same people and same land.
I don't know. It just strikes me as odd that uncompetitive teamwork and competition often exist so close together. What decides that we choose to align ourselves with A and challenge B instead of align with B and challenge A?
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Learning to Restart Myself
I don't have very many bad days, but sometimes I feel as though everything is a struggle.
Today was one of those days. I spent hours at work trying to solve a model more complicated than necessary. I sat through a meeting where a designer didn't know the critical testing requirements for the assembly he was designing. Finally I ran only 400 meters of a 7000 meter workout.
It's not a bad day, but it all adds up. It started so well with a 25 minute run and an omelette and a mocha...
The solution to the negativity was to take a walk listening to modern jazz and write a blog post. It is nice to have a forum for emotional expression even though it is one way and totally open. I am so fortunate and so blessed.
...I'm trying to come up with some deep conclusion or positive ending thought, but my mind is filled with rigid elements, contact interactions, anaerobic and aerobic metabolism development desires, a half broken car, no summer plans, no upcoming races, and no general change in sight. I love development and even a moment of stagnation leaves me feeling incredibly lazy and unproductive.
Today was one of those days. I spent hours at work trying to solve a model more complicated than necessary. I sat through a meeting where a designer didn't know the critical testing requirements for the assembly he was designing. Finally I ran only 400 meters of a 7000 meter workout.
It's not a bad day, but it all adds up. It started so well with a 25 minute run and an omelette and a mocha...
The solution to the negativity was to take a walk listening to modern jazz and write a blog post. It is nice to have a forum for emotional expression even though it is one way and totally open. I am so fortunate and so blessed.
...I'm trying to come up with some deep conclusion or positive ending thought, but my mind is filled with rigid elements, contact interactions, anaerobic and aerobic metabolism development desires, a half broken car, no summer plans, no upcoming races, and no general change in sight. I love development and even a moment of stagnation leaves me feeling incredibly lazy and unproductive.
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
I Feel Guilty of Being Lazy, All the Time
I am terrible at saying no. I like to please people. I continually feel like I am not living up to the expectations set for me. I feel like I am always letting people down. However, feelings are not fact. I typically leave my house around 6:30 AM and get back around 6:30 PM. Yet as I lay here on my couch at half past eight, barely awake and with aching legs from a 12 mile run I feel like a failure for not doing some more work after supper. Where does this ridiculousness come from? Did my family raise me to be this way? Did a never ending thesis teach me never to relax? I don't know.
I do know that these feelings propel me onward. When I am feeling lazy I remember times when I was productive and felt great. That's what keeps me energized to stay active in all aspects of life. Success is like a drug. When you have a little bit of it you start to wonder what a little more would feel like.
I do know that these feelings propel me onward. When I am feeling lazy I remember times when I was productive and felt great. That's what keeps me energized to stay active in all aspects of life. Success is like a drug. When you have a little bit of it you start to wonder what a little more would feel like.
Sunday, January 29, 2012
What You Seek, You Will Not Find
What you desire, you will not enjoy.
What is your motivation, will seem pointless.
What you need, you will have.
What you lack, you will learn.
The destination is the journey and the journey the destination.
What is your motivation, will seem pointless.
What you need, you will have.
What you lack, you will learn.
The destination is the journey and the journey the destination.
Friday, January 27, 2012
A Week Without Coffee
I drink 1-2 cups of coffee per day. Often that comes in the form of mochas and lattes or chocolate covered espresso beans. Well, over the last few months instead of having coffee 3-5 times a week I was drinking it nearly every day. Fearing the stories of caffine addiction I decided I needed to take a week off.
Starting last Friday I quit coffee. I made it all week. The worst day was Monday because I hit my head skiing by falling off a table in the terrain park Sunday and I had a headache from that. I am sure that the caffine withdraw also contributed to the headache as well. It was a relatively minor headache and far less disconcerting than the altitude headache I had at 20,300 feet on Broad Peak.
The illusion of control is a funny thing. We like to think we control something, but it is an illusion. Thus my attempt to "control" my coffee habit. Regardless of the fact that I am back on the cup now, the experiment was a success. I proved to myself that I could quit and continued my illusion that I control my coffee intake.
Starting last Friday I quit coffee. I made it all week. The worst day was Monday because I hit my head skiing by falling off a table in the terrain park Sunday and I had a headache from that. I am sure that the caffine withdraw also contributed to the headache as well. It was a relatively minor headache and far less disconcerting than the altitude headache I had at 20,300 feet on Broad Peak.
The illusion of control is a funny thing. We like to think we control something, but it is an illusion. Thus my attempt to "control" my coffee habit. Regardless of the fact that I am back on the cup now, the experiment was a success. I proved to myself that I could quit and continued my illusion that I control my coffee intake.
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Does Loyalty Matter Anymore?
Part of "The American Dream" is that by working harder you can get ahead, whatever that means. However, it is a well known fact that switching companies typically leads to a promotion and a raise. I have also been part of many organization that often focus on recruitment, and not retention. While this article is not the recruitment versus retention discussion, it has some of those themes.
This came up a few months ago among some of my friends. The subject came up that people sometimes leave something hanging to go somewhere else to get a bigger paycheck yet those who stayed do not get bigger paychecks at the end of the project. We felt as if loyalty was not rewarded. In hindsight I think that perhaps we were not thinking as long term as we should have. Often times the top management at companies consists of people that have been very loyal to the company for a long time. Additionally people do receive bonuses and raises based on their performance.
Another similar example is coaching a team of "individuals". I do not do much with recruitment because I feel that my time is better spent doing other things. Besides, my coaching salary comes out to about half of minimum wage already. However, I do feel a huge need to be involved in retention of current athletes. I can not coach someone who doesn't show up. Furthermore, I am currently dealing with such a small group of people that losing just one to injury or motivation is a double digit percentage loss. So I regularly ask how everyone is feeling and say thank you to them for showing up and cheer them on not only in running but also in other life events. Part of my job as coach is an attention giver. To some extent all the kids that show up want some sort of attention. Not every day, but at some point they want reinforcement of their perceived success.
In other words, if you can buy gas for $2.99 a gallon at the corporation that funnels money through warlords or buy it for $3.14 next door at the "free-trade" corporation that you have been using for the last three years because the two gas prices used to be the same price, would you still buy the expensive gas?
Loyalty is a finicky thing. Car companies have it, heavy equipment companies have it, Apple has it, Coke and Pepsi have it, cigarettes have it and so do a number of smaller companies, like my family's greenhouse. One of the interesting questions that has come up as a contract employee is, 'does the company that I am at have any loyalty toward me?' They are not providing health or retirement benefits and my timesheet and pay are on a weekly basis. It is quite obvious that if there would be a downturn severe enough, the contract employees would be "let-go" before the actual employees. The contract labor system is becoming more and more common at all levels of pay at a company. It is especially difficult for unskilled and low-skilled workers, the demographic that I feel would benefit the most from enhanced corporate loyalty.
I am learning so much as I grow up and experience life. It is not necessarily that my perceptions of the world are turned upside down, it is simply that a secret door seems to open in one room after another and provide me with a whole new set of ideas and experiences. I wasn't really looking for these doors, but since I now know they are there, I want to see what exists on the other side.
Leave a comment. Does loyalty still matter?
This came up a few months ago among some of my friends. The subject came up that people sometimes leave something hanging to go somewhere else to get a bigger paycheck yet those who stayed do not get bigger paychecks at the end of the project. We felt as if loyalty was not rewarded. In hindsight I think that perhaps we were not thinking as long term as we should have. Often times the top management at companies consists of people that have been very loyal to the company for a long time. Additionally people do receive bonuses and raises based on their performance.
Another similar example is coaching a team of "individuals". I do not do much with recruitment because I feel that my time is better spent doing other things. Besides, my coaching salary comes out to about half of minimum wage already. However, I do feel a huge need to be involved in retention of current athletes. I can not coach someone who doesn't show up. Furthermore, I am currently dealing with such a small group of people that losing just one to injury or motivation is a double digit percentage loss. So I regularly ask how everyone is feeling and say thank you to them for showing up and cheer them on not only in running but also in other life events. Part of my job as coach is an attention giver. To some extent all the kids that show up want some sort of attention. Not every day, but at some point they want reinforcement of their perceived success.
In other words, if you can buy gas for $2.99 a gallon at the corporation that funnels money through warlords or buy it for $3.14 next door at the "free-trade" corporation that you have been using for the last three years because the two gas prices used to be the same price, would you still buy the expensive gas?
