Stumbled Up and Blown Down

I once again attacked my favorite mountain, Long Peak. This time I attacked it in the winter. Since all of my native Colorado climbing partners were busy I was fortunate enough to be joined by G my mountaineering partner from WPI. The plan was to ascend the north face. We brought ropes, a little gear, crampons and two ice axes/ice tools each.

We ate steak the night before in Loveland and drove up to the Long Peak Trailhead for a few hours of terrible sleep. It was great to catch up because G and I spent quite a few mountaineering Saturdays in New Hampshire going up and down the classic 5000 foot peaks. He also did a huge amount of work to get the ice axes manufactured. I would work with him again professionally any day and I would rope up with him any day as well.

before we went to sleep we agreed on a 1AM wake up time. At 1AM we agreed on a 2AM wake up time. At 2AM we started moving around, eating drinking, dressing, and by 3AM we were walking up the trail. We signed in at the register and started uphill. Within ten steps I was huffing and puffing. Going from 1000 feet to 9200 feet in 45 hours is a little quick. We slowed down and settled into a seemingly slow pace. However, we kept moving and soon enough were above treeline, well before the sun was up.

The wind was rather strong. Gusts were initially in the 30-40 mph range, which is not very challenging, but it gets your attention. Plus viewing the world with the light of a headlamp gives you a rather one dimensional view of the world. We kept moving and were continually losing the trail. I have hiked up and down that trail more than a dozen times, but in the snow and wind I felt like a total novice.

I tried to angle up toward the trail junction with Chasm Lake. However we never hit the trail junction on the way up. Under the assumption and feeling that we were moving like snails, and with at least one gust to about 60mph (the forecast said gusts to 80mph) we called it a day and started heading down.

As it happens we were nearly a mile farther up the trail that I thought. We were on the side of Mt. Lady Washington well above the trail junction. On the way down we ran into the trail that curves around to the gap and followed that down to the junction. We took a few minutes of a break there and this about describes the situation:

The Situation!

Okay, I can't torture you like that and leave you hanging so much. It wasn't as bad as Febuary 2006 on Mt. Adams with I. Windchill of -50F is so cold...

The Situation! With Less Drama. (By the way notice the nice boots!)

I took some video as well, which I will post when I have a little more time. I still have to go for a run and drive to Denver today. Anyway, the moral of the story is I have some amazing friends and going from 1000 feet to 12,200 feet or so in 48 hours is definitely possible with enough hydration and conditioning, but it is not recommended. Oh yes, I already knew that you can't walk in wind more than 50mph, but I'll repeat it for the benefit of others. 

I'm Hungry.

I was listening to the impact of poverty on children on Talk of the Nation on NPR and had some thoughts. I was on free lunches while I lived in St Louis and reduced price lunches throughout elementary and into middle school. I suppose that means I lived in poverty. I never felt like I lived in poverty because I had plenty of toys and we always had food and the heat always worked at home and we had a home!

As 2011 draws to a close I am realizing that this year when I file taxes it will be the first year that I get paid more than minimum wage for the entire year. I suppose I have been poor my whole life. Even as I write that I cannot actually believe it. Wealth is about so much more than income.

For example, my family always had a place to live but my parents did not own a home from the time I was five until I was 20. We lived in apartments and houses lent to us by my dad's employer. I consider having a house, apartment, or place to live wealth. The same goes for vehicles. My parents have bought only one new car in my 25.5 years, but numerous cars over ten years old. Having one or more vehicles counts as wealth to me. Even though I currently drive an 18 year old van with 277,000 miles, I consider that a luxury item.

I am continually thinking about motivation. How does one get it? Where does it come from? What events lead to increased motivation? What things will decrease motivation? Why do I pound out ten or more hours of running per week? What am I trying to prove? Why do I care about getting the best answer to an engineering problem at work and not just an acceptable answer? Why do I model things with solid (3D) elements when others use only shell (2D) elements? Why did I go to college at WPI in Massachusetts? Why did I get a master's degree?

I finished Steve Job's biography by Walter Isaacson on Saturday. What was Steve's motivation? It seems making the best possible user experience, but that is not 100% clear. I will write a review of the book in the coming weeks.

Motivation is something that is cultivated and grown, but exists within. Can one person give another person the seed of motivation? That is one tough question. If the answer is yes then I give credit to my parents for the roots of my motivation. My family vacationed to Colorado when I was young and we camped, had fires and cooked, and my dad told stories of hiking mountains like Longs Peak. I think that those little trips were the seeds of my mountaineering motivation. It was developed along the way by four summers at Philmont, and numerous hikes and climbing in Rocky Mountain National Park and the 14ers around Leadville. Yet it started with a hike to Emerald Lake and a drive to the continental divide ranger station in RMNP. My other motivations have roots with my parents. When I was six or seven I out sprinted my dad in our back yard. He might have let me win but I decided that I should not be able beat him and I did not want others to beat me unless they were actually faster. However, had he beat me would I have gotten discouraged and chose not to pursue running? Probably... My parents are geniuses. I hope I can do half as well with my kids as they did with my sister and I.

I feel that my motivation wanes when I have more luxury in life. Nice things, which I really like, give me the feeling of being complacent. (I'm struggling to come up with an example. I've been sitting here for at least 10 minutes without writing a sentence.)

I quit acting when I went to college. I did five musicals, four plays, and a slew of speech and drama routines at competitions in high school. The highlight was my senior year when my duet with Dana May Salah was amazing. We cleaned up at just about every meet. We were getting first and second at almost every meet we went to. That was after three years of struggling to make it to finals at local speech and drama competitions. At state that year we expected to cruise through semifinals and compete for the win, but judges rated us terribly. Our second round was the best performance of the year. It was the best acting I ever did. When we calmly walked out of the room we were seriously jumping up and down because we just had the most amazing performance of the year! The judge gave us a ranking of five, with one being the best and ten the worst. Unbelievable. We didn't even make it to semifinals. I did do improvised duet acting also at that state meet and my partner and I got 8th at state with a really really tough draw in the semifinal round. The point being, my motivation for acting left after that state meet. People in my home town thought I was going to go into acting, and were surprised that I cared so much more about engineering. Some were even disappointed.

I had no success in competition acting for two and a half years then I had success at the end of my junior year and lots of success my senior year. I was loaded with motivation at the state meet my senior year. After the rejection I feel I felt acting was a search for acceptance and popularity. I felt that hard work did not necessarily pay off. Success or failure was determined by the whim of another person. In engineering and running and mountaineering and relationships the return on investment seems far more direct. If I train hard in running, I run faster races. If I study more material in engineering, I will have a better grasp of the phenomena. If I climb more I will be able to climb more. If I spend more time with a person we will have a stronger relationship (if we can work past the fact that I am a self centered egomaniac). In the words of my high school running coach, "You get what you get."

