Wednesday, February 2, 2011

What Am I Doing?!

Sometimes I do things and as I am doing them I wonder, why am I doing this? I was working on a project Tuesday night and as I was working on it I thought, 'this is ridiculous! I'm way over doing it. A much simpler concept would be better.'

Changing topics within the general subject, I spent five and a half years in engineering school, with other scientists and engineers. For most of the last year I have been around "other people". People who don't think in numbers. People who are more laid back and relaxed. People who are "cool" or "normal" whatever that means.  I feel so out of my league. I feel like the awkward turtle. Okay, not all the time, but often enough to mention it.

There is a blizzard outside and I am anxious to drive 12 miles to work. I don't want to stay home, I've done that already. Here I am with a job, staying home. At least for a few hours, I'll get there eventually.

I don't know. I don't know.

What am I doing?

Well, I'm alive and I have a job (WOOHOOO!!!) and I'm healthy and I have some of the best friends and family in the world. And I am giving all of those things my full effort. I work hard, I run hard, I love hard. Can I say that? Probably not.

So I guess that I'm giving. Huh... I've always seen myself as a taker more than a giver, much to my disadvantage. What am I doing? I am giving. Okay.

Please tune in tomorrow for the next episode of "Inside Isaiah's Brain" brought to you by the Isaiah Janzen Honesty Association, attempting to understand and solve Isaiah's problems through vaguely telling the world. 

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