Loyalty is a finicky thing. Car companies have it, heavy equipment companies have it, Apple has it, Coke and Pepsi have it, cigarettes have it and so do a number of smaller companies, like my family's greenhouse. One of the interesting questions that has come up as a contract employee is, 'does the company that I am at have any loyalty toward me?' They are not providing health or retirement benefits and my timesheet and pay are on a weekly basis. It is quite obvious that if there would be a downturn severe enough, the contract employees would be "let-go" before the actual employees. The contract labor system is becoming more and more common at all levels of pay at a company. It is especially difficult for unskilled and low-skilled workers, the demographic that I feel would benefit the most from enhanced corporate loyalty.
I am learning so much as I grow up and experience life. It is not necessarily that my perceptions of the world are turned upside down, it is simply that a secret door seems to open in one room after another and provide me with a whole new set of ideas and experiences. I wasn't really looking for these doors, but since I now know they are there, I want to see what exists on the other side.
Leave a comment. Does loyalty still matter?
Monday, January 23, 2012
It's Official.
One of the interesting things about "industry" is that if something isn't written down, it didn't happen. In other words, when I write a report, or even an email, what I wrote becomes official and could end up in court if someone sues.
The problem is, if doubt is expressed in writing about something that does not get changed, heads will roll. That is a good thing, however, to the best of my knowledge the repercussions to being oblivious to a problem are minor. In other words, if I approve a flawed design because my calculations were flawed no one in engineering will be punished for it. On the other hand if I reject a design that gets made anyway and it fails, people will get in trouble. Or at least the company will get in trouble and have to pay millions.
I have not been put in this spot, and I doubt that I will because I do my analysis well and the physical testing protocol that we have is very stringent. I also understand that the corporate laws are set so that there is limited liability to individuals working for the corporation. That is a good thing as well because simple mistakes that could destroy many strong careers are instead absorbed by the company instead of the individual.
However, I like accountability. I like the reward of success and the burden of failure. It might sound crazy to say that I like failure, but I do. If you never fail you aren't trying hard enough. Failure is recognition of our faults. Failure is the reminder that we are nowhere near perfect. Recognizing and accepting failure is also an important stage in growth. When we look back and think, 'I could have handled that better' the desire is that next time we will handle it better. Believe me, I am far more prepared for unemployment now than I was before when I failed at unemployment.
In other words, if I find a problem, I will say so. My relatives all say my grandpa was honest to a fault. He would tell people things they did not want to hear. I hope that I can be that definitive with the facts.
The problem is, if doubt is expressed in writing about something that does not get changed, heads will roll. That is a good thing, however, to the best of my knowledge the repercussions to being oblivious to a problem are minor. In other words, if I approve a flawed design because my calculations were flawed no one in engineering will be punished for it. On the other hand if I reject a design that gets made anyway and it fails, people will get in trouble. Or at least the company will get in trouble and have to pay millions.
I have not been put in this spot, and I doubt that I will because I do my analysis well and the physical testing protocol that we have is very stringent. I also understand that the corporate laws are set so that there is limited liability to individuals working for the corporation. That is a good thing as well because simple mistakes that could destroy many strong careers are instead absorbed by the company instead of the individual.
However, I like accountability. I like the reward of success and the burden of failure. It might sound crazy to say that I like failure, but I do. If you never fail you aren't trying hard enough. Failure is recognition of our faults. Failure is the reminder that we are nowhere near perfect. Recognizing and accepting failure is also an important stage in growth. When we look back and think, 'I could have handled that better' the desire is that next time we will handle it better. Believe me, I am far more prepared for unemployment now than I was before when I failed at unemployment.
In other words, if I find a problem, I will say so. My relatives all say my grandpa was honest to a fault. He would tell people things they did not want to hear. I hope that I can be that definitive with the facts.
Sunday, January 22, 2012
I Live in Iowa: Week 40
40 weeks!! That's fantastic! I like consistency and routine, and I'm getting there. Of course I also like new challenges and adventures...
This week at work was a good week. The Deere employees had Monday off but being as I don't work directly for them I did not get eight hours of holiday pay. So I went in and worked for about five hours. It was really nice, sleep ten hours, go for a morning run in the day light, work five hours, go for an afternoon run in the daylight. The rest of the week I resumed my normal 8-9 hour days. Once again I finished two projects this week. Actually three, but one only took me three hours. Then on Friday I was able to talk to my supervisor's supervisor who actually hired me and thank him for this opportunity. I am very blessed to have had 40 weeks doing what I do here. As my debt continues to decline, my bank account continues to climb, my social circle continues to expand, and my aerobic base continues to increase I feel so incredibly fortunate! There is so much wealth and prosperity that I enjoy! No one deserves this much success.
On a side track, I make a point of thanking servicemen that I work with or exercise with because I am so thankful for them working to make the world a better place. I enjoy so many privileges simply because of where I was born. This weekend I finally thanked a serviceman from Afghanistan that saw "action". Everyone else I have encountered was in Iraq, some saw no action because they were stationed at large bases. I realized that I take an interest in their stories because I want to empathize with them and share their pain. It is not appropriate that 1%, often the most disadvantaged 1%, have to bear the burden of safety for all of us in this country. While I never intend to put myself in that position of getting shot at or blown up, refusing to greatly appreciate that sacrifice would be just plain ignorant. While I am ignorant about many things, I feel this topic is too great to avoid.
Circle back toward the title, I finally moved to Iowa this week. My van now has Iowa license plates. It also has 280,700 miles on it and it doesn't like to steer in the cold very well. This worries me because if it breaks, I do not have a backup. Thus, I am officially in the market for a newer vehicle. Feel free to solicit me with you opinions. Keep in mind that I do take a long time to make decisions and hopefully I will not actually buy anything for two or three years.
Coaching is going well. On Saturday we had a track meet at UW Whitewater. In total from the time I arrived at our gym in the morning until we returned it was 16 hours. On the positive side our kids are improving and getting better, even though none of them are performing as well as they would like. But that is the whole point of development, break the perfect performance into trainable qualities and systematically train them in some order over a period of time so that when put together at the end of the season the result is the greatest. That is why we have classes in schools and in college. One lesson or class does not a student make. In other words my athletes, you are probably not going to PR very often until April, then you will run faster than you even desired.
My own running went well. I ran 56 miles, about as much as last week. I talked to the coach at UW Platteville, Tom Anczak because he enjoyed much success as a marathoner in the 70s and 80s and as a coach now. Two of his suggestions were to run my daily runs faster, and to work on my sprint speed. So I am. I did a 10 miler at 6:30 pace and a couple of runs at 6:05 pace this week and a few slower repeat miles around 5:40 pace. In other words, hardly a workout they are so easy, but far harder than my typically daily runs. Next Saturday, I'm getting on the track to run some races. I'm not sure which ones, but I will probably run an open 400 in addition to a distance race. My PR is a hand timed 58 high and I would like to go under 57. I have also volunteered my services to several coaches and athletes as a rabbit in case they desire to run a fast (implied a national qualifying) time.
Socially, RFA/Minnesota Engineering, my actual company had a friday night get together and dinner this weekend. It was a really good time. We all work together and see each other but we rarely talk socially or do anything outside of work and it was nice to get to know everyone a little better.
My life is surely good, I hope that you had a good week as well.
This week at work was a good week. The Deere employees had Monday off but being as I don't work directly for them I did not get eight hours of holiday pay. So I went in and worked for about five hours. It was really nice, sleep ten hours, go for a morning run in the day light, work five hours, go for an afternoon run in the daylight. The rest of the week I resumed my normal 8-9 hour days. Once again I finished two projects this week. Actually three, but one only took me three hours. Then on Friday I was able to talk to my supervisor's supervisor who actually hired me and thank him for this opportunity. I am very blessed to have had 40 weeks doing what I do here. As my debt continues to decline, my bank account continues to climb, my social circle continues to expand, and my aerobic base continues to increase I feel so incredibly fortunate! There is so much wealth and prosperity that I enjoy! No one deserves this much success.
On a side track, I make a point of thanking servicemen that I work with or exercise with because I am so thankful for them working to make the world a better place. I enjoy so many privileges simply because of where I was born. This weekend I finally thanked a serviceman from Afghanistan that saw "action". Everyone else I have encountered was in Iraq, some saw no action because they were stationed at large bases. I realized that I take an interest in their stories because I want to empathize with them and share their pain. It is not appropriate that 1%, often the most disadvantaged 1%, have to bear the burden of safety for all of us in this country. While I never intend to put myself in that position of getting shot at or blown up, refusing to greatly appreciate that sacrifice would be just plain ignorant. While I am ignorant about many things, I feel this topic is too great to avoid.
