In My Anger...

...I took a walk. I could complain about a variety of things that upset me today, but it will only serve to harden animosity. Suffice to say at the daily group meeting today I felt defeated. As if errors, things we could have done better, were on me to fix. And I don't have the answers. I don't even feel like some of the questions are valid enough to answer. So I took a walk as soon as I could get out of the meeting... which was ten minutes after the meeting ended because three separate people talked to me individually after the end about issues from the meeting. 

Cooped up in a factory with fumes and terrible air quality, and the downstream effects of thousands of decisions made by dozens of people, I needed some air. 

Walking in the slightly foggy 31 degrees Fahrenheit weather along the parking lot I realized, it's easy to blame someone, it's difficult to fix a problem. And you know what, I'm going to fix problems. Not sure how I'm going to do that besides throw paperwork at people and talk to everyone. But you know what? This project is actually going really well. The quality is actually quite high already. We are making it better every day, and even when it feels like this is the worst piece of junk designed and manufactured by us who couldn't get a proper job, I realize that clearly I exaggerate things and this drama is all to be expected in a project of this scope. My lows can be a little low, but my highs can be a little high too. 

We are doing well. We will get there.