Without a doubt I am disappointed that I ran a 2:35. However, it was so windy and I placed relatively high that I am not disappointed with my performance. In any race the goal is to leave everything on the course, and I did. I mean they took me into the medical tent and I have barely been able to walk this week so I would say that a 2:35 on the day and course was everything I had.
Still I am disappointed I ran so slow over the last ten miles. When I was telling my parents Sunday afternoon I realized that to most people running a 2:35 is a huge accomplishment and if I was hit by a car and unable to walk the rest of my life today, I would be satisfied, but I am not. I have not reached my potential. Sure 2:35 is not a terrible time to start with, but I want more.
In many ways I have a certain satisfaction about finally having raced a marathon. After all, it was a personal record down from 2:57 during a long run. I guarantee that 22 minute jump is the biggest I will ever have in the marathon. I mean 16:20 more and I could "retire" of course those next 16 minutes could take years.
I feel relaxed and confident now that I have been through a marathon race. I have heard about them, but you never really know until you experience it just how it feels. Well, I feel like my foot is broken now and I've been coming home after work and taking naps instead of running. In other words, I'm in pain and tired, anything less would be disappointing.
You know, it's good and bad. I did what I could, and it was a step in the right direction, but it was still just a step and not the end goal. I suppose any goal worth achieving takes a lot of work. More work than I have put in thus far. Perhaps the best way to describe it that it is not what I wanted but it was what I needed so that I would not rest on my laurels or get lazy this summer. It has been three days since I have run a full mile and I am excited to get back at it once I can walk without a limp. My oh my how I have changed! Three days off and I'm ready to run again despite the fact I can barely walk, because of running.
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