Circle back toward the title, I finally moved to Iowa this week. My van now has Iowa license plates. It also has 280,700 miles on it and it doesn't like to steer in the cold very well. This worries me because if it breaks, I do not have a backup. Thus, I am officially in the market for a newer vehicle. Feel free to solicit me with you opinions. Keep in mind that I do take a long time to make decisions and hopefully I will not actually buy anything for two or three years.
Coaching is going well. On Saturday we had a track meet at UW Whitewater. In total from the time I arrived at our gym in the morning until we returned it was 16 hours. On the positive side our kids are improving and getting better, even though none of them are performing as well as they would like. But that is the whole point of development, break the perfect performance into trainable qualities and systematically train them in some order over a period of time so that when put together at the end of the season the result is the greatest. That is why we have classes in schools and in college. One lesson or class does not a student make. In other words my athletes, you are probably not going to PR very often until April, then you will run faster than you even desired.
My own running went well. I ran 56 miles, about as much as last week. I talked to the coach at UW Platteville, Tom Anczak because he enjoyed much success as a marathoner in the 70s and 80s and as a coach now. Two of his suggestions were to run my daily runs faster, and to work on my sprint speed. So I am. I did a 10 miler at 6:30 pace and a couple of runs at 6:05 pace this week and a few slower repeat miles around 5:40 pace. In other words, hardly a workout they are so easy, but far harder than my typically daily runs. Next Saturday, I'm getting on the track to run some races. I'm not sure which ones, but I will probably run an open 400 in addition to a distance race. My PR is a hand timed 58 high and I would like to go under 57. I have also volunteered my services to several coaches and athletes as a rabbit in case they desire to run a fast (implied a national qualifying) time.
Socially, RFA/Minnesota Engineering, my actual company had a friday night get together and dinner this weekend. It was a really good time. We all work together and see each other but we rarely talk socially or do anything outside of work and it was nice to get to know everyone a little better.
My life is surely good, I hope that you had a good week as well.
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Meb Won Because Carlos Lopez Won
Back in the early 1980s a young American, Alberto Salazar, was running some very fast times and people predicted he would win the 1984 Olympic Marathon in Los Angeles at the age of 26. However, one of the best coaches at the time, and really the guy that wrote the book on long distance training, Arthur Lydiard was asked to make a prediction about who would win, and he picked Carlos Lopez, who was 36 at the time.
The reason being that all other things being equal, in a marathon the person with the biggest aerobic base has the ability to run away from everyone else at the end. So when Meb Keflezighi at age 36 ran away from Ryan Hall at age 29 to win by 22 seconds over the final miles it should not be a big surprise. He may not be the fastest, but in a championship style race the race is typically won in the final miles and again, other things being equal, the person with the largest aerobic base will win.
It is also interesting to mention that Meb set a personal record at New York City in November at 2:09:13 on a relatively tough course, and then set a PR about ten weeks later in Houston at 2:09:08. When I tell people that I have a long way to go in running, that is what I mean, setting personal records twice at age 36. Now I might move on to something else long before then, and perhaps have a family or something, but the fact is, it takes a long time to reach your potential in this sport. One season or one year is not enough.
I feel like it is a good metaphor for other careers and for life. When will I peak in my professional career, 50s? 60s? 70s? 80s? No way! Not my 80s! But I just asked the question, and like a seed the idea will grow. The question will arise, is it possible to be on top of your game in your 80s? What about socially, with a family? At what point will I be most effective as a family member? I don't know, but the point is, I have a lot to look forward to in the future.
The reason being that all other things being equal, in a marathon the person with the biggest aerobic base has the ability to run away from everyone else at the end. So when Meb Keflezighi at age 36 ran away from Ryan Hall at age 29 to win by 22 seconds over the final miles it should not be a big surprise. He may not be the fastest, but in a championship style race the race is typically won in the final miles and again, other things being equal, the person with the largest aerobic base will win.
It is also interesting to mention that Meb set a personal record at New York City in November at 2:09:13 on a relatively tough course, and then set a PR about ten weeks later in Houston at 2:09:08. When I tell people that I have a long way to go in running, that is what I mean, setting personal records twice at age 36. Now I might move on to something else long before then, and perhaps have a family or something, but the fact is, it takes a long time to reach your potential in this sport. One season or one year is not enough.
I feel like it is a good metaphor for other careers and for life. When will I peak in my professional career, 50s? 60s? 70s? 80s? No way! Not my 80s! But I just asked the question, and like a seed the idea will grow. The question will arise, is it possible to be on top of your game in your 80s? What about socially, with a family? At what point will I be most effective as a family member? I don't know, but the point is, I have a lot to look forward to in the future.
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
2011 My Year in Review
2011 was a great year for me in many respects. I could make a convincing argument that it was the best year in my life, but a statement that general ignores so many details that I can not admit it was the best year of my life, although, it was a very good one.
Economically this was my best year ever by far. I paid more in taxes this year than I made last year. I made around three times more than I made while being a graduate student in 2009. I wrote down this was the best year professionally for me, but that is not true. Getting a degree, getting a patent, learning about all of those processes are barriers to entry that make them more important in the long run than the first job in the chosen field, in my mind. I worked 1970 billable hours this year. My goal for next year, 2012, is 2100 hours. This is a critical point in my life, the small amount of money that I can save now will go a very long way toward providing me a large amount of money in the future. Since I am not a great saver, compared to my ideals, I will still spend lots of money on food, coffee, running stuff, and other luxuries, the solution is to work a little bit more. I will probably put in the extra hours during the summer when I can run early and work late and still have plenty of sun to shine on me while I run. Plus, I enjoy my job. I have learned so much this year I feel far more valuable now as a structural analyst.
Financially, I did very well. I paid off the first of my 11 loans because it had a high interest rate. the principal was just under 5000 in May when I paid it off. I made the minimum payments on nine of my other loans, and I started paying down the second of my loans and I expect to have it paid off probably in March. I started investing in the stock market. Here is a sample of the investing in oil (USO) that I did this year:
In total I sold four stocks this year for an adjusted cost basis of $3626.40 and a short term gain of $305.00. It's not impressive, but 8.4% in short term gains in a year the stock markets are flat is not bad either. Plus, I have to admit in the last 12 months I have learned so much about investing that several of the investment choices I made last year were not good and I won't make the same mistakes again.
My running had an amazing year! There were so many accomplishments that I am not going to go into detail. Here is a list with many of them:
Economically this was my best year ever by far. I paid more in taxes this year than I made last year. I made around three times more than I made while being a graduate student in 2009. I wrote down this was the best year professionally for me, but that is not true. Getting a degree, getting a patent, learning about all of those processes are barriers to entry that make them more important in the long run than the first job in the chosen field, in my mind. I worked 1970 billable hours this year. My goal for next year, 2012, is 2100 hours. This is a critical point in my life, the small amount of money that I can save now will go a very long way toward providing me a large amount of money in the future. Since I am not a great saver, compared to my ideals, I will still spend lots of money on food, coffee, running stuff, and other luxuries, the solution is to work a little bit more. I will probably put in the extra hours during the summer when I can run early and work late and still have plenty of sun to shine on me while I run. Plus, I enjoy my job. I have learned so much this year I feel far more valuable now as a structural analyst.
Financially, I did very well. I paid off the first of my 11 loans because it had a high interest rate. the principal was just under 5000 in May when I paid it off. I made the minimum payments on nine of my other loans, and I started paying down the second of my loans and I expect to have it paid off probably in March. I started investing in the stock market. Here is a sample of the investing in oil (USO) that I did this year:
| Lot: Acquired 06/29/11 07/19/11 | 32 | $1,225.25 | $1,208.35 | $16.90 | ||||
| Lot: Acquired 08/05/11 | 10/25/11 | 20 | $717.03 | $692.55 | $24.48 | |||
| Lot: Acquired 09/22/11 | 10/25/11 | 20 | $717.02 | $629.15 | $87.87 |
In total I sold four stocks this year for an adjusted cost basis of $3626.40 and a short term gain of $305.00. It's not impressive, but 8.4% in short term gains in a year the stock markets are flat is not bad either. Plus, I have to admit in the last 12 months I have learned so much about investing that several of the investment choices I made last year were not good and I won't make the same mistakes again.