Another aspect of my attitude is that I compare myself to the best in the world. Watching the movie Inside Job one person commented that investment banking became a contest. 50 Billion dollar deals were not enough it had to be 100 billion. Unfortunately, I feel that way sometimes. So and so runs a 2:14 marathon, so I want to see if I can do it. So and so climbed Everest without oxygen, and I'm a way better runner than he is so I must be able to do it. So and so started a company that revolutionized the industry, and I'm a far better engineer than he is and more personable too. These thoughts filter down to the way that I live. Why don't I get rid of my van and buy a Mini Cooper like I have wanted for a decade? Because I would rather drive a Prosche 911 Turbo. Why don't I buy a nice bed and some more furniture and a huge TV? Because I would rather buy land and have a house. Why did I go to Pakistan and try an 8000 meter peak instead of trying Denali or Aconcagua first? Because it's bigger and bigger equals better right?

I am clearly delusional. I am obviously crazy. I have accepted those opinions as facts. I fear that these ideas in my head hamper my ability to have a committed romantic relationship. Or any relationship really. On the other hand my focus is very long term. I've been thinking about Mt. Everest for eight years, now it's just the funding. I do know that these expectations and desires set me up for disappointment. March 2010 was a really rough month. Fortunately, I am enough of a normal person to take joy in how far I have come. When I defended my masters thesis I was incredibly happy! After so much time and work, I had something to show. It was the most fulfilling formal educational experience I have had. There were so many times I thought about quitting. When I ran a 4:38 mile at Smith college my senior year of college I was ecstatic! While I planned and still do plan to be able to run under 4:20 in the mile some day, actually getting under 4:40 was amazing because part of me never thought it would happen. It is the same with my engineering. I solve problems and make products last longer, and in 2010, I was not sure I would ever have that chance. I'm a useful addition. I'm part of something. I am economically productive. It is very rewarding.

I still have a lot to do in life. I have a number of "delusions" to chase. However, if this afternoon I end up unable to walk, talk, see, and work for the next 50 years of my life I have enjoyed more success than any one person ever deserves. It is the dichotomy of performance.  The new best performance is not enough, yet it is infinitely more than is deserved. I am so blessed!

Bottom-Up or Top-Down View of Performance?

I'm writing this a few hours after I won the Dubuque Duathlon although the idea behind this I had a few weeks ago and I am just getting around to writing it. Nevertheless, take what I say with a grain of salt as I ride this high of wining a race.

When I tell people about my goals, for many I get a response something like, 'that's crazy to think that you are that good to go into a race with the plan of winning it because that's all ego and mean, unfriendly competitive spirit talking.' Perhaps they are right, but I view the world with the attitude of wondering what is possible. Will someone run a sub 2 hour marathon? Yes, unless the world ends first, it will take a few more people to bring the record down and the first time it goes it will likely be in a wind and elevation aided scenario like Boston this year, or something like a track race, or an event where pacesetters do not all start at the beginning, such as two new pacesetters every 5k, something which is not done in running currently. I look at what has been done and I wonder why I can't do that as well. Could I go to the Olympics in the marathon? Perhaps, but it's probably something like a .01% or .001% chance, which in my mind means there is a chance.

Another example is 8000 meter peaks. This year a guy summitted Everest and Lhotse within 24 hours (May 20th entry). This is the first time two 8000 meter peaks have been done in 24 hours, but he slept in the middle and used oxygen. What is possible when it comes to linking up 8000 meter peaks? I mean they are big, but in terms of mileage and even vertical elevation there are a number that are close together like G1 and G2 or Broad Peak and K2. The vertical elevation basecamp to summit on Broad Peak is about 10,600 ft and K2 is about 12,400 ft. I am not familiar enough with Nepal and the Himalaya to talk about more than Everest and Lhotse. For comparison I did 93 miles in less than 32 hours with 22-23,000 feet of elevation unsupported and with a 5.5 hour nap in the middle and 1.5 of walking by iPhone light. With a full support system, what is possible? With a high enough aerobic capacity is oxygen needed? Ed Viesturs did some amazing thing without oxygen, and with all due respect, he's a 3:15 marathoner (at NYC which is not an easy course).

These are top-down views. At the top, there are only a few performances within sight. The challenges are specific and the focus narrow. The top of a pyramid is a point. The pyramid also grows continually because we are searching for the limits. As soon as a new and higher point is placed, some new kid comes along and moves the top higher. While the challenges may sound competitive, it is intensely personal. Each person plays the mental game in his and her own head wether it is possible for him or her to accomplish the task at hand. Of course, at that level it is known the task is possible because the barrier is only a little farther away. The question is, who can do any particular challenge first?

The other view is the bottom-up view. Quite possibly this is a more healthy and balanced view of opportunity and challenges. Using the pyramid example, the goal is to get a little better and move a little higher. When people talk about their results at races in terms of age group standing that is a bottom-up view. The challenge is within a limited range. Unfortunately, this point of view can be limiting. The limits are established by those seemingly out-of-range people.

I say this is a healthy point of view because the goals are more qualitative and less quantitative. The goal is not to run a 3:43.12 mile (.01s faster than current world record), but rather to have a good race and ideally improve the time, but not necessarily. The attitudes in general are qualitative instead of quantitative meaning that how you felt about a performance is more important than the numerical result of the performance. I have actually tried in 2011 to take that attitude into my daily life more. It is easier to say to friends and coworkers that I struggled with the transitions and had a good first multi-event instead of describe the 20.8+mph average on the bike and the 4.2 miles run in approximately 23 minutes as well as the drama surrounding my win. After all, how do I describe to the person that has never run a sub 6 minute mile that except for at altitude I never race that slow?

While I kind of touched on it, the bottom-up view is about feelings and emotions more than physical success. I feel everyone has a a mix of both views but leans toward one or the other. Perhaps it is really goal-orientated versus emotion-orientated that I am trying to describe.

The point of all of this is that I ask myself, 'what is possible?' I have a few ideas of what is possible for me and in all aspects of my life I feel that I am on the path of discovery to find out those possibilities. Some of those possibilities have been done by other people, some have not. Regardless of the outcome there is much learning to be done. There is much doing to be accomplished. Part of the excitement of pursuing the possibilities is learning and experiencing the process.

Would you like to know the hardest physical thing I have ever done? It was the double marathon that I did on my birthday in 2009. I have not done anything that hurt that much. I have had harder mental and emotional experiences and harder combinations of the three, but that was physically the most difficult thus far.

The Power of One

"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has." - Margaret Mead

I am a firm believer in the power of one. Making one thing so important that it is the basis for thousands of hours of your time, perhaps even your entire life. Many people have trouble being that committed to something. It makes people nervous when a person is so incredibly committed to something that seemingly no obstacle will get in the way.

Now that I am sitting down to write this I feel that it can all be said in one paragraph. I have spent hours thinking about this while I was running, but there is really not much to say. When you can say, "that one thing is the most important to me" it will blow people away. In the 2008 presidential election I had a moment like that. I was discussing the upcoming election with my friends and I mentioned that one particular issue was so important to me that despite one candidate doing everything else well I could not vote for him. My friends were all a little shocked to see that one issue, and a relatively minor issue by political standards, was so important to me.

