Tuesday, March 18, 2014

People Are Worrying about Me

I think I am being thrown two going away parties by friends here in Dubuque. Pretty strange to me. I had a party when I came back to Worcester after Broad Peak in 2009, but a going away party? Two of them?

There are quire a few people who have told me they are worried about me. It's surprising, or maybe not surprising, but unexpected. I mean, it's a justified concern. Climbing Mt. Everest isn't the safest way to spend two months. Yet, I feel most of the time like I am basically alone, just doing my thing, mostly alone, and then finding that all these people have an interest in what I am doing. It motivates me to keep pushing my limits.

I feel that in part this is a reaction to growing older. In other words, being alone every night, is lonely. After planning this for nearly 10 years, none of going to Mt. Everest is surprising to me. I mean, I feel that in a way I have already done it. Mentally I have prepared and thought about the Khumbu Ice Fall, the Lhotse Face, the summit ridge, and the Hillary Step for so long that it feels like I've already been there. So to have people in my daily life take an exaggerated interest in me, just feels strange. Yet, I want that, not for everyone, but for one person to take extra interest in me, every day.

My friends, you are welcome to worry about me. It's just strange, to me, that so many people are worried about me. Thank you. Honestly, your care for me is humbling. I was not expecting it. Thank you! I have so much, I don't deserve your affection, care and prayers. And the truth is, I may never feel that I deserve affection. I am not good at accepting accolades and affection. I just don't know what to do with it. So thank you! I am so blessed and every comment you make about my safety I am grateful for. God has so richly blessed me, and then he puts you in my life on top of everything else! Thank you!

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