My running had an amazing year! There were so many accomplishments that I am not going to go into detail. Here is a list with many of them:
- Ended a 174 day running streak
- Debuted a 2:34 marathon on a very windy day and 800ft long course
- Ran a new highest mileage week of 140 miles
- Had a legitimate (sub 7 minute pace) 30 mile training run
- Won a five mile, 5k, team triathlon, and individual duathlon, and was second in a half marathon and a four mile race
- Completed a special block workout (2x 2mi warmup, 14mi tempo)
- Managed to throw down 5:20s more than 15 miles into a long run
- Ran several of my best 20 minute tempos getting my paces down to 5:24ish
- Ran better than my previous half marathon PR of 1:17:06 at least eight times
- Ran 4x1600m in my best average (5:08) with a 1:45 400m jog rest
- Ran approximately 3640 miles for an average daily mileage that rounds to 10miles
- Acquired a sponsor
- Acquired a number of positive new friends and acquaintances through my running
Coaching I had a great year. I now get paid to do help younger men and women develop as athletes, students, and people. It is pretty awesome.
Socially, I made the rounds this year. I have quite a few friends now that I am really happy with. I have people to ride bicycles, friends at the pubs, friends to run, friends to help move, friends for summer yard parties, and nice people at work. Also, it was a really good year to visit people so I won't go into details but here is the list:
- February I visited my best friend from high school in St. Louis
- July I celebrated a 21st birthday in Kansas City with some high school friends
- October I went to a good friend's wedding in Omaha
- November I visited some of my menugas from grad school in Massachusetts
- December I visited some family friends in Sacramento
- December I went to Colorado and saw friends from college and summer camp
As far as the dating scene goes... errr... I can't say it has been better in the past, but I just haven't met or spent enough time with a person who is on the same wavelength as I.
As far as climbing and mountaineering it was terrible. I spent one day with a rope outdoors, one day in a gym, but a whole lot of time on a hangboard. It wasn't a total loss, but not much climbing.
As for other things, I have a really nice carbon fiber bicycle, a nice single speed cyclocross, I gardened and got a little bit of good food and I read a handful of books. It was a good year.
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
I Got Myself Into This.
Life seems to happen all at once. It's kind of doing that right now. And it is all my fault. I made the choices to do X, Y, Z, and all that other stuff and now I have to follow through.
Sunday, January 1, 2012
That Was Not the Plan...
I'm siting here in a condo in Dillion on the day that I plan to start heading back to Iowa, and this "vacation" has not gone as planned. I originally intended to do ice climbing and skiing, but as things happen that turned into some hiking, running and private brewery tours. That is just the way it goes.
After the Longs Peak failure, which I am totally content with because the wind was making it less safe, I took a rest day. Then the next couple days we either had a late start to the skiing day and didn't ski or it was too windy or the snow was bad. Although I may still ski Loveland pass. So... It was not what I intended to do. How does one evaluate the "success" of doing something other than intended?
On the upside I had two private brewery tours at the Breckenridge Brewery in Denver and in Breckenridge, even though I don't drink beer. It was interesting because this is one of the expanding breweries and one that is trying new things all the time. Plus, when I say private brewery tour I mean all the details even the ladders and catwalks. After dozens of sterilized tours it was refreshing to feel part of the club. It was almost as comfortable as I feel at John Deere in the factory. Plus, I met some more people and once again expanded my social circle. While I value my family and close friends more than simple acquaintances, I have benefited from my acquaintances greatly and you never know what events in life will lead an acquaintance to being a best friend. Perhaps the ever present role of relationships is once again the reason things happened the way they did. As with most things I am still too close to the events to interpret a deeper meaning.
After the Longs Peak failure, which I am totally content with because the wind was making it less safe, I took a rest day. Then the next couple days we either had a late start to the skiing day and didn't ski or it was too windy or the snow was bad. Although I may still ski Loveland pass. So... It was not what I intended to do. How does one evaluate the "success" of doing something other than intended?
On the upside I had two private brewery tours at the Breckenridge Brewery in Denver and in Breckenridge, even though I don't drink beer. It was interesting because this is one of the expanding breweries and one that is trying new things all the time. Plus, when I say private brewery tour I mean all the details even the ladders and catwalks. After dozens of sterilized tours it was refreshing to feel part of the club. It was almost as comfortable as I feel at John Deere in the factory. Plus, I met some more people and once again expanded my social circle. While I value my family and close friends more than simple acquaintances, I have benefited from my acquaintances greatly and you never know what events in life will lead an acquaintance to being a best friend. Perhaps the ever present role of relationships is once again the reason things happened the way they did. As with most things I am still too close to the events to interpret a deeper meaning.
Friday, December 23, 2011
The Intersection of Life and Business
Where does business and life intersect? What components of business are personal? How do you define something personal versus something that is public and and economic performance based? Why does business depend almost entirely on economic performance?
I ask these questions because I had to run an errand to the post office this past week during my typical work hours. Since I get paid by the hour, or at least because I am scared of screwing up my employment, It was probably the second time that I have left work in the middle of the day to do something. I felt like I was being a slacker or cheating the company. Time not spent working is time not spent getting paid. One of the things I have been frustrated with since being employed is running errands. Going to places like the DMV, insurance agency, doctor, dentist, post office, mechanic, and other business hours businesses is frustrating because between work and coaching I am busy 7AM to 6PM most days. Fortunately, the Hy-Vee grocery stores in town are open late, even 24 hours I believe. It is frustrating because the industries that I feel are service industries do not really seem to service at the hours that are convenient for me. I know that is being selfish but if they want my business hours that are convenient for me will get my business. The grocery stores and restaurants have figured it out, and they get lots of my money.
Changing subjects somewhat, business can be harsh. Life can be harsh as well, but business seems to value profitability in a monetary sense in a way that life does not value economic profitability. For example, life (in my world) is about relationships. For me to develop and grow a relationship sometimes I have to put in time and money that will not be reciprocated. However, the value of that relationship to me is worth the one way effort that I put in. In business, if you are not profitable, you lose. In life if you never get out what you put in you typically still have a huge value. Those emotionally draining relationships that we have still have value in a way that an unprofitable business does not.
A doctor that fixes a burst appendix and does not get paid would be an example of a draining relationship, but one that has significant value. Realistically the doctor could ask for 5% of that person's earning for the rest of his or her life and it would still be worth it to the patient because he or she did not die. That would be maximizing the economic profitability.
I also see in my older colleagues the intersection of family, specifically dependents, and work. That is a whole other can of worms. Fortunately, my life happens slow enough that I have time to adjust to life changes and come up with philosophical explanations for how I spend my time. Right now, spending time doing what I am doing seems the best use of my time, but I foresee that changing in the future. While I plan to run until I am 90, it will certainly not always be the same as I do now. I did not have more than one day of vacation at a time this year, but again I see that changing dramatically as I age. While I don't plan to retire in the formally accepted manner how will I juggle my time with my family and friends and business as I age? When the conscious decision not to retire in the traditional sense is made it changes the entire picture of life, work, and money. Instead of valuing the free time when I am in my 60s, 70s and 80s more than the free time I have now it liberates me from the burden of saving for a currently intangible delayed life plan and allows me to pursue life now. It also places a huge burden of possible unexpected long term unemployment upon me, so I end up saving a lot of money anyway.
I don't have many answers, but at least by asking the questions we can refine our priorities.
I ask these questions because I had to run an errand to the post office this past week during my typical work hours. Since I get paid by the hour, or at least because I am scared of screwing up my employment, It was probably the second time that I have left work in the middle of the day to do something. I felt like I was being a slacker or cheating the company. Time not spent working is time not spent getting paid. One of the things I have been frustrated with since being employed is running errands. Going to places like the DMV, insurance agency, doctor, dentist, post office, mechanic, and other business hours businesses is frustrating because between work and coaching I am busy 7AM to 6PM most days. Fortunately, the Hy-Vee grocery stores in town are open late, even 24 hours I believe. It is frustrating because the industries that I feel are service industries do not really seem to service at the hours that are convenient for me. I know that is being selfish but if they want my business hours that are convenient for me will get my business. The grocery stores and restaurants have figured it out, and they get lots of my money.
Changing subjects somewhat, business can be harsh. Life can be harsh as well, but business seems to value profitability in a monetary sense in a way that life does not value economic profitability. For example, life (in my world) is about relationships. For me to develop and grow a relationship sometimes I have to put in time and money that will not be reciprocated. However, the value of that relationship to me is worth the one way effort that I put in. In business, if you are not profitable, you lose. In life if you never get out what you put in you typically still have a huge value. Those emotionally draining relationships that we have still have value in a way that an unprofitable business does not.
A doctor that fixes a burst appendix and does not get paid would be an example of a draining relationship, but one that has significant value. Realistically the doctor could ask for 5% of that person's earning for the rest of his or her life and it would still be worth it to the patient because he or she did not die. That would be maximizing the economic profitability.