My running career is along the same lines. I get great joy from it continuously, but the goal is really one race. A race that would probably go unnoticed, even by the running community. It is the same for mountain climbing. I have been after Mt. Everest for years now, and when I do get up it my name will be just one in a list of other names. Yet, when nonclimbers learn of my passion I can tell that they do not know what to make of it. Only a few thousand people in the world are in a similar position to myself regarding Everest.

Finally, when I tell people my career goals, I can tell that they do not know what to make of it. No one has ever done the thing I want to do. Yet I say it and lay it out there as if it will be as simple as a two hour long car drive.

Unemployment, was a huge help to me, because it required that I re-prioritize my life. Not much at the top really changed, but things that were further down on the list, fell off the list. Would you prefer to get second place ten times or first place once? For me it depends on the competition, but to know that I pushed myself to the very peak of what I could accomplish mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually is more rewarding than leaving something in the tank and wondering if I might have done it had I tried harder. One thing, above all the distractions. It is going to happen.

Everest vs. Lohtse

Well, the votes are in. The better value between Mt. Everest at $44k and Lohtse at $20k is Everest. It was a close vote seven to six. Interestingly that result mirrors my own feelings at this point very well.

The tallest is the tallest. Is that simple fact worth an extra $24,000? I happen to think so. That being said, I don't have the kind of money right now so perhaps my opinion will be different when I do have that kind of money. Everest and Lohtse share the same basecamp and camps 1, 2, and 3 along the route, at least on the Nepal side. In other words, for a 60 day expedition the difference between the two is probably about 30 hours.

The reason I ask is that when I was a little 18 year old I decided that I liked climbing mountains. I  had more or less taught myself how to use crampons and an ice axe. I had started reading climbing lore through some of the classics, such as Into Thin Air. One of the questions that often came up during my formative high school summers in the mountains was, "would you climb Mt. Everest?" I decided in the summer after I graduated high school 'yes, I would like to climb Mt. Everest.' Being a goal-orientated person who likes timelines because it allows me to break the project into smaller pieces I set the arbitrary date of ten years from then for me to go to Everest. That is 2014. This is 2011 and I have already missed out on the spring season this year, that leaves three chances for the spring season on Everest to meet my goal.

What is stopping me from doing it as low budget as possible, go-into-more-debt, and used climbing equipment? I want to give myself all reasonable safety advantages. I'm not planning on getting any frostbite and I will gladly pay another $160 for another pair of mittens if it means I get to keep my fingers. Additionally, mountaineering is a hobby of mine. I am an engineer. As long as my brain is intact I can do that. Mountaineering is dependent on my body as much as my mind. In other words, I want to engineer now. I also want to run because I can only run to my potential for about the next ten years in distances of a marathon or less while I can climb mountains well into my 50s and be competitive in ultra races into my 40s.

I do not think I have been quite as bold with my plans on the blog before, but this has been in my mind for some time and well, I'm shopping around right now. If I live that long (age 28) you can be assured that I will show up at Everest basecamp with my gear sometime between now and then.

To the question about oxygen some of you might be wondering. I plan to go without. I have a huge aerobic capacity and an incredibly efficient metabolism which should greatly help my ability at altitudes from 23,050-29,035 ft. Up to 23,050 ft. I know that I operate decently well. That being said, after spending more than 40 grand I will spend the extra 1-2 grand to ensure that high altitude porters (typically Sherpas) carry a few bottles high on the mountain so that if I hit the wall on summit day or even the day before I can start sucking Os from a bottle. Honestly, above 23,100 ft I am not sure what to expect. At 23,500 ft would I be a useless pile of bones, muscles, water, and down feathers? I don't think so, but I don't know for sure.

To the other question that some of you might be wondering, 'am I qualified?' Yes I totally am. I am relatively light on time spent at high altitude, but I have a night spent above 23,000 ft, which is more than is required by most outfitters. I also have more technical experience than many commercial climbers.

Finally, to the question a few of you might be thinking, 'how am I going to willfully take two months of work off and re-enter unemployment?' I have a few ideas, like leave of absence, going back to school, contract work, a second book, a speaking tour, or a new job. In other words, I'm not going until I am confident that I have an income source lined up for my return or at least half a year after my return.

I can read about what others have done, but I want to do it! Reading is not the same as doing it. Do you want to know what it is like to run the Wonderland Trail? Go run it! Go be adventurous! Yes, it will hurt sometimes, but you can handle it because you had what it takes to take the first step.

Movie Review: 127 Hours

I went to see the movie 127 Hours about Aaron Ralston on Saturday. He is famous for spending over five days pinned in a slot canyon and eventually cutting his arm off so that he could escape. That happened in April 2003 when I was getting into backpacking and mountain climbing. His story is nothing new to me, but it is very interesting.

Play the mountain game long enough and you will probably spend time soloing and know people that die while in the mountains. It might start off as class one or two terrain (not technical, running shoes preferred).  However, at some point for a select few "heros" it becomes a technical ordeal requiring ropes, equipment and much more risk.

Why do people do technical things like climbing and rappelling solo? That answer is too long for this movie review but it boils down to the challenge and lack of qualified partners. Aaron has a degree in mechanical engineering from Carnegie Mellon and was Tau Beta Pi (so his GPA was higher than mine). Yet another way I can relate to him: go east and get a degree then head west and have fun!

One of the themes and in my opinion the main theme of the movie was that of relationships. I have said before that relationships are the reason we exist, in my opinion. The movie starts off with scenes of cities and crowds and portrays all sorts of people. Aaron lived in Aspen, I believe, in the spring of 2003 which is a relatively small town. I don't think that anyone else in the theatre got the allusion to the crowds, that here was a person that did not want to ask for help or depend on other people. (Yet another way I relate.)

Accidents happen in the wilderness. That is part of the draw to extreme sports. Yet he made one mistake on this particular trip that I am sure he has never made after that or will never make, not telling anyone where he is going. I have done more than a dozen solo excursions, actually probably around 50 or 60 if you count trail running and nontechnical hiking. The difference is, I always tell someone where I am going and in the case that I don't fully trust those people to report me missing I leave a note in the window of my rather visible van or post on Facebook or email my parents. Had Aaron told someone he would have likely been found on Monday instead of cutting his arm off on Thursday. He would probably still have lost his arm but it would not have been as dramatic.

There has been a lot of mainstream media attention to his incident, and I can tell from the way that the reporters ask the questions that they do not know what to think. For me the experience hits close to home. He is a little more than 10 years older than I am. I had no idea in 2003 that my life might parallel his so much, but I am happy that he went through that experience so that I could learn vicariously from his mistake of not telling anyone. More than once I burned rubber up to New Hampshire to climb Mt. Washington or something only telling a small number of people at the last minute. I honestly thought of him every time I told someone where I was going. I know that had anything happened I would have been reported. Thanks Russ!

I don't tell my parents much anymore when I am going on day trips. They worry about me and don't always understand the specifics like some of my other friends.

