Yet another week living the life or something like it. This is the third post I am trying to write this afternoon so I'm trying to transition to remembering what happened this week.
I went to work every day this week. That is normal, but seriously, some days or weeks it is harder than others. I have not exercised more than one day of vacation since I started working January 24th, 2011. Although I did have 11 consecutive days off between Christmas and New Year's. That was wonderful.
The expectation is 45 hours a week. Let me tell you 45 hours a week is more than 40 hours a week. I think that the real difficult part for me is simply acknowledging all of the time that I work. In college I did productive stuff from 7 AM to 10 PM five days a week and half of that on Sundays. The difference is that there was a few hours doing one thing, then something else, then something different, then something else, and then another thing. I also never kept track of my hours, I just worked and worked until it was done. Sitting at my desk for nine hours, and often enough ten hours, working on one or two projects takes a lot of strength and patience and persistence. I feel so weak because I have trouble concentrating for nine strait hours every day. I see other people that put in more hours and seem to focus on their work so well. In short, I feel lazy and like a failure. Which is ridiculous, because I know I am doing a pretty good job. In fact I did so well on a project recently that a senior engineer told me that I could never leave. Remember feelings are not fact. Regardless of my personal feelings about my own feelings this is a great experience. The lessons that I am learning, about how I feel about my work, are incredibly valuable and will serve me well throughout my life.
I only ran 40 miles this week, but I took two days off and I did debut in the steeplechase. I've been having some lower outside left leg and ankle pain the past week or so and it is not better yet. Just another thing to deal with.
I bought a motorcycle helmet this week. Then I tried to go to the DMV to get my license, but it was raining and I didn't bring my passport so it was a waste of half an hour. It was so frustrating because for the 15 minutes I was inside, one person was helping everybody, another was "managing" the printer as in handing a customer something every few minutes, and a third was seriously just sitting there. A 15 minute long line for the person helping everyone yet another person just sitting there 10 feet away. Just another thing to deal with.
Coaching went well. I mean, performances have been up and down this season with a different reason for everyone. The most common contributing factor being that the athletes don't train year round. If you want to excel at anything, you have to incorporate it into your life. If you want to be a better reader, it would be wise to read a whole bunch during the summers when you are younger and continue reading when you are older. Education does not happen strictly within the confines of the classroom. It is the same with running or a relationship or engineering. You do not need to pursue it with the same intensity year round, but consistent practice and effort is necessary for development.
This is all very interesting stuff. As I ponder the future and reflect on the past I wonder where I am. Such as, I have been so fortunate and blessed in my life, will I get hit by a car and die walking back to my apartment this evening? I have enjoyed more luxuries and experiences than most of the world ever will. On the other hand, I would like to be part of some big things, so is this the silence before the big show? Dangling off of a foot there is the question, has my life reached a point of stagnation? Is this more or less how the rest of my life will play out? I don't know. I do know that I enjoy some change, although the new Blogger interface is causing me problems. Just another thing to deal with.
One last aspect of my life to comment on. My previous RFA supervisor S has taken a new position with Deere. This guy is amazing! He is one of only three engineers I know that could convince me in three minutes with the right idea to quit my job and join him in a startup company. Most people would have to woo me a little harder. I hope that he enjoys the success in that position that he desires.