I also see in my older colleagues the intersection of family, specifically dependents, and work. That is a whole other can of worms. Fortunately, my life happens slow enough that I have time to adjust to life changes and come up with philosophical explanations for how I spend my time. Right now, spending time doing what I am doing seems the best use of my time, but I foresee that changing in the future. While I plan to run until I am 90, it will certainly not always be the same as I do now. I did not have more than one day of vacation at a time this year, but again I see that changing dramatically as I age. While I don't plan to retire in the formally accepted manner how will I juggle my time with my family and friends and business as I age? When the conscious decision not to retire in the traditional sense is made it changes the entire picture of life, work, and money. Instead of valuing the free time when I am in my 60s, 70s and 80s more than the free time I have now it liberates me from the burden of saving for a currently intangible delayed life plan and allows me to pursue life now. It also places a huge burden of possible unexpected long term unemployment upon me, so I end up saving a lot of money anyway.
I don't have many answers, but at least by asking the questions we can refine our priorities.
Monday, December 19, 2011
I'm Hungry.
I was listening to the impact of poverty on children on Talk of the Nation on NPR and had some thoughts. I was on free lunches while I lived in St Louis and reduced price lunches throughout elementary and into middle school. I suppose that means I lived in poverty. I never felt like I lived in poverty because I had plenty of toys and we always had food and the heat always worked at home and we had a home!
As 2011 draws to a close I am realizing that this year when I file taxes it will be the first year that I get paid more than minimum wage for the entire year. I suppose I have been poor my whole life. Even as I write that I cannot actually believe it. Wealth is about so much more than income.
For example, my family always had a place to live but my parents did not own a home from the time I was five until I was 20. We lived in apartments and houses lent to us by my dad's employer. I consider having a house, apartment, or place to live wealth. The same goes for vehicles. My parents have bought only one new car in my 25.5 years, but numerous cars over ten years old. Having one or more vehicles counts as wealth to me. Even though I currently drive an 18 year old van with 277,000 miles, I consider that a luxury item.
I am continually thinking about motivation. How does one get it? Where does it come from? What events lead to increased motivation? What things will decrease motivation? Why do I pound out ten or more hours of running per week? What am I trying to prove? Why do I care about getting the best answer to an engineering problem at work and not just an acceptable answer? Why do I model things with solid (3D) elements when others use only shell (2D) elements? Why did I go to college at WPI in Massachusetts? Why did I get a master's degree?
I finished Steve Job's biography by Walter Isaacson on Saturday. What was Steve's motivation? It seems making the best possible user experience, but that is not 100% clear. I will write a review of the book in the coming weeks.
Motivation is something that is cultivated and grown, but exists within. Can one person give another person the seed of motivation? That is one tough question. If the answer is yes then I give credit to my parents for the roots of my motivation. My family vacationed to Colorado when I was young and we camped, had fires and cooked, and my dad told stories of hiking mountains like Longs Peak. I think that those little trips were the seeds of my mountaineering motivation. It was developed along the way by four summers at Philmont, and numerous hikes and climbing in Rocky Mountain National Park and the 14ers around Leadville. Yet it started with a hike to Emerald Lake and a drive to the continental divide ranger station in RMNP. My other motivations have roots with my parents. When I was six or seven I out sprinted my dad in our back yard. He might have let me win but I decided that I should not be able beat him and I did not want others to beat me unless they were actually faster. However, had he beat me would I have gotten discouraged and chose not to pursue running? Probably... My parents are geniuses. I hope I can do half as well with my kids as they did with my sister and I.
I feel that my motivation wanes when I have more luxury in life. Nice things, which I really like, give me the feeling of being complacent. (I'm struggling to come up with an example. I've been sitting here for at least 10 minutes without writing a sentence.)
I quit acting when I went to college. I did five musicals, four plays, and a slew of speech and drama routines at competitions in high school. The highlight was my senior year when my duet with Dana May Salah was amazing. We cleaned up at just about every meet. We were getting first and second at almost every meet we went to. That was after three years of struggling to make it to finals at local speech and drama competitions. At state that year we expected to cruise through semifinals and compete for the win, but judges rated us terribly. Our second round was the best performance of the year. It was the best acting I ever did. When we calmly walked out of the room we were seriously jumping up and down because we just had the most amazing performance of the year! The judge gave us a ranking of five, with one being the best and ten the worst. Unbelievable. We didn't even make it to semifinals. I did do improvised duet acting also at that state meet and my partner and I got 8th at state with a really really tough draw in the semifinal round. The point being, my motivation for acting left after that state meet. People in my home town thought I was going to go into acting, and were surprised that I cared so much more about engineering. Some were even disappointed.
I had no success in competition acting for two and a half years then I had success at the end of my junior year and lots of success my senior year. I was loaded with motivation at the state meet my senior year. After the rejection I feel I felt acting was a search for acceptance and popularity. I felt that hard work did not necessarily pay off. Success or failure was determined by the whim of another person. In engineering and running and mountaineering and relationships the return on investment seems far more direct. If I train hard in running, I run faster races. If I study more material in engineering, I will have a better grasp of the phenomena. If I climb more I will be able to climb more. If I spend more time with a person we will have a stronger relationship (if we can work past the fact that I am a self centered egomaniac). In the words of my high school running coach, "You get what you get."
Another aspect of my attitude is that I compare myself to the best in the world. Watching the movie Inside Job one person commented that investment banking became a contest. 50 Billion dollar deals were not enough it had to be 100 billion. Unfortunately, I feel that way sometimes. So and so runs a 2:14 marathon, so I want to see if I can do it. So and so climbed Everest without oxygen, and I'm a way better runner than he is so I must be able to do it. So and so started a company that revolutionized the industry, and I'm a far better engineer than he is and more personable too. These thoughts filter down to the way that I live. Why don't I get rid of my van and buy a Mini Cooper like I have wanted for a decade? Because I would rather drive a Prosche 911 Turbo. Why don't I buy a nice bed and some more furniture and a huge TV? Because I would rather buy land and have a house. Why did I go to Pakistan and try an 8000 meter peak instead of trying Denali or Aconcagua first? Because it's bigger and bigger equals better right?
I am clearly delusional. I am obviously crazy. I have accepted those opinions as facts. I fear that these ideas in my head hamper my ability to have a committed romantic relationship. Or any relationship really. On the other hand my focus is very long term. I've been thinking about Mt. Everest for eight years, now it's just the funding. I do know that these expectations and desires set me up for disappointment. March 2010 was a really rough month. Fortunately, I am enough of a normal person to take joy in how far I have come. When I defended my masters thesis I was incredibly happy! After so much time and work, I had something to show. It was the most fulfilling formal educational experience I have had. There were so many times I thought about quitting. When I ran a 4:38 mile at Smith college my senior year of college I was ecstatic! While I planned and still do plan to be able to run under 4:20 in the mile some day, actually getting under 4:40 was amazing because part of me never thought it would happen. It is the same with my engineering. I solve problems and make products last longer, and in 2010, I was not sure I would ever have that chance. I'm a useful addition. I'm part of something. I am economically productive. It is very rewarding.
I still have a lot to do in life. I have a number of "delusions" to chase. However, if this afternoon I end up unable to walk, talk, see, and work for the next 50 years of my life I have enjoyed more success than any one person ever deserves. It is the dichotomy of performance. The new best performance is not enough, yet it is infinitely more than is deserved. I am so blessed!
As 2011 draws to a close I am realizing that this year when I file taxes it will be the first year that I get paid more than minimum wage for the entire year. I suppose I have been poor my whole life. Even as I write that I cannot actually believe it. Wealth is about so much more than income.
For example, my family always had a place to live but my parents did not own a home from the time I was five until I was 20. We lived in apartments and houses lent to us by my dad's employer. I consider having a house, apartment, or place to live wealth. The same goes for vehicles. My parents have bought only one new car in my 25.5 years, but numerous cars over ten years old. Having one or more vehicles counts as wealth to me. Even though I currently drive an 18 year old van with 277,000 miles, I consider that a luxury item.
I am continually thinking about motivation. How does one get it? Where does it come from? What events lead to increased motivation? What things will decrease motivation? Why do I pound out ten or more hours of running per week? What am I trying to prove? Why do I care about getting the best answer to an engineering problem at work and not just an acceptable answer? Why do I model things with solid (3D) elements when others use only shell (2D) elements? Why did I go to college at WPI in Massachusetts? Why did I get a master's degree?
I finished Steve Job's biography by Walter Isaacson on Saturday. What was Steve's motivation? It seems making the best possible user experience, but that is not 100% clear. I will write a review of the book in the coming weeks.
