Tuesday, December 24, 2013

The Emptiness of Fulfillment

Have you ever finished something and felt afterward a sense of loss because you no longer had that purpose in life? It could be a goal you worked toward for a long time and accomplished and after did not have any higher goal to go after. It could be a relationship you worked at for a long time only to have the other person leave after some predetermined length of time, like going graduating college or high school.

We all have this feeling, the inevitable let down that accompanies loss. It is not so much the action, relationship or achievement that we enjoy as much as the sense of purpose from that action, relationship or achievement. For years I wanted to run a marathon, now I have run several. The mystique that the distance once had it no longer has for me. It is still certainly a challenge, but more scientific than mysterious.

I bring this up because 2014 is going to be an interesting year. I certainly do not understand all of the events I will go through. In some ways 2013 has already been that for me. Being vegan for ten weeks and then not having a good race at Chicago left me with an emptiness about all of the effort I put into the sport. The little thought in the back of my head, 'I have done so much already, I've proved a point, I can stop whenever I want.' Yet I keep going.

I do not know of a solution to the feeling of loss of purpose after realizing a dream. Perhaps diversify life activities enough to always have something worth work toward? Definitely being a Christian there is always something more than can be done to further my faith. Perhaps the temporary nature of the earthly things we pursue is the reason fulfillment in our experiences seems just as fleeting as the experience itself.

The world will continue spinning, despite your life feeling like the world should stop. I suppose the only advice I have is to have a deeper purpose. A purpose which transcends all our actions.

Merry Christmas!

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