Friday, March 26, 2010

Threesomes Are Not All Fun

Some of my post titles are worded to get people interested. This is one of them.

I once watched a drama/documentary about three football commentators in the 60s or 70s that changed the way football was broadcast. One of the points of the movie was that in any group of three you always end up with a two on one. Now the sides can change depending on the argument, but you end up with a two against one conflict.

This does not have to apply to all three party systems, but in my limited experience in the seven years since I heard the comment it seems more right that wrong.

In a group of two it is either together or apart. They fight as equals because they each have one voice. In a group of three, two sides be taken taken. Two against one. It is a rather harsh and unequal environment. If Survivor has taught us anything it is alliances and trust. When it gets down to three people only the person with immunity votes. It is one simple vote which gives one person at least thousands of dollars and the other nothing.

A triangle is a great shape for structures, but it doesn't work the same way for relationships. Of the three someone has to be in control. However, if someone gets 40% control the other two will decided that one is not worth 40% and stage an overthrow and bring the group down to two. Three is often not a sustainable number.

I am a huge proponent of honesty. I can not lie well at all. Ask my friends. I might say that I can do more than I actually can do because often I do not understand how hard it will be. I will also be the first to say that the minority can be the ones with the truth. That less than 1% can be the in the right while more than 99% are in the wrong. In that context two against one is no big deal; however, humans are shallow. I am one of them so I know from my own experiences. We see two ganging up on the one and tend to side with the two because it is safer. We like to have a scapegoat. It is easier to be the bully than the victim.

In the worlds of people, groups, politics, fights, and relationships three can be a dangerous number.

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