When children are young their parents try to raise them in the way they should live. In school teachers and professors want to see the students succeed, however randomly that might be measured. When people have a boss, that boss wants something to get done. When people are in the position I am in there is a lack of direction because there is a lack of accountability to anyone. Then again it seems like most people regardless of their employment situation are still figuring out what they want to do with their life.
Oh how easy it is to work for someone else. To be accountable for something you can do. To have someone else set the bar. Of course it isn't always like this working for someone else. I was doing some temporary work once in the early summer and the first few days were very tiring. It was so hard that on the third day I quit just after lunch and went to sleep because I had heat exhaustion. One of the supervisors got pretty angry to say the least. Fortunately I bounced back the next day and the rest of the work was fine.
I am struggling now, knowing what my next step is. My mission in life? I have spent a lot of time thinking in broad strokes and life is a series of small steps instead. I know first hand that life is hard. I've seen the poor in poor countries. I grew up where going out to eat meant McDonalds.
As I work on my mission, and what the next step is in this ultra-marathon I keep in mind that that is the key: the next step. When the going gets rough, just keep going. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Time only goes forward and I think that experiences and my mission are a lot of time. There are lessons to be learned every day, and I intend to learn then so that I might do... something.