Hard Decisions, Big Risk, Multiple Opportunity Losses

There is something I want to do. I have been working toward it for years. Yet now as the time approaches the realities are sinking in. This is not easy. This is in fact dangerous. I suppose that it must be hard to separate the pretenders from the contenders.

The other side of this is that even if everything goes exceeding well and according to plan there are so many other things that I will miss, or have already missed, in the process. Is it worth it?

Ultimately, it is a selfish endeavor. How can I make the world a better place by doing this selfish thing? This does fit into the larger picture of my career goals, but then again the question can be asked how does that goal help others?

This altruistic urge is such a strange thing. I have this desire to please others and help others, yet I am so driven to do things that are selfish. There are many things that I know. There are a fewer number of things that I understand. Then there are the things I want to know. What is possible? Yet that question comes with risks because the pursuit of the limits in a finite world means that sometimes a line is crossed. No one wants to cross that line. So we hide and wait for someone else to do it.

"You're hiding from yourself. Yes you are, yes you are." - Royksopp, You Don't Have a Clue

I Live in Iowa: Week 64

It's not that weeks pass the same, it's that the differences are not always immediately obvious. For example, I can't say that I was incredibly productive this week at work or finished some magnificent project. Actually I finished one aspect of a big project this week. Unfortunately one aspect means I have more aspects to solve. However, I am having great fun with a project that I handed off. So the way it typically works at work is all of the projects are funneled through my supervisor, a senior engineer. Then he doles out the projects based on what we are working on and have worked on in the past. He rarely gets a chance to do projects of his own. So after I spent a week or two struggling with this one particular project he offered to take a look at it. Two weeks later he is still taking a look at it. This is incredibly rewarding for me, because it shows that when I struggle, it really is a struggle and not some little detail I missed.

Another very very positive thing that happened at work this week was a direct result of something that did not happen at work. I went to a Independence Day potluck and met one of the X-13s at work. That is to say one of the skilled factory workers. The person that has the ability to put all the gages on a machine before we run a physical test and make sure it all works. This is a union position. For worse, the salaried (engineers, etc.) and unsalaried (union) employees don't really interact much. It is a loss for all because even with all of the theoretical knowledge that we have putting it all together in an actual system we don't know what is making it all work. So I met J and we talked at the potluck and he invited me to come see what he does. Then Thursday I did go hang out with him for an hour and a half. It was incredibly productive. It is probably going to be a recurring occurrence. There is a hesitation in such a large company to meet new people and get in their way or come off as the clueless person that I am. Now that I know a guy on the inside though, I can go through the door and ask the embarrassing questions.

In the world of running I ran 7.4 miles. That is great progress. That's almost four times as much as I did last week. I also put some miles on the bicycle, but not a whole lot. The longest ride was 44 miles.

What else? I went tubing Saturday. That deserves it's own blog post.

My iOS Objective-C class is as challenging for me as any class. Of course without the prerequisites I think I'm doing really well actually. The lectures are great! The homework on the other hand, totally bewildering for a third rate programmer. I'm learning so much it is great!

I have two projects in the works. One is the book that I was working on a year and a half ago. I'm working on it again. The other won't be a huge surprise once I announce it, but I am facing some difficulty finding a situation I can agree to.

Hopefully you had a good week. It has been hot out so be sure to stay cool.

The Designated Driver ...Again

I was the designated driver once again. I don't know why I volunteer for that job. I'm frustrated-blogging right now.

So someone threw up in my van. Not cool. Later I was taking one person home, and that person was locked out. The remaining drunk people were swearing at each other and yelling. Awesome.

I'm kicking myself because I should have known this was coming. I was the designated driver all through high school. I even went to the principle's office once because I drove a girl home. In college, at least undergrad, I was the DD maybe a few times but for the most part people walked everywhere. Throughout all of that I did not drink any alcohol. So there was no "payback". In graduate school the situation changed. I began to drink alcohol. However, the groups that I spent time with were responsible (that is no throwing up or blacking out) and there was always a designated driver. In fact, that's part of the reason I started drinking. It is easy not to drink when it is associated with making mistakes and throwing up. All it takes is going to a few parties sober to know that drunk people are idiots.