The question comes up sometimes: if you were in his place would you cut your arm off? I think about that and first of all, I'm not really into canyoneering. On a mountain ridge there are generally less things to fall on you. Plus the view is better. Secondly, that's not a question I have to answer. I am not in that situation so I do not have to make that choice. I will say, I think I am a pretty tough person. I have limped back to my car from injuries sustained soloing more than once. Nothing that lasted very long but enough to get my attention. I will fight to stay alive. Who else do you know that ran 93 miles alone around a mountain with over 22,000 feet of vertical gain and loss in less than 32 hours for fun?

What about the actual movie? Is it any good. Yeah, it is worth the time. To a person like me who can relate, who will likely run into Aaron on a mountain some day, the movie is good. It is always good to have a reminder that relationships are important. A lot of you readers know me personally and I don't say this enough: I love you. I could die mountain climbing. I don't want to and I will try awfully hard to keep living, but it could happen. Watching 127 Hours and knowing about Aaron's story over the last eight years has helped me express how much I care just a little more. Sure I still don't do it enough, but I'm working on that. Give me a call sometime if you want to hear it.

The Purpose of Hard Shell Jackets

I finally bought a hard shell jacket. I've been in the market for about six years and I finally found a jacket that fits, is in my price range (less than $100 for actual quality), is light enough, has features I like and none that I don't.

For those that don't know, a hard shell is a dense fabric or coating such as Gor-Tex that is designed to be water proof. In the last 30 years as "breathable" fabrics and coatings have emerged this now typically means waterproof and breathable. In other words, expensive, barely breathable and and uninsulated. I took a pictures of myself in my new jacket below.

As I contemplated my purchase on the hour long drive home I thought, 'after everything I have done the last six years why am I buying a hard shell at all? I got along just fine without it.'

So I came up with a list of reasons to own a hard shell.

1. Ice climbing in the rain
2. Rock climbing in the snow
3. When you are no longer having fun outside because of the weather but are still hours away from lattes and heaters

That is about it. In total that accounts for about 10% of the time that I spend playing in the outdoors. Typically when any of those scenarios happens the trips is nearing completion but it will be nice to stay dry a little longer than I do with my three ounce wind shells. 

Climbing Mountains

With 50% of the vote Mt. Washington in New Hampshire won as the highest mountain most people were likely to climb. It is a great mountain, one of the best there is, but there are more mountains, and some of them are very interesting.

Receiving 12% of the vote each was Denali, Kilimanjaro, the Eisenhower tunnel outside of Denver, and one person who doesn't plan to leave sea level.

Mountains are cool.

Jeff Gorges on top of Mt. Washington in the winter (I think I took this picture but it might have been Randy)

My first Mt. Washington summit September 2005 at dusk (I'm on the right)

Let's Climb the Nose!

The Nose of El Capitan is probably the most famous rock climb in the world. For many people it is the pinnacle of their climbing career. For good reason, the 33 pitches of granite up the middle of a gentle arete in the middle of a mile wide vertical rock is about as spectacular of a setting as any on earth. The best part is that it is so popular that it has dozens of bolts, beat out cracks, almost no loose rock, and it's warm! I was talking with a friend who was far too amazed with my partial solo ascent of the Nose in August. He was inquiring what it would take to climb the Nose and I told him, not much.

There are a whole range of ways to approach a big technically demanding but strait forward climb like the Nose. Four examples in order from shortest to longest amount of preparation:

• Hire a guide. It is quite possible that for enough money a guide would spend one day climbing with a complete novice to teach him some basic things and then they would go spend the better part of a week climbing the route. This would be an expensive option, but realistically the whole trip could be done in nine days so that you would only miss one week of work. It would also be an expensive trip, with a price of more that $200 per day, probably closer to $300 per day. Also, you would not do any leading, just jugging and help hauling. If your goal is simply to get up the thing, this is the way to go.
• Convince an experienced climber into taking you. All of the climbers that I know have non-climber friends. This method would take a little more time, in terms of preparation, and it would likely involve more work during the climb. Most experienced climbers would probably make sure that whoever they were taking with them had good enough belay and multipitch skills. A short introduction would likely involve some time top-roping with the novice to teach the very basics then some time spent multipitch climbing with the novice, likely including jugging up a fixed rope and even hauling. If your goal is to get up the thing with the feeling that you contributed to the climb this is the way to go.
• Build up the experience to evenly distribute the work load between two or three climbers. This would take months of experience learning to lead climb and deal with the intricacies of placing artificial protection, anchors, and (non-bolted hanging) belay site management. If your goal is to climb the Nose with the sense that you did your fair share of work on the climb this is the way to go.
• Do something extraordinary like solo the route or do the Nose in a day (NIAD). This would likely take years of practice. I gave my friend the number of about 100 days of climbing experience. That range would give a dedicated climber enough time to confidently approach the Nose with big goals. To do the NIAD it usually requires advanced skills like traditional rock climbing at 5.11, short roping, simul-climbing, previous route experience, and a similarly competent partner.  However, if this was your one goal it is easily definable and thus is strait forward to train for.

Of course there are other routes to get to the Nose. In general, I have learned that on just about every route you can group all of the climbers into one of those four groups. I have been in all of those groups at one point or another and depending on the route that I am climbing I might still fit in any one of those four groups.

After spending two days alone tearing my knuckles to a bloody mess it has left an impression on me. I want to climb it! The whole thing not just the first 500 feet. However, right now I am about 2300 miles away and unemployed so it may be a while before I get back there.

Defining Hobbies

In interviews, and in person, I get asked what my hobbies are. I used to say all sorts of activities such as reading, rock climbing, blogging, painting, hiking, camping, whatever I put time into. However, I have narrowed my focus, at least in terms of what I define as a hobby, down to two: running and mountaineering.

What about blogging and painting and wood carving and reading Charles Dickens? Well I see those more as projects. My other activities are short term temporary recreation. Semantics, if you will, but there is a clear divide in my head about priorities. If given the choice between a great year of running leading up to a life altering race or a year of blogging leading up to something significant in relation to my blog, I would choose the running. It is the same for mountaineering. If given the choice between climbing Mt. Everest or writing a successful book about it, I would rather climb it.

I have said before, I love commitment. Calling something a hobby instead of a project or experiment means to me that I have made a commitment to work and play at it for years. While I may quite possibly blog, paint, and do other things consistently for decades to come, I have already been racing for a decade and I mountaineer at a fairly high level. I define mountaineering as the activities encompassing everything from urban buildering to summer alpine rock climbs to K2 in the winter. I have found, in my short time that when I focus on something or at least a small number of things that I tend to do much better than if I casually do a dozen things. A jack of all trades is a master of none.

So there they are, running and mountaineering. I have two hobbies. Now if only I could land a job...

I Am Scared of Heights

I've said many times this summer to my friends and climbing partners that I am scared of heights. That is really a huge oversimplification. The issue demands a somewhat complicated explanation.

I could die climbing. It could be in the mountains at a remote location or a a 40 foot high cliff next to a paved road. The thing is I don't want to die climbing.

I went through a phase a few years ago where I saw death as a result of my mountaineering as inevitable. I thought that there would eventually be a day when something happened and I died. I still climbed safe. I thought that my fatal fate would be something out of my control. I guess it is the syndrome where everyone looks at the other people and thinks that bad things only happen to other people, not them. (Like with unemployment...)

