The Life of a Contract Engineer: Week 5

In the working world, I did not get everything accomplished I wanted to. I did however find a new resource for software help, within the company, and that is proving to be a very successful relationship. I have been working on this one project for several weeks and I am not done with it. It is a simulation that seems to continually be more complex than I expected. It could easily be done by now had a more experienced person attacked the problem. Which means, I am beating myself up for not being awesome. I set high goals for myself spend a decent amount of time unhappy with my performance, because I fail to achieve those goals.

My running ground to a halt because I injured my hip. I believe it is a chronic muscle tear (knot) deep in my hamstring and hip. I found it, and I massaged it, and it feels broken up. That means that the knot split into several smaller knots and simply needs to be ground out a little finer and I will be as good as new. I ran a total of 43 miles for the week with 20 of that being on Sunday during my long run. It was a nice run at 6:56 pace, but the last 12 miles were with hip pain. 160 miles in nine days I am pretty sure is a nine day personal record. Yes, I know I should have stopped the run early and started resting and recovering. Unfortunately, I have a thick head sometimes and push to finish something after it is clear that the result is not worth the effort.

Socially I had a nice week. I went out to eat with a friend and I had coffee with a new friend. What does it take for me to commit to a friend? A friend who responds to my messages. I have had a number of people in the recent past not return my calls or messages. That being said I have not really checked my email in about three days or voicemail for that matter and I know there are people I want to reply to. I am being a hypocrite and a flake right now, great. Instead I'm blogging, some friend I am. Patience with me please I will call Monday or Tuesday.

I crested 40,000 words on my book. Seeing as how it is kind of a self-help book with a very specific audience, I brainstormed some speaking engagements. I haven't done anything about that yet, but once I work up the courage I'll approach the right people and show them awesomeness. Then once you get the ball rolling all you have to do is make sure that it goes the right direction.

I had a good week, really! Unfortunately, as I write this I feel useless. My project at work is going horrendously slow, my running consists of 3-4 miles per day, all the money that I "make" gets taken by people that want my money, I'm almost 25 and living at home, and my social network in Sheboygan County consists of four people near my age (one is gone every weekend, two I hardly know, and the other I hardly know plus she is pregnant). I am so happy to have all of the things that I have, like a job, the ability to run, any positive amount of money, parents with a house, and any friends, yet I naively expected more. Failing to meet expectations is failing to meet expectations no matter what the situation.

Life is, for lack of a better term, boring. The entire world is similar in that respect. Every neighborhood to somebody is their boring home neighborhood. Writing is post has made me feel better. Just writing all of this down in the last half hour has made me feel more successful and content. This is why I write this stuff down, because putting it in writing makes it a solvable or at least analyzable problem. Had I not spent the time to write this Sunday night I would have gone to bed unhappy. It is strange how my mood can change that fast. Simply thinking about the facts instead of the feelings has fostered a positive attitude in my head since I started writing tonight. Crazy!