Motivation is something that is cultivated and grown, but exists within. Can one person give another person the seed of motivation? That is one tough question. If the answer is yes then I give credit to my parents for the roots of my motivation. My family vacationed to Colorado when I was young and we camped, had fires and cooked, and my dad told stories of hiking mountains like Longs Peak. I think that those little trips were the seeds of my mountaineering motivation. It was developed along the way by four summers at Philmont, and numerous hikes and climbing in Rocky Mountain National Park and the 14ers around Leadville. Yet it started with a hike to Emerald Lake and a drive to the continental divide ranger station in RMNP. My other motivations have roots with my parents. When I was six or seven I out sprinted my dad in our back yard. He might have let me win but I decided that I should not be able beat him and I did not want others to beat me unless they were actually faster. However, had he beat me would I have gotten discouraged and chose not to pursue running? Probably... My parents are geniuses. I hope I can do half as well with my kids as they did with my sister and I.
I feel that my motivation wanes when I have more luxury in life. Nice things, which I really like, give me the feeling of being complacent. (I'm struggling to come up with an example. I've been sitting here for at least 10 minutes without writing a sentence.)
I quit acting when I went to college. I did five musicals, four plays, and a slew of speech and drama routines at competitions in high school. The highlight was my senior year when my duet with Dana May Salah was amazing. We cleaned up at just about every meet. We were getting first and second at almost every meet we went to. That was after three years of struggling to make it to finals at local speech and drama competitions. At state that year we expected to cruise through semifinals and compete for the win, but judges rated us terribly. Our second round was the best performance of the year. It was the best acting I ever did. When we calmly walked out of the room we were seriously jumping up and down because we just had the most amazing performance of the year! The judge gave us a ranking of five, with one being the best and ten the worst. Unbelievable. We didn't even make it to semifinals. I did do improvised duet acting also at that state meet and my partner and I got 8th at state with a really really tough draw in the semifinal round. The point being, my motivation for acting left after that state meet. People in my home town thought I was going to go into acting, and were surprised that I cared so much more about engineering. Some were even disappointed.
I had no success in competition acting for two and a half years then I had success at the end of my junior year and lots of success my senior year. I was loaded with motivation at the state meet my senior year. After the rejection I feel I felt acting was a search for acceptance and popularity. I felt that hard work did not necessarily pay off. Success or failure was determined by the whim of another person. In engineering and running and mountaineering and relationships the return on investment seems far more direct. If I train hard in running, I run faster races. If I study more material in engineering, I will have a better grasp of the phenomena. If I climb more I will be able to climb more. If I spend more time with a person we will have a stronger relationship (if we can work past the fact that I am a self centered egomaniac). In the words of my high school running coach, "You get what you get."
Another aspect of my attitude is that I compare myself to the best in the world. Watching the movie Inside Job one person commented that investment banking became a contest. 50 Billion dollar deals were not enough it had to be 100 billion. Unfortunately, I feel that way sometimes. So and so runs a 2:14 marathon, so I want to see if I can do it. So and so climbed Everest without oxygen, and I'm a way better runner than he is so I must be able to do it. So and so started a company that revolutionized the industry, and I'm a far better engineer than he is and more personable too. These thoughts filter down to the way that I live. Why don't I get rid of my van and buy a Mini Cooper like I have wanted for a decade? Because I would rather drive a Prosche 911 Turbo. Why don't I buy a nice bed and some more furniture and a huge TV? Because I would rather buy land and have a house. Why did I go to Pakistan and try an 8000 meter peak instead of trying Denali or Aconcagua first? Because it's bigger and bigger equals better right?
I am clearly delusional. I am obviously crazy. I have accepted those opinions as facts. I fear that these ideas in my head hamper my ability to have a committed romantic relationship. Or any relationship really. On the other hand my focus is very long term. I've been thinking about Mt. Everest for eight years, now it's just the funding. I do know that these expectations and desires set me up for disappointment. March 2010 was a really rough month. Fortunately, I am enough of a normal person to take joy in how far I have come. When I defended my masters thesis I was incredibly happy! After so much time and work, I had something to show. It was the most fulfilling formal educational experience I have had. There were so many times I thought about quitting. When I ran a 4:38 mile at Smith college my senior year of college I was ecstatic! While I planned and still do plan to be able to run under 4:20 in the mile some day, actually getting under 4:40 was amazing because part of me never thought it would happen. It is the same with my engineering. I solve problems and make products last longer, and in 2010, I was not sure I would ever have that chance. I'm a useful addition. I'm part of something. I am economically productive. It is very rewarding.
I still have a lot to do in life. I have a number of "delusions" to chase. However, if this afternoon I end up unable to walk, talk, see, and work for the next 50 years of my life I have enjoyed more success than any one person ever deserves. It is the dichotomy of performance. The new best performance is not enough, yet it is infinitely more than is deserved. I am so blessed!
Friday, December 16, 2011
How Do I Find a Gift?
I have always struggled with gifts, and most of family has as well. I have often bought someone something that I wanted. Example: I bought YakTrax for my parents last year because they are getting old and slip and fall on the ice. My sister bought them for me. I think I used them more before January last year than my parents did all winter. However, I must mention one of my parents slipped and fell on the ice while shoveling the driveway without wearing YakTrax. I was there later to say, "I told you so."
The problem is we do not know each other well enough to really know what the other person wants. We just use the easy way out and ask. Additionally, I know what some people do want, or would greatly appreciate but it is beyond my budget this year. So coming up with a creative useful wanted gift within my budget without asking is as tough a problem as I know. I also struggle because nothing physical that I have does anyone else I know want. Seriously. Except for my new bicycle, but they would all probably rather have the money than the actual bicycle. Who wants a seven and a half year old computer? Who wants a 25 inch tube TV? Who wants a sagging couch? Since I live this way I find it hard to justify spending money buying something that will not enrich anyone's life. A bigger flatter TV, another screen to stare at, anything for cooking or cleaning, anything ornamental, these seem like gifts of excess or gifts that imply something. I want to give gifts that say thank you.
Leave some suggestions below please. Thank you for reading!
The problem is we do not know each other well enough to really know what the other person wants. We just use the easy way out and ask. Additionally, I know what some people do want, or would greatly appreciate but it is beyond my budget this year. So coming up with a creative useful wanted gift within my budget without asking is as tough a problem as I know. I also struggle because nothing physical that I have does anyone else I know want. Seriously. Except for my new bicycle, but they would all probably rather have the money than the actual bicycle. Who wants a seven and a half year old computer? Who wants a 25 inch tube TV? Who wants a sagging couch? Since I live this way I find it hard to justify spending money buying something that will not enrich anyone's life. A bigger flatter TV, another screen to stare at, anything for cooking or cleaning, anything ornamental, these seem like gifts of excess or gifts that imply something. I want to give gifts that say thank you.
Leave some suggestions below please. Thank you for reading!
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
I Was Hacked
Most companies get hacked. There was an NPR program that highlighted it recently. The guest said that there are two types of companies, 'those that know they have been hacked and know it and those that have been hacked and don't know it'. Well, it happened to my website.
I had a poll last week about how many hours per week salaried people work and by the time it closed I had over 10,000 votes for "less than 35 hours per week". That was the first choice in the poll. What I suspect happened was a robot or other automated program found my website and started clicking on the first option on my poll and kept clicking on it for a long time. Unless someone physically clicked on that 10,000 times, which considering people were only allowed to vote once, is unlikely that someone would go to the trouble of removing the Google cookie to revote that many times. Plus, I only had about 700 visits and 1200 page views while the poll was open which indicates that some sort of automated "hidden" program found my website.
Thus is life. Welcome to the 21st century. You can either be paranoid and upset, accept the loss of security, or a combination of the two. Frankly, I don't really care in this case. If my financials get hacked and I lose money, then I would be upset. On the other hand, if someone would like to take away my debt they can have it. Other than that, I know that my movements around the Internet are tracked and the order that I click buttons is recorded. There is actually a huge boom for people skilled at deriving meaning from "big data". One kid at Brown who is 19 has been tracked by a recruiter since he was 16. That does not have much to do with being hacked, except that people that you don't know and will never meet know things about you that your friends and family probably don't know. Of course, they don't know that the things they know about you are about you in particular.
For example, people read financial stuff in the morning and evening on their phones and tablets more than a computer, which they use during the day, that hits my habit of checking the financial news directly. But who knew and more directly, how can that be channeled to make a company more money from advertising?
So my friends, you are being tracked and likely hacked, often.