Anyway, the significant turning point for me was probably taking a 40+ foot factor two aid climbing fall. I pulled two pieces of protection out of the rock and was stopped only a few feet short of a ledge that would have surely broken me.

During that time I decided that I really did not want to take falls like that. It was not fun. It hurt. I did not want to die at age 28 climbing a mountain. (I was only 22 at the time.) However, emerging on the other side of that phase of my climbing life I have a new respect for heights. Also, a new appreciation for injury and death. That is to say, I do not want to die, but it is a possibility. I take all sorts of precautions to minimize the chance of a dangerous incident. I use ropes. I wear a helmet. I place pretty good protection.

Colin Haley is featured in some new videos on the Patagonia website and he talks in Part 2 about being scared. There is a video of Alex Honnold getting scared on Halfdome, although it is in another language. A similar video of him free soloing Moonlight Buttress is interesting. It affects us all. To say that you are truly not scared of heights is crazy. My theory is that if you are not scared of heights you are not scared of death and as a climber you will inevitably jump off a cliff. That being said, fear manifests itself very differently in me at heights than others. I like heights. They are thrilling.

For example, in the video of Josh and I rappelling off of the diamond, still hundreds of feet in the air at a fixed anchor with tattered slings, there was hardly any fear in me. Rappelling, especially in an alpine setting off of fixed slings, is one of the most dangerous things in the world of mountaineering. It is nerve racking, especially on a six millimeter rope. It is scary. Yet I've been in that situation so many times that I am very comfortable with it.

Another example of me being comfortable with heights was teaching my friend Andrew big wall climbing. Watching him explain what happened is really the best.

Good huh?

So while I am quite scared of heights, I enjoy heights much better than most.

From Backpacking to Trail Running: Clothing (Part 5 of 5)

Clothing is a multibillion dollar a year industry. This is so much variety and so many options between all of the different clothing lines. It can easily be confusing when deciding what to wear. Additionally, what has been successful for me may not work for others. Physically people are different.

For me the clothing system starts with the shorts. Running shorts are a must in my book. They are the lightest option. Many styles have pockets which allow you to carry food, a phone, a rain jackets or other small essentials you feel you need. Currently I am using a pair of ASICS with five mesh pockets around the waist. At $40 per pair for running shorts it is the only pair of running shorts that I have with all of the pockets. They are also longer than the typical pair of running shorts going to just above the knee.

Next is deciding what to wear on top. Depending on the weather this could be nothing or a hundred dollar technical insulation. I have switched to synthetic materials the last few years. I don't wear cotton when I run. I used to and it is acceptable in good weather but synthetic shirts keep me drier and if it gets cold, they keep me warmer. I rarely run shirtless. Typically in warmer weather (50 degrees Fahrenheit or warmer) I will wear a short sleeve. No particular brand. Usually a recent race t-shirt. When it is colder (30-50 degrees) I will wear a long sleeve Nike shirt. It's a great length both the sleeves and torso. It's also fitted, which means it fits a little tighter and doesn't bounce around as much as an unfitted shirt.

When the temperature gets colder it can get more complicated. I have two of those Nike long sleeve shirts and I will wear them both. I also have a Patagonia R1 Hoody which I wear, often in combination with a wind shell. I like the hoody so much that I wore it about a month in Pakistan. The wind shell that I currently use is the Montbell U.L. Wind Parka. For three ounces it is totally worth the wind and water protection. It keeps me mostly dry and fairly warm. Then I typically wear some thin Black Diamond Powerstretch gloves. I also have a pair of Patagonia Nordic tights which they no longer make. They are great tights. They are thick to keep me warm, they don't itch, and they stretch very nicely. I wore these tights on Broad Peak as well. For socks I wear some pair of synthetic blend running socks. I have many pairs of Wigwam socks, since I only live a few miles from the factory and this summer I started using Zulu socks since they are so comfortable.

For accessories I wear a white Nike hat and Tifosi Slip sunglasses. The sunglasses vent well and I'm on my second pair. Several of my relatives have had skin cancer and I try to take a few measures to prevent my own skin cancer. I even wear sunscreen.

From Backpacking to Trail Running: Food (Part 4 of 5)

When running for more than two or three hours you will be using so many carbohydrates that replacing them during the run becomes important. The longer the run the more important to consume calories during the run.

Now it is very possible to run a marathon without eating. The only time I have run 26 miles I only ate one gel and drank eight ounces of water and I finished the run quite strong. However, in general trying to complete a multi-day backpacking trip in one day of running involves more up and down than your typical road run. It might also involve higher altitudes, which raise your metabolic rate, so you need to eat more. It could also involve in-climate weather and eating helps keep you warm.

I had energy bars for the first time when I started backpacking in 2001. I started using energy gels in January 2008 for my long runs. One of the slowest things that you can plan to do when "running" a trail is plan to cook or sit and eat. If you can't eat it while you are running or at least walking, it is too complex. The keys to food choice are taste, digestibility, and simplicity.

You have to like, or at least tolerate well, what you are eating. Otherwise there is a very good chance that you will get to a point where you just do not want to eat what you have. Then you are carrying dead weight and you are not getting the calories you need. It has to be digestible. Energy gels are a prefect example of easy to digest. Blocks of cheese and meat on the other hand take a little more effort. Additionally, it has to be easy. If you plan to eat a sandwich, make it before you go instead of carting the ingredients separately. Cold, bloated, shaking, and sweating hands will make it difficult to make a sandwich at mile 35. I have eaten a bag of potato chips while running and it was hard to breathe and chew without choking. Cliff Shots have a Litter Leash that keeps the top of the energy gel attached to the packet so that there is only one pice of trash. One piece trash makes things simple.

It is also important to eat at consistent intervals. This could be as simple as eat an energy gel every 45 minutes. It could be eat when you feel like. It is simply important to keep eating. Try not to let yourself go a few hours without eating or your body may choose to shut down for some undesirable length of time.

Finally, keep an eye on nutrition. You need mostly carbohydrates to run. You will also need sodium and potassium to avoid cramps or hyponatremia. While it is important to eat what you like, so that you eat something, salty carbs are at the top of the list for beneficial ultra running foods.

Some of my recommendations to try are the chewables, like Cliff Shot Bloks, Jelly Belly Sport Beans, GU Chomps. Try energy gels if you have not. Some of the flavors are not very good but other flavors taste better than jelly. Chocolate almond butter might be my new favorite. I have eaten the protein bars while on runs and I find them too dense to consume while I run. They are fine when I am sitting and great after I am done but during a run the protein is just too heavy. Ultimately, you have to try the different brands and flavors to find out what works best for you. Enjoy shopping!

Previous Trail Running articles in this series: Attitude, Footwear and Water.

From Backpacking to Trail Running: Water (Part 3 of 5)

Water is an important commodity. Without it your future can be measured in hours as easily as it can be measured in days. Attempting to run for half of a day or a whole day requires a large amount of water. So much water that it would be prohibitive to carry all of your water from the start. Additionally, how you carry the water will make a difference for your comfort and hydration.