This is all frustrating. I said I would drive, I didn't offer my van as a convenient place to puke.

I realize that I am an incredibly forgiving person, that's why I do volunteer to drive. Even after I have been doing DD duties for over a decade.

I suppose the problem is that I don't understand. I drink alcohol and I have been drunk. Yet I have never thrown up because of drinking or blacked out because of drinking. I don't get it. When I have had too many drinks warning bells go off in my head (and perhaps stomach) and I have absolutely no desire to have any more.

Oh well, good excuse to clean my van I suppose.

It Gets Easier the More You Do It

This is true for most things. From waking up early to running. Quite a few things are difficult in the beginning but with practice and some effort the difficulties are reduced. I'm not saying that waking up early or running twenty miles ever gets easy exactly, but certainly easier. This is one of those advantages of getting older called experience. While aspects of experience can be replaced by ingenuity and creativity, such as drinking coffee soon after waking up or drinking a liter of water immediately before going to bed, most things still take time to be come comfortable activities. If it was easy, everyone would do it.

I Wear Pants

The idea got rolling last fall when after wearing running shorts for hours per day I didn't feel like putting on another pair of shorts. It developed when I read Steve Jobs biography when it mentioned that he had a "uniform". The idea was reinforced by my experiences in Costa Rica, Pakistan, and Dubai where everyone wears pants regards of how hot it is. I'm not saying I have a uniform. Sometimes I do still wear shorts out of the house. However, it feels more professional to wear pants, even when it's hot outside. It's a little more serious. A little more... grown-up?

I Live in Iowa: Week 63

The weeks just keep trucking by. Not much to report this week. At work I worked from seven to four Monday to Friday. I was not making much progress on one project and my supervisor offered to take a look at it. Three days later he was still taking a look at it. It can be rewarding when the fix is not immediately obvious. Other than that big project I am working on a number of smaller projects. Interestingly enough one of my projects is actually a really big deal. Like, every single machine we make type of deal. It's fun. It is work, but I enjoy it and find the challenges interesting.

I spent time learning how to program again. My class is not for beginners, and I didn't consider myself a beginner, but it's taking a lot of my time to do the work correctly. Still, I am learning many things, and if I can just survive to the end of the quarter, I will be far better off than I was before.

I did run this week, twice. One mile Friday morning and one more mile Saturday morning. Neither one was fast but it felt great to run a little pain free. I will be fine. I might not have any July races that are quality, but by August or September I will be fit, and especially by October.

The Olympic Trials for Track and Field have been on. I hope that if you are a fan you have had a chance to watch a few events. The highlights in my view are Ashton Eaton setting the world record in the decathlon, a tie in the women's 100m to be raced head to head Monday night, and this kid Galen Rupp winning the 5000m and 10,000m. There have been a slew of great performances and close races, I'm looking forward to the Olympics in August!

Website Updated!

Hello Friends!

I updated my website. I got rid of some stuff that people weren't really clicking on and simplified everything just a little to make it a little more user friend. It's also a little more mobile device friendly too!

To expand on the changes a little I shall start with the old. The old website was great, but it had a darker tone to it and the opening picture in the header took a long time to load. Since I spend a significant amount of time accessing the Internet from my phone, it was a hassle to wait for it to load. The links near the top were nearly a waste too. No one bought DVDs. The only person that paid me to coach was a person that I started coaching before I put up the coaching webpage.

The color scheme was inspired by a number of thing. Twitter Blue, as I have been calling it (4099FF) even though it isn't Twitter Blue, has a nice feel to it. It is solid enough that it feels clear, bold, clean, bright, cheery, and to be honest, educated, if that can count as something a color can make you feel. Green is the color of life and growing living things. I went with a bright green because it's more exciting than a dark green. When you scroll over any of the links they turn green signifying the life in that link to another place. There is also a little red too. After you have visited a link it will turn red. That way it is easy to keep track of what you have visited and what you have not.

I hope you enjoy it!