There is something I want to do. I have been working toward it for years. Yet now as the time approaches the realities are sinking in. This is not easy. This is in fact dangerous. I suppose that it must be hard to separate the pretenders from the contenders.
The other side of this is that even if everything goes exceeding well and according to plan there are so many other things that I will miss, or have already missed, in the process. Is it worth it?
Ultimately, it is a selfish endeavor. How can I make the world a better place by doing this selfish thing? This does fit into the larger picture of my career goals, but then again the question can be asked how does that goal help others?
This altruistic urge is such a strange thing. I have this desire to please others and help others, yet I am so driven to do things that are selfish. There are many things that I know. There are a fewer number of things that I understand. Then there are the things I want to know. What is possible? Yet that question comes with risks because the pursuit of the limits in a finite world means that sometimes a line is crossed. No one wants to cross that line. So we hide and wait for someone else to do it.
"You're hiding from yourself. Yes you are, yes you are." - Royksopp, You Don't Have a Clue