Pick a method that allows you to drink a little bit whenever you want. That is to say a water bladder or a water bottle you can sip from. Unfortunately, a traditional one liter Nalgene will probably not work. With a splash guard you can walk and drink however walking and running are somewhat different. A one liter Nalgene is also hard to hold for more than a few minutes.

I started my trail runs with a 100 ounce Camelbak. I would fill it as full as I thought I needed it. It worked well. The mouth piece was near my mouth so drinking was easy. Unfortunately, the water sloshed around and bounced up and down on my back. The weight of the backpack was also unwelcome, despite it being less than a pound. A nice option for very long trail runs where an overnight stay might be required.

The second option, and my currently preferred option is hand held water bottles. I have a pair of Ultimate Direction FastDraw Plus water bottles. Each bottle is twenty ounces. Take one or two depending on the length of your run. I do have a smaller four ounce elliptical water bottle that I use occasionally on long road runs when I am not terribly concerned about hydration but want those four ounces. Other companies make water bottles with hand straps. I bought these because they were highly reviewed and they have worked great!

Now if the run is simply a few hours then all the water can be carried from the start. On the more complicated hand, in many trail running situations water will need to be purified along the way. Since I've had quite the tutelage in purifying water I'm going to explain that as well.

There are many ways to purify water. First is boiling. Simply boil the water for a few minutes (the exact length of time is very disputed from the second it starts boiling to ten minutes is what "experts" say). This is the most common method at high altitudes where snow and ice is the only source of water. At lower altitudes for people carrying some amount of weight a filter is most common. One filter can purify hundreds of gallons of water. Once the water is purified it is instantly clean. This is a great method but most pumps weight around a pound. Third is a UV pen. I've never used one but I hear good things about it. However these still weigh a descent amount and the batteries can die. Fourth is iodine. Pour a few drops of concentrated iodine solution or a tablet into a bottle. Five to fifteen minutes later bleed the threads by turning the bottle upside down, unscrewing it until a little water comes out, then screw the lid on tight. Then weight for some length of time, 30 to 120 minutes usually, and enjoy. The fifth method, and my trail running favorite, is Micropur MP1. It is very similar to iodine. It uses chlorine dioxide to kill everything in the water. The water tastes like pool water.

Anyway, as I was 70 odd miles into the Wonderland Trail I had to purify another bottle after coming over Panhandle Gap and to spice up the 90 second experience I took pictures!

First I would take the Micropur and my van key out of the pockets on the water bottles.

Next I would cut the foil on the Micropur with the key and tear it far enough to get the pill out.

Then I would fill the bottle with the cold clear mountain water.

Pop in the Micropur and screw the lid on. About fifteen minutes later I would bleed the threads and squeeze some water through the mouthpiece. An hour after I put the lid on I considered the water safe to drink. Not Katadyn recommends four hours to kill everything in the water. However I was using a one liter dose for only 20 ounces. It was also clear water that my hands heat up. Hot water allows the chlorine to work faster. I learned all of this from a Katadyn sales representative four years ago. He said that 30 minutes would kill everything in warm clear water.

Lessons from the Big Stone

My time in Yosemite was very educational. While I started four climbs and finished none of them I did some things well. I also learned some things.

1. Jugging. I learned to ascend ropes better. I have ascended ropes many times both on simple steep snow and ice in Pakistan and on overhanging terrain in New England. However, I had never ascended rope with a backpack full of four days of big wall supplies. That was really hard. It took probably three hours to get up 400 feet. I learned to use a chest harness. By clipping a quickdraw to the shoulder straps of my backpack and clipping that to my highest ascender it kept me from flipping backwards with 50+ pounds of stuff on my back.
2. Anchors. I've encountered two bolt anchors on multipitch climbs before. However, nearly every anchor on the standard routes in Yosemite are two bolt anchors. I finally had the chance to use a more simple system. Simply using two carabiners I would clove hitch the rope I was tied in with into one bolt and then clove hitch or tie a figure 8 on a bite and carabiner that to the second bolt. Then I would clip the backpack into one bolt. If either bolt failed the whole system would hang by the other bolt given that the rope doesn't break. It is generally accepted that the rope is the strongest element in the climbing system. Other single elements might break or fail but the rope is never supposed to fail. They have several times but it is very very rare.
3. Partners. I did a lot of solo climbing. Which is fine, but it is harder. It takes more effort to haul everything alone. It is tiring to lead every pitch. The rope management is more difficult. It is mentally more difficult being motivated only by yourself. Simply put, I prefer to climb with people. 
4. Camping. It is free to bivy, camp without a tent, below Halfdome, and other places. So the night before climbs on Halfdome or other remote locations you can camp for free. It is free to bivy on routes. So taking multiple days to climb a route is nice because you can sleep on ledges or on a portaledge if you have one. Camp 4 is great but the seven day limit during the summer is a little restrictive. Camp 4 also has a huge bear problem. You probably have a three out of four chance of seeing a bear any given night there. There is free camping just outside of the park boundaries in the national forests, but from "The Valley" it is at least a 30 minute drive and not really worth it.
5. Food. The pizza place at Curry Village was my preferred restaurant in the afternoon. The Yosemite Lodge Cafeteria was my preferred breakfast place, although I never ate there in the afternoons so it could be good as well. I also ate lots of Ramen and tortillas that I brought into the park. In the park grocery stores I was a fan of the quart cartons of milk for 99 cents. Even the chocolate milk was only 99 cents. Finally, I was turned onto almond butter from Trader Joes by one of my climbing partners. It is good stuff.
6. Showers. The most fun method of washing is jumping off of the El Capitan bridge into the Merced. It is about seven feet above the water so watch out for a nose bleed. (It didn't hurt I was fine.) The Merced is chilly but compared to the heat in August it is perfect. The dry air dries your body in minutes and you can stare at El Cap as you dry off. The more traditional alternative is to shower at Curry Village. If you wait until after 6 PM it is free, or at least it was free while I was there. However, there is often a line because people know it is free. During the day it is $5 to take a shower at Curry Village. 
7. Tri-Cams must have been invented for angle piton scars. Yosemite is full of angle piton scars and Tri-Cams fit in them perfectly. Be sure to bring a black (.25 size) and pink (.5 size).

Those are the major lessons I learned at Yosemite. I also learned more about climbing but those were smaller lessons in the big picture. Yosemite feels like a crag. It feels like the rocks are all 80 feet tall. The approaches are usually pretty short and the cracks are mostly clean. Part of climbing well is feeling comfortable in your surroundings. Eventually I will return to Yosemite. Now that I know it better I am sure I will get higher up whatever I try next time. Perhaps I will even top out El Cap...

From Backpacking to Trail Running: Footwear (Part 2 of 5)

I've been most successful out here on the west coast trail running, not climbing. So for the benefit of others I will describe how I have learned to conquer trails faster. For Attitude (Part 1) click here.

