Tuesday, February 2, 2016

Am I Scared?

Am I scared of staying in one place? Am I scared to take relationships to a deeper level when I could just leave? Is moving a way to avoid conflict? 

Yes, yes, yes. I just don't get it, living in one place. It's so hard to describe. Here is an interesting article: http://foxtrotalpha.jalopnik.com/what-its-like-growing-up-as-a-military-brat-1722058525

I'm not military, but my family moved seven times between my birth and high school graduation. That's five school districts, six schools, five states, all before I had a chance to direct my own travel plans. Then I did some more traveling and living in various places. The concept of committing to a place for my whole life, it's bizarre to me. Moving so much I learned that it's about the people. I can be be happy anywhere because there are positives and negatives to every place, but it's always the people that make it memorable, that we cry over. I may talk of mountains and trails, but that's because it's easier than describing how I miss my friends. 

I don't know what else to say. I feel like staying in one place is a skill I should try to learn. Yet the rate of learning about the new place slows and an opportunity elsewhere beckons, and it's hard to say no! 

I texted a legit military brat I used to hang out with and climb with about my feelings and he said, "If things slow down and you start to get depressed the urge to pick up and leave kicks in" and it hit me like a brick. I've been injured in my running for a long time, I've been traveling a lot for work the last few months, often last minute, and since I am not coaching any more I have more free time, alone. I can't believe I share this stuff on the Internet. But I say it that others might learn from my experience, and perhaps short cut some of the lessons that take me a long time to learn. 

You haven't heard the end of my thoughts on this.

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