Monday, August 2, 2010

It's Not Rocket Science: Week 17

The week of July 25th to July 31st...

The last week of summer camp. The end. El fin. It's always bittersweet. No more smiling friends, no more helping 11 year olds conquer fear, no more deep conversations on the porch of my cabin, and no more training sessions trying to climb our 5.12c named "Almost". No more dishes for 70 people that I have the opportunity to do alone, no more requirements to be at 18 meals a week, no more people trying to keep me up past 11 PM, and no more pay check.

I've had this experience of getting close to some people then leaving them many times. I've come to the conclusion that many of our relationships are meant to last only a certain length of time. That is not to say that once I leave I ignore or desert my friends. It means that someone I talk to three times a day for two months I may only talk to once every other month when we move apart. Instead of beating myself up mentally about how this affects my relationships I have decided that this is how it is. I think it is important to live in the present instead of the past. It's hard and it makes me sad. On the other hand I get to meet new people in a new place who inevitably enhance my life in some way.

I ran the first three days of the week. Then I went to the doctor's office and they took an x-ray. There is my right leg. The problem that I've been struggling with for three weeks is a stress reaction in my fibula. My tibia is completely healthy as you can see by the white on the outsides of the bone and lighter gray in the middle of the bone. From about 2 inches to about 6 inches above my ankle on my fibula you can see that it is bright white the whole way through the bone as well as slightly swollen. This is a good thing. It means my body is healing itself, however it means I am far more likely to get a stress fracture, which is rather serious. Overall I am very relieved. Not since the summer of 2007 have I gone to a doctor that figured out what was wrong with me and told me how to get better. There is the proof in the picture. It's relieving to have a real physical injury. It makes sense. I can treat it.

Despite having a slower week I never had the chance to use the internet and my cell phone at the same time during business hours. Not a step in the right direction for job hunting yet I managed to get contact information of a person who might be interested in hiring someone like me. Fortunately, I sit here in Boulder on Monday morning with internet and cell phone service ready to get it done. I am very optimistic about the future. In part because I have no plans past the 11th of August. Too much planning contributed to my stress (or demons as a very respected relative of mine calls stress) earlier in the year. One month at a time I will pay my bills. I have also realized that I am comfortable moving back in with my parents after six years on my own. Living with my parents I have gotten more done and been very relaxed. It's not my first choice but I'm fine with it if it comes to that.

Unemployed, again...

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