I had a poll last week about how many hours per week salaried people work and by the time it closed I had over 10,000 votes for "less than 35 hours per week". That was the first choice in the poll. What I suspect happened was a robot or other automated program found my website and started clicking on the first option on my poll and kept clicking on it for a long time. Unless someone physically clicked on that 10,000 times, which considering people were only allowed to vote once, is unlikely that someone would go to the trouble of removing the Google cookie to revote that many times. Plus, I only had about 700 visits and 1200 page views while the poll was open which indicates that some sort of automated "hidden" program found my website.
Thus is life. Welcome to the 21st century. You can either be paranoid and upset, accept the loss of security, or a combination of the two. Frankly, I don't really care in this case. If my financials get hacked and I lose money, then I would be upset. On the other hand, if someone would like to take away my debt they can have it. Other than that, I know that my movements around the Internet are tracked and the order that I click buttons is recorded. There is actually a huge boom for people skilled at deriving meaning from "big data". One kid at Brown who is 19 has been tracked by a recruiter since he was 16. That does not have much to do with being hacked, except that people that you don't know and will never meet know things about you that your friends and family probably don't know. Of course, they don't know that the things they know about you are about you in particular.
For example, people read financial stuff in the morning and evening on their phones and tablets more than a computer, which they use during the day, that hits my habit of checking the financial news directly. But who knew and more directly, how can that be channeled to make a company more money from advertising?
So my friends, you are being tracked and likely hacked, often.
Monday, December 12, 2011
Right and Wrong
Belief is a scary thing to people who see it in someone else. Example: terrorists. They have a belief about the way things work that allows them to do things that many people consider unthinkable.
I like to think that I have a strong belief. One of the by products of my belief is an understanding of the world in terms of right and wrong. There is gray area in life. Examples are: which college is the right one? What structure modification will make a product I work on last the longest and cost the least? What length and pace of tempo run today will make the greatest improvement? What is the difference between an 8k tempo at one pace and a 10k tempo a few seconds per mile slower, and which one is more effective for the runner today?
Not all answers are clearly right or wrong, there can be varying degrees of better or worse. However, by viewing things in terms of right and wrong many answers become clear. When deliberating over the length and pace of the temp, the question about what type of workout is the right one to do today has already been answered, a tempo run, not a recovery run or intervals or hills or a long run. I use running examples so often because it is so simple. If you do A, B and C, you are probably going to get D.
Getting back to the point, I had someone recently attempt to place gray area in a topic that I saw as right and wrong. I briefly argued my point in front of the present group, and after a very unsatisfactory response I just kept quite the rest of the session. I am reading Steve Jobs biography and he often lashed out verbally and aggressively at people that he thought were incompetent. That is not my style, but I felt like it would have been an effective way to respond. After all, because of Steve's harsh criticism, he ended up building a team at Apple of high performers. He got rid of the people that did not perform well.
The problem is, I feel I have no authority. I am the youngest, the newest, the least experienced, and I feel the least respected. How do I tell someone who has more influence over the situation, "you are wrong," when I know that saying that will almost surely draw me negative criticism and probably the response that I am wrong? As much as I may pretend to not care what other people think about me, I do care.
This is a source of conflict for me. Do I have the courage to stand up for what I think is right? Apparently not. I think about this and am appalled at my weakness! If can't stand for this one thing, can I stand for anything?
Before I stated my disagreement at the event in question my heart was thumping as loud as it has in a long time. Louder than it does before I ask a women out. I thought it was going to beat out of my chest. I didn't know if I would even be able to speak. Of course, after I got a few words out it calmed down and interestingly enough another member of the group put in a few words to back up my train of thought. Still, not continuing to argue what I know is right, is wrong. In other words, even though I poked a hole in the bubble, I didn't squash it to pieces.
I see myself excelling at upper management some day. The ability to direct a group of people to the best solution thrills me. Part of management involves saying "no" and telling people they are wrong. I can do that now, but as a lawyer friend told me, the law is not about right and wrong it is a discussion, compromise or argument that gets drawn out and changed all the time. At my stance on the totem pole, I feel I would lose every battle.
Following a tangent, I see politicians, Occupy Wall Street, the Tea Party, Europe, and others saying things and I think, "you guys are idiots! but you have a good point..." Of course we need to raise taxes on the wealthy, but not so that we can continue to retire at age 65 or even age 60. Of course we need some sort of heath care overhaul, but not so that we can give everyone diabetes and heart disease medication, but so that we can get people eating healthy and exercising so that we have preventative health care. Of course we need a better education system so that we are not paying $32,000 a year per inmate in California, but not so that we give out degrees willy nilly based on what teenagers want to do but what they can do to be employed productively after graduation. Of course we need to curb government spending, but not at the expense of the least fortunate and most challenged citizens in this country. On a super direct tangent, that I am extremely passionate about, and have not voiced publicly on the Internet before, because I care what people think about me, but I will now in the interest of being direct and honest and open, (this is really big for me, drumroll please,) abortion is wrong, but we need to address planning parenthood because we need to do something better than we do now! Seriously! I think that all babies are a gift, but I think that many of them are burdens at some point as well. It seems incredibly ignorant to me to be against contraception without providing copious education. Actions have consequences! I see your Occupy movement Wall Street executives and Congress politicians and raise you the Bolshevik Revolution.
Well, that's how my thoughts mutate. I don't like to argue unless I know I will win. Case in point, I had an argument with a biology major in college and it boiled down to the grass not being alive according to his statement.
So that's how it goes, another blog post that probably only gets me closer to being fired and having fewer friends.
I like to think that I have a strong belief. One of the by products of my belief is an understanding of the world in terms of right and wrong. There is gray area in life. Examples are: which college is the right one? What structure modification will make a product I work on last the longest and cost the least? What length and pace of tempo run today will make the greatest improvement? What is the difference between an 8k tempo at one pace and a 10k tempo a few seconds per mile slower, and which one is more effective for the runner today?
Not all answers are clearly right or wrong, there can be varying degrees of better or worse. However, by viewing things in terms of right and wrong many answers become clear. When deliberating over the length and pace of the temp, the question about what type of workout is the right one to do today has already been answered, a tempo run, not a recovery run or intervals or hills or a long run. I use running examples so often because it is so simple. If you do A, B and C, you are probably going to get D.
Getting back to the point, I had someone recently attempt to place gray area in a topic that I saw as right and wrong. I briefly argued my point in front of the present group, and after a very unsatisfactory response I just kept quite the rest of the session. I am reading Steve Jobs biography and he often lashed out verbally and aggressively at people that he thought were incompetent. That is not my style, but I felt like it would have been an effective way to respond. After all, because of Steve's harsh criticism, he ended up building a team at Apple of high performers. He got rid of the people that did not perform well.
The problem is, I feel I have no authority. I am the youngest, the newest, the least experienced, and I feel the least respected. How do I tell someone who has more influence over the situation, "you are wrong," when I know that saying that will almost surely draw me negative criticism and probably the response that I am wrong? As much as I may pretend to not care what other people think about me, I do care.
This is a source of conflict for me. Do I have the courage to stand up for what I think is right? Apparently not. I think about this and am appalled at my weakness! If can't stand for this one thing, can I stand for anything?
Before I stated my disagreement at the event in question my heart was thumping as loud as it has in a long time. Louder than it does before I ask a women out. I thought it was going to beat out of my chest. I didn't know if I would even be able to speak. Of course, after I got a few words out it calmed down and interestingly enough another member of the group put in a few words to back up my train of thought. Still, not continuing to argue what I know is right, is wrong. In other words, even though I poked a hole in the bubble, I didn't squash it to pieces.
I see myself excelling at upper management some day. The ability to direct a group of people to the best solution thrills me. Part of management involves saying "no" and telling people they are wrong. I can do that now, but as a lawyer friend told me, the law is not about right and wrong it is a discussion, compromise or argument that gets drawn out and changed all the time. At my stance on the totem pole, I feel I would lose every battle.
Following a tangent, I see politicians, Occupy Wall Street, the Tea Party, Europe, and others saying things and I think, "you guys are idiots! but you have a good point..." Of course we need to raise taxes on the wealthy, but not so that we can continue to retire at age 65 or even age 60. Of course we need some sort of heath care overhaul, but not so that we can give everyone diabetes and heart disease medication, but so that we can get people eating healthy and exercising so that we have preventative health care. Of course we need a better education system so that we are not paying $32,000 a year per inmate in California, but not so that we give out degrees willy nilly based on what teenagers want to do but what they can do to be employed productively after graduation. Of course we need to curb government spending, but not at the expense of the least fortunate and most challenged citizens in this country. On a super direct tangent, that I am extremely passionate about, and have not voiced publicly on the Internet before, because I care what people think about me, but I will now in the interest of being direct and honest and open, (this is really big for me, drumroll please,) abortion is wrong, but we need to address planning parenthood because we need to do something better than we do now! Seriously! I think that all babies are a gift, but I think that many of them are burdens at some point as well. It seems incredibly ignorant to me to be against contraception without providing copious education. Actions have consequences! I see your Occupy movement Wall Street executives and Congress politicians and raise you the Bolshevik Revolution.