This tutorial begins at the ground. Like any good machine it is built from the ground up. The first step in going faster is your choice of footwear. While there can be some discussion about the perfect footwear the fastest choice is lightweight running shoes. In the past two months I have carried 60 pound backpacks with lightweight running shoes, I have free soloed 5.0 rock climbing, and ran for most of 31 and a half hours. All with the same pair of shoes.

Backpacker Magazine several years ago put out a article about lightening your load so that you could save energy and hike farther. One of their pieces of information was that one pound of weight on your feet is like carrying another 6.4 pounds on your back (page 51). The idea is that you have to move your feet a whole lot more than the stuff on your back gets moved. That is to say that if you can make your footwear two pounds lighter you could carry over 12 pounds more gear in your backpack and still burn the same amount of energy. Alternatively, you could simply save the weight and hike a fraction of a mile per hour faster and an hour or so longer than your previous backpacking.

I realize that running shoes are not for everyone or every situation. Approach shoes, street shoes designed for climbing, are designed for climbers tackling fourth class or easy fifth class terrain so that they can approach the difficult section of the climb without having to stop and change their shoes multiple times. However, when the climbing is never very difficult they can simply use the approach shoes for the entire route instead of even bringing climbing shoes, saving more weight. The more technical the terrain the more sophisticated gear that will be necessary to cross it. Steep ice climbing will require boots, crampons, and ice axes.

Getting back to simple non-technical trail, keep in mind that the goal is speed. Now imagine that you can only burn so many calories in the course of a day. The less weight you are carrying the easier it will be. Lighter shoes are the way to go. I recommend going for the lightest running shoe you can find that offers you enough support. I am a fan of minimalist shoes so the shoes I have been trail running in this summer are Mizuno Wave Ronin 2s which come in at 8 ounces and are advertised as racing shoes. I think they are actually partly responsibly for my stress reaction, but they have a very nice, fairly durable tread which is better than the other seven pairs of lightweight shoes I have. The point being, a good tread is important. Trails have wet rocks, mud, sand, stream crossings, polished logs, and moss that all conspire to reduce the traction between your shoe and the ground. So whatever shoe you go with bring something that won't fall apart after a few miles.

Be sure that your shoes and socks combination works for you without giving you blisters. Going up and down and around switchbacks will throw your feet around your shoes like crazy. I feel that I am more likely to get blisters on these runs with difficult terrain than I am pounding the pavement. With proper shoe fitting and a nice pair of socks you should be fine. Although, there are no guarantees.

From Backpacking to Trail Running: Attitude (Part 1 of 5)

I've been most successful out on the west coast trail running, not climbing. So for the benefit of others I will describe how I have learned to conquer trails faster.

1. Think about the goal.
2. Talk about the goal.
3. Accomplish the goal.

Before reaching the point where a 20 mile trail run is no big deal there is the mental quest. The process of telling yourself that you are capable of doing it. I think this little process happens in all aspects of life. It has applied to me accomplishing many goals.

Trail running is different than backpacking or hiking. Somewhere in the the middle of the run the only people to be encountered will be people with backpacks and tents. They will stare at you as if you are crazy. They will tell you how awesome it is what you are doing. They will think that you are not really enjoying the outdoors. They will envy you. They get worried that they might have to help you when you can't help yourself.

Trail running is very much going out on a limb. Carrying only a bare minimum of supplies for survival. It is very elegant. It is very simple. Yet it is also somewhat risky. Generally supplies are not carried for injuries. While a backpacker could easily camp at the location an injury occurs, a trail runner without overnight supplies is forced to keep going to lie down and wait for others to help. It could involve shivering for hours, hypothermia and fending off animals.

In fact, hypothermia is a huge concern. Many of the most scenic places to run through are the exact places where hypothermia strikes. Challenging mountain weather with a three ounce rain shell can be cold. The key is often to just keep moving. Wearing just running shorts and a thin shirt is asking to get hypothermia in 40 degree rain.

Do not be afraid to sweat. Old school backpacking and mountaineering involved working just easy enough that you did not sweat very much. Well forget that when you run. Running involves sweating, panting, fatigue, and even bleeding now and then. There is a lot of suffering, but it doesn't last long. I have had some consecutive days backpacking that were wet and cold. The sky was cloudy and dark. While the sound of rain on a tent is amazing, a damp sleeping bag and wet shoes are not. Runner's get to spend the night inside in a bed most of the time. Pretty comfy if you ask me.

The Stages of Mountaineering

This is an expanded and modified version of the process that I learned this summer from the animal chef at the Denver Zoo. I do not recall his name but he has been featured in climbing magazines several times and climbed very hard routes so he is a legitimate authority on the matter. He was taught the Stages of Mountaineering from an older mountaineer, whose name I recognized yet I forget that as well.

There is a rather predictable process that most mountaineers go through. It is not always this way but often it is.

1. Rock Climbing. Before this phase many mountaineers are simply hikers or backpackers. They probably even go up steep things, but in general before rock climbing everything the climber does could be done in normal flexible average shoes. Rock climbing is somewhat more dangerous than hiking. At least it feels that way. Accidents can happen and people do get seriously hurt and die every year. However, with proper techniques the danger is very low. Strong anchors, safe ropes, and relatively new equipment used properly will prevent most serious injuries.
2. Ice Climbing. At this point the climber would like to try something a little more challenging. Instead of shorts and a t-shirt on a sunny day rock climbing the climber will wear expensive clothing, boots, and more exotic gear. The adventure becomes more dangerous. Ice screws, bollards, and v-threads have the ability to melt out or fracture and break the ice. While a chock or bolt used rock climbing may be safe for years ice features can melt in a matter of hours. It is a more committing sport and people are seriously injured and die every year as a result of that increased danger. Fewer people take part in this sport (about 200,000 people in the US versus 4 million rock climbers).
3. Alpine Mountaineering. The climber now seeks to obtain a better view from higher peaks on harder and longer routes. Skills of both ice climbing and rock climbing are used as well as backpacking, cooking, and dealing with altitude, often in remote locations. There is more danger on this step than the previous two. Avalanches, altitude related illnesses, exhaustion, environmental conditions that change over the course of several days on a route, and logistical problems can all conspire against a mountaineer. At the greatest heights of mountaineering on 8000 meter (26,300 feet) tall mountains in Asia all of the mountains have summit to death ratios at or above 1%. That is to say for every 100 people that make it to the top at least one dies. On K2 the second highest mountain in the world that ratio is about 25%. For every four mountaineers that make it to the top one dies. This level is dangerous.
4. Fishing. Often mountaineers will realize the danger of their sport and proceed to partake in a less dangerous hobby. One that ends with fresh fish eaten in a dry house followed by sleeping in a warm and soft bed. The reasons for this transition are varied. Families, children, old age, close calls, becoming seriously injured, and lack of motivation are all causes for a mountaineer to develop his or her fishing skills. This is also a step where uninitiated mountaineers may be safely brought along on trips. This stage of the process can be shared by the very young and very old alike with almost no danger.

