Thursday, September 22, 2011

Throw Away the Hate

I came up with that slogan in high school and I am reminded occasionally of how pertinent it is. Within the last week I think two people were executed for hate crimes, a white man who killed a black man and a black man who killed a white man.

This applies to other things as well. I have struggled with jealousy of others successes. As I get older there is more joy in others accomplishments. How did I change my attitude from negative to positive? First of all I certainly didn't do it alone. I had help from friends and frienemies and authority figures whose actions I observed. Whatching others who seem not to hate others makes it easier not to hate on other people. Second, I focused on myself. By defining my goals in life everyone elses accomplishments or challenges to me become a complement to my journey. Perhaps that is a very egotistical way to look at it, but from my mental perspective others can only contribute and not bring me down. In other words, everyone who I might have harbored anger against in the past, even because they were simply successful, challenged me to define myself, wether any of them or I knew it or not.

Changing subjects slightly motivation has to be intrinsic. It has to come from within based on hopes and beliefs. You cannot give someone motivation, you can try to foster an environment that encourages a desired response. Often that environment is one of competition, intrinsic or extrinsic, with a reward or rewards. Returning to the original subject, what is the reward in throwing away the hate? Certainly less legal trouble, probably less mental anguish, less self berating thoughts, more and likely deeper friendships, and despite a possibly more egotistical attitude likely a more supportive and encouraging disposition.

When people make you mad, throw away the hate.

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