Well, that's how my thoughts mutate. I don't like to argue unless I know I will win. Case in point, I had an argument with a biology major in college and it boiled down to the grass not being alive according to his statement.
So that's how it goes, another blog post that probably only gets me closer to being fired and having fewer friends.
Friday, December 2, 2011
Applying Education
I realized something yesterday, I have had more short term (daily and weekly) consistency for longer in my life since moving to Iowa than I perhaps have ever had. My reasoning is that in school there were semester breaks and class changes and long summers. Considering that, I have been doing somewhat the same thing for eight months.
It is strange because I still feel like it is new and I have not yet arrived at the end of the semester yet there is no clearly defined next semester although some may argue retirement. This is now the application of what I learned through years of school. Lest my discussion be misunderstood as complaining, I suppose I never really explored the concept of acquiring a position of optional complacency.
People often talk about the corporate "ladder" but I feel a pyramid is really more descriptive of the advancement process. The ladder illustration implies that everyone climbs equally in single file which is clearly not the case. Instead many people remain well below the top of the pyramid. Our education system is in fact designed to accommodate this. There is no bachelors of Chairman of the board. I am not saying that anyone's aspirations are misguided. I am suggesting that the dynamic nature of our education system does not adequately prepare entry level employees for the consistent nature of big businesses. The only suggestion I can think of is a multi-semester class such as "Math and Physics for Engineers" which would last for two or three years, at the same time of the day and week with the same instructor for the entire class. (Sure, they can still have four month summer breaks, but that is a different topic.) I think injecting some long term consistency into the lives of young people, who might be missing that consistency at home would help develop better professional manners, long term relationships, and perhaps even some accountability.
In other words, I do not expect to be in the same position in 30 years because I have never had that kind of consistency. However, that is a possibility that would still be considered a huge success in my view. Many people do not use their degree within their career and in that respect I am more fortunate than most. This journey is continually interesting!
It is strange because I still feel like it is new and I have not yet arrived at the end of the semester yet there is no clearly defined next semester although some may argue retirement. This is now the application of what I learned through years of school. Lest my discussion be misunderstood as complaining, I suppose I never really explored the concept of acquiring a position of optional complacency.
People often talk about the corporate "ladder" but I feel a pyramid is really more descriptive of the advancement process. The ladder illustration implies that everyone climbs equally in single file which is clearly not the case. Instead many people remain well below the top of the pyramid. Our education system is in fact designed to accommodate this. There is no bachelors of Chairman of the board. I am not saying that anyone's aspirations are misguided. I am suggesting that the dynamic nature of our education system does not adequately prepare entry level employees for the consistent nature of big businesses. The only suggestion I can think of is a multi-semester class such as "Math and Physics for Engineers" which would last for two or three years, at the same time of the day and week with the same instructor for the entire class. (Sure, they can still have four month summer breaks, but that is a different topic.) I think injecting some long term consistency into the lives of young people, who might be missing that consistency at home would help develop better professional manners, long term relationships, and perhaps even some accountability.
In other words, I do not expect to be in the same position in 30 years because I have never had that kind of consistency. However, that is a possibility that would still be considered a huge success in my view. Many people do not use their degree within their career and in that respect I am more fortunate than most. This journey is continually interesting!
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Coming Together or Falling Apart?
My last good workout was November 7th. Since then I have not had a single workout at the level I feel I should be running. October was unquestionably the best month of running I have ever had. However, I had a series of small injuries in my lower legs the last few weeks (plantar fasciitis in my left foot and some lower left leg pain that could be anything from a stress reaction to a calf knot), my grandma died, the time changed so that I am now running mostly in the dark, and my two training partners have been injured or busy when I am trying to do a workout. The combination of all that stuff has hampered my training. However, it might be a benefit.
Emil Zatopek was a and these days Zatopek Syndrome is what we say when a well training person, dare I say training too hard, has to take it easy for an extended period of time and has an amazing performance. He was hospitalized before one of his European Championships for two weeks I think, not running a step until the day before the race, and eventually racing against doctors orders (I could be wrong) he won, or at least did really really well.
I am not sure if my low mileage the last few weeks is making me perfectly ready for a marathon or if I overextended myself a few weeks ago and I am going to race slow. I am leaning toward the former. I have to. I have had a number of just amazing workouts this cycle which are so far beyond anything I have done in the past. One simple example, before this cycle my best 20+ mile run was 20 miles in 2:06. This cycle I have done 21 in 2:10, 23.5 in 2:24 (with the last 11 in 1:03), and 20 in 1:59. That's a night and day difference between where I used to train and where I am now. The question is, did I get derailed these last few weeks?
I have been in this situation in regards to running once before in the spring of 2008. I had an injury in March that setback my training. Then in April my first few races were poor 5k performances. Finally, a week before the last meet of my undergraduate years I ran a strong 1500m PR. The next week I ran a 10,000m that was everything I had been hoping for the entire year.
Regardless of the outcome of my race I have decided that my trip to California will be good. Additionally, I'm still hungry to compete. There are moments in training when I am tired, sore, bored, and frustrated that I am seemingly not progressing. I wonder why I don't just throw in the towel and quit. However, I know why I don't quit, I have made the choice to see how far I can go. I mean "far" in the philosophical way. It's about working hard and committing to something and putting in the work to improve. In other words, at the moment running is like my girlfriend. The cool thing about athletics, unlike just about everything else, is that you have a finite amount of time to progress before you are in your 40s and start regressing. If one can learn the techniques and processes to progress to a high level in a short amount of time those techniques and processes experience can be reapplied in other endeavors. What are the similarities between a successful marathoner and Fortune 500 CEO? A marathoner must educate oneself on the history and technology of training typically through copious reading, mentors (coaches), and self experimentation. A Fortune 500 CEO I would assume would be the person who knows the most about the company, their market, their strategy (all considered copious reading and mentors (colleagues and managers)), and has experience both in management and as an entry level worker (education through both the role of mentors (other managers) and self experimentation). I am sure that double parenthesis are not allowed in English, but they are in math!
Emil Zatopek was a and these days Zatopek Syndrome is what we say when a well training person, dare I say training too hard, has to take it easy for an extended period of time and has an amazing performance. He was hospitalized before one of his European Championships for two weeks I think, not running a step until the day before the race, and eventually racing against doctors orders (I could be wrong) he won, or at least did really really well.
I am not sure if my low mileage the last few weeks is making me perfectly ready for a marathon or if I overextended myself a few weeks ago and I am going to race slow. I am leaning toward the former. I have to. I have had a number of just amazing workouts this cycle which are so far beyond anything I have done in the past. One simple example, before this cycle my best 20+ mile run was 20 miles in 2:06. This cycle I have done 21 in 2:10, 23.5 in 2:24 (with the last 11 in 1:03), and 20 in 1:59. That's a night and day difference between where I used to train and where I am now. The question is, did I get derailed these last few weeks?
I have been in this situation in regards to running once before in the spring of 2008. I had an injury in March that setback my training. Then in April my first few races were poor 5k performances. Finally, a week before the last meet of my undergraduate years I ran a strong 1500m PR. The next week I ran a 10,000m that was everything I had been hoping for the entire year.
Regardless of the outcome of my race I have decided that my trip to California will be good. Additionally, I'm still hungry to compete. There are moments in training when I am tired, sore, bored, and frustrated that I am seemingly not progressing. I wonder why I don't just throw in the towel and quit. However, I know why I don't quit, I have made the choice to see how far I can go. I mean "far" in the philosophical way. It's about working hard and committing to something and putting in the work to improve. In other words, at the moment running is like my girlfriend. The cool thing about athletics, unlike just about everything else, is that you have a finite amount of time to progress before you are in your 40s and start regressing. If one can learn the techniques and processes to progress to a high level in a short amount of time those techniques and processes experience can be reapplied in other endeavors. What are the similarities between a successful marathoner and Fortune 500 CEO? A marathoner must educate oneself on the history and technology of training typically through copious reading, mentors (coaches), and self experimentation. A Fortune 500 CEO I would assume would be the person who knows the most about the company, their market, their strategy (all considered copious reading and mentors (colleagues and managers)), and has experience both in management and as an entry level worker (education through both the role of mentors (other managers) and self experimentation). I am sure that double parenthesis are not allowed in English, but they are in math!
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