Occasionally a mountaineer that reaches stage four will start back at stage one ten or twenty years later. Climbing things is a very satisfying experience. It is an experience that is hard to replace by other activities. That is to say that the fisherman may perhaps enjoy a little rock climbing now and then.With the advent of climbing gyms an even safer first step can occur. To the best of my knowledge only one person has ever died in a a climbing gym. She was planning ot rappel from about 45 feet in the air and fell off the edge while she was unclipped to anything. Considering the hundreds of thousands of people that use climbing gyms every year that is a miniscule number of tragedies. Also, it appeared to be in part human error, not equipment failure that led to that tragedy, whereas in stages one through three gear has failed outdoors leading to serious injuries and death. That is to say, go try out your local rock climbing gym for a safe taste of mountaineering. You never know where it will lead you.

It's Not Rocket Science: Week 19

This week was interesting. It had some ups and downs.

I was originally planning on having an interview in Maryland this week. Unfortunately, all sorts of little problems coincided so that it had to be rescheduled. Fortunately, the new date is set for this week and I think that this time it will all work out. I won't go into any more detail about the work except to say that it is a materials science job and I am very excited for the interview. I have been asked several times if I am nervous and I have to say that I am actually not nervous. I am who I am and I have done what I have done. Obviously there is no lying in an interview. If I am not the best person to help them then I hope they get a better new employee. I am confident that life always works out for the better, however painful that is along the way. If this doesn't pan out there will be more opportunities. Who knows, I may spend my winter making snow at a ski resort in Colorado. That job could start within less than a month.

After that large "down" for the beginning of the week I went climbing. I climbed on the Piz Badile twice, getting to the top once and getting rained off once. I went climbing on Sharkstooth, but turned around when it became too cold and windy for me to feel comfortable. I went bouldering on Lumpy Ridge and climbed the Little Twin Owls.  Below is the view from the top of the North Little Owl looking at South Little Owl and Longs Peak.

I bouldered my cabin several times finally getting past the crux which is a layback on the roof with my feet on wooden slopers. It's maybe V1 or easy V2. Then I went climbing on Lumpy Ridge again on The Book and as usual made it up one pitch of 5.8+ in poor style with a climbing partner who had not done too much traditional climbing before. Thus tears were shed and we rappelled down. On the positive side I managed to get a Link Cam stuck. My climbing partner could not get it out so I rappelled and tried to get it out. After maybe ten minutes it came out. I have never stuck a cam so well (that's a bad thing because it's expensive, but a good thing because it is very safe). It was a good learning experience for me working a Link Cam out. They are my favorite piece of rock climbing protection and the more I know how to work with them the better and safer I will climb.

I ran 10.5 miles this week. I probably hiked just as many or more. My leg keeps feeling better but it still hurts a little. I plan to start ramping it up this week or next. I can tell that I have lost a lot of my fitness. On the positive side, I just know that this injury is better than it could have been. I could have easily been knocked out for several months with a fracture.

Since I am living more or less free at the camp I am at I have also been doing some work to repay their generosity. I stained my deck this week and helped move a kitchen. When I say kitchen I mean four eight foot long steel serving tables with five sinks a piece, a double convection oven, and a walk in freezer. Yes, we moved a walk in freezer. Three of us. The other two in their upper 50s and myself. It was tiring.

I applied for more jobs using the standard online applications. I have been called about so few of those jobs in the past. Even though I have a much better idea of how to apply I still do not feel very optimistic about my chances getting any of those jobs. As I apply for jobs and have no income to speak of I am content in a way. I climbed a whole lot this week. While I haven't "done" anything to speak of in my life, such as work 40 hours a week in engineering. I am somewhat enjoying this vacation. There is a good chance that the next time I have this much free time I will be in my 60s or 70s. Also, I have worked hard. My education, specifically the last five and a half years of it were not easy. That is to say, I desperately want an engineering job, but I do not feel guilty about rock climbing the better part of four days this week.

Free Soloing

The most dangerous climbing game. The big showdown. You fall, you die. The idiots game. The game of the perfect people.

Two years ago I started rope soloing seriously (and four years ago for the first time) because I thought free soloing (climbing without any rope or protection) was too risky. It is very simple, if you fall from over 30 feet in the air chances are you will die. Tuesday I did my most risky free soloing yet. There is a little 500-600 foot tall rock near the place I live called the Piz Badile. The North Ridge is a simple 5.6 four pitch climb. My friends and I have climbed it numerous times. Rumor has it one of my friends free soloed the whole thing. Now if you known what you are doing the whole thing can go at 5.4. So Tuesday I went up on it with the intent of soloing it, part with a rope, and part without.

The first part of the ridge is generally the crux, but if you climb the left side of the ridge it goes at maybe 5.0. I free soloed that in my running shoes. At the first belay ledge I switched to rock shoes and roped up. About one regular pitch farther I unroped and free soloed some more. Then I roped in for a little more. Finally where the ridge flattens out I unroped and cruised the traverse to the hill. The exposure on that last part was maybe 200 feet down or 300 feet on each side of this three foot wide ridge of 5.0 climbing. It sure got my heart pumping.

The reason I decided to climb without a rope holding me in is that I have realized how much faster it is to free solo something. There is no stopping to put protection in. There is no rope management. There is no belaying. Less gear is needed. Climbing shoes are about it. Dean Potter free soloed the Casual Route on Longs peak car to car in 3:59. Two years ago it took my friend and I 20:15. Five times as long.

However, this post is not about how much faster it is or why it is dangerous. This post is about what it feels like. I have read other climbers descriptions where they talk about nirvana or an ideal faultless state. They feel like they will not make a mistake. I didn't feel like that at all. The first pitch I felt fine because I've done that section several times. However, above that it was terrifying. My fingers did not stick to the rock magically. I didn't feel more secure than when I climb with a rope. My heart was beating hard and fast and my hands were sweating. When I free soloed the ridge above I had to take a break after about 150 feet because I was out of breath. Without stopping to put in protection or belay I was moving very fast over technical terrain. I had to sit there for 30 seconds on this tiny ridge to get my breathing under control.

It was not exactly a liberating experience. It was scary.

When I climb I do not spend much time looking down. I am always looking up or to the sides to figure out where to go next. That being said the two seconds here and there where my gaze happened to drift downward really got my attention. There is no lying to yourself when you are free soloing. It is very honest. You fall, you die. Derek Hersey and John Bachar died free soloing. In the Himalaya, Karakorum, Alps, Rocky Mountains, and elsewhere around the world dozens of people have died from "falls" while the terrain they are on may only be third or fourth class or grade two ice the result is the same. I say "falls" because I have taken falls in the mountains. Falls that, without a rope, I would not be here. However, I have not taken any of those "falls" that each person can only take once.

There is a video of Dean Potter soloing El Capitan in Yosmite that just scares me and inspires me. He free solos stuff really far off the ground. No margin for error. Another video is of Alex Honnold soloing Half Dome. A full page picture was featured in Outside Magazine (I think) recently of him at the end of the traverse on the Regular Northwest Face. I have read of that traverse. It scares people. Watching him do that in the video, when he freezes half way across... my palms were sweating even though I knew he made it.

Scary, fun, dangerous, rewarding, and scary about describe it.