Tuesday, December 10, 2013

I am Going to Quit… Something

I do too much. At least I sign up for too many things. I get put on too many boards and go to too many meetings. So I end up willfully missing things. The time for the thing comes, and while often I am actually at something else, sometimes, I just don't want to go, so I don't. Everyone thinks her or his thing is the most important. That is not totally true, as people get older they seem to grow more comfortable with the idea of people have other priorities than his or her own.

Part of growing older is learning to prioritize and assign value to one's time. There is also an aspect of learning about oneself. I gain energy from time alone. I gain energy from one on one and small group settings too, but larger groups, or less aligned groups are draining. The last few weekends I have laid on the couch more than I care to admit. It is a result of doing so much most of the rest of the week, that I need to replenish my energy. I often sleep nine or ten hours on a weekend night.

The truth is, I glorify burning out. I look forward to hitting the wall. I envy the person who went so hard that no more can physically be done. It is really not a great attitude. Life is a 90 year long challenge, not a three year sprint, yet I treat it like I am nearing the end, this week.

No idea if I will actually quit anything. I will say I am looking forward to Christmas and New Year's for the time to hibernate. On the other hand, in the long term I cannot let myself not do everything I can in life. Our time here is so limited. What is possible with a little extra effort in life? The chance to change one more person's life.

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