Sore Throat

A sore throat for me is generally a sure sign I have ramped up the training too quick. Getting my knee issue figured out late last week, which was that I had weak  gluteus muscles and did a couple exercises wrong, meant that I unfortunately doubled my running volume. 

It's not even funny how predictable it is. Work hard physically several days in a row (and real deep recovery is not really possible mentally working a full day) at a level I have not done in weeks or months and the first physical sign of over living is a sore throat. The good news is, I postponed the workout for the day because I am slowly learning what is best for my health. 

Writing, Because I am Afraid to Talk

I want to look you in the eyes and tell you my thoughts. I want to tell you everything about Mt. Everest. I want to answer your questions. I want to see the emotion. I want to hear about your life too. What drives you? How can I help? What have I done wrong to you?

I want to tell you about the world, about poverty and starving children. I want to tell you about suffering. I want to cry with you. I want to laugh with you until we cry.

I want to stay awake talking until the sunrise. I want to be vulnerable. I want you to know everything I know. I won't always be here, and some of this stuff is helpful. 

I want to talk to you about the passion I have had for nine years of climbing Mt. Everest that is happening this year. Yet, I despise my own seemingly endless bragging, and thus I have great difficulty talking about the hill. I want to tell you there are dozens of things to be afraid of. I want to tell you that if everything goes really well, according to plan, at the summit of the experience I will have an 8% of dying in the next 72 hours. How can I possibly tell you that?! That is not a conversation starter. In so many respects it is all so selfish. I could donate the money directly to a Nepalese charity instead of hiring a group to help me put my life in danger. 

When I return I will run to the Mines of Spain and bicycle to Balltown if I am able. I will go to work and try to make better designed structures. Hopefully I will be just as healthy June 30th as I am January 30th. Whatever happens up there, the world will keep spinning. 

I want to talk to you about the immediacy I feel in my life and how you have made my life better. It's like pulling teeth. The petty, safe, comfortable, and sometime mediocre world we live in is too easy to remain. The hard issues are so difficult to talk about! The hard realities are just so painful, emotional and serious!

I want to tell you so many things. Yet it is so much easier to inquire about your life or talk about the minor details in my life. You are fascinating. I'm serious. Your story is so different than mine that I honestly don't understand it. I want to know your details. Those things which torment us the most are also the most personal. Yours truly, writing, because I am afraid to talk.

I struggle.

Famous?

People I barely know are finding out how I spend my free time and money. And I think it is surprising for many of them. Recently at the coffee shop, a woman came up to me, "I heard a rumor about you." I replied, "it's probably true." Then we proceeded to talk about Everest for five minutes without actually mentioning the word Everest. One of the things she said was, "you're going to be famous." No one has ever said that to me, at least not in a long time.

To be honest, I think I preferred the lead up to Pakistan. It was more about climbing than a "bucket list" item. Most people didn't have a clue where it was, the name of the mountain I was climbing, or really know much about mountaineering and expeditions in general. When one mentions Everest, everyone has read a book or seen a show on television. There is an expectation, often incorrect, of climbing Everest over dead bodies, without enough experience, running out of oxygen, waiting in lines, and lots of people dying. Yet most 8000 meter peaks have those hazards to some extent.

So it is strange to me that on one hand, many more people will be interested in my climb than in 2009 because they have heard about it, and on the other hand the mountain itself is likely more safe and more developed and in many ways, almost less interesting. There is cell phone service near basecamp. There will be fixed ropes likely the entire way, not just the sections steeper than 30 degrees. It's an interesting experience to live through, the difference between attempting the 12th and 1st highest mountains.

The Many Dips in Long Term Achievement

One of the books I have is The Dip by Seth Godin. The basis of it is that "overnight success" is more often the result of putting in months, years, even decades of work when the going gets tough to get the little advantages that lead to tremendous success. It is similar to the 10,000 hour idea that Malcolm Gladwell has. The other side of the coin is the dip for some things, like CEO of a company, is so long and deep that many people decide they don't want to put in that kind of work, despite the rewards. In those cases, Seth suggests you should quit. Just say no and move on to the next project where you can get through the dip.

As I think about Mt. Everest, my running, my engineering career, they have all had many setbacks. Yet I feel that getting through the dip is worth it. Tonight I slogged through a set of track intervals while a college student led them all. I suffered. My back filled with lactic acid, that only happens when I am truly filling my body with that uncomfortable substance. It hurt. Part of me wonders why I am putting myself through this at 27 years old? Yet I know that getting trough this workout, and the next seven just as painful will lead to better performances than I have ever had. For me, if I can raise the bar even just a little, just a few seconds in a race lasting a number of minutes, there is success.

The point is, if you actually want to go after big goals, you are going to get hurt. You are going to suffer in the pursuit of better. If it was easy, everyone would do it. Apple has success because of the relentless pursuit of perfection. Galen Rupp wins races and Olympic medals because after setting an American Record he does a still difficult track workout 15 minutes later.

I'm not saying suffer through every setback. Sometimes it really is worth quitting something and spending your time on things more worthy of your time. However, there will be setbacks in the things you set out to do, and you have to get up and dust yourself off and keep going. Learn from your mistakes and don't make them a second time. My setback and lesson of the week: sitting makes your gluteus muscles fade away and if you want to run fast, you have to strengthen and stretch them otherwise you will end up with knee pain.

I Live in Iowa: Week 142

Sunday: Pretty standard, church and 10 mile run followed by mostly laying around.

Monday: Martin Luther King Jr. Day, so no work, I ordered boots and a down suit and went out to lunch and ran a bit.

Tuesday: A blur at work of meetings and designs followed by a sore knee so I only ran for eight minutes.

Wednesday: Another rush at work followed by a quick grinding by my skilled dentist and a better run.

Thursday: The most intense work day of the week. We are behind schedule. It's not my fault, and my projects are actually more on schedule than some others, but overall, it's slow going. Did 2x3mile workout after work, longest workout probably since October and had a massage. Could not fall asleep, went to bed at 8:45, fell asleep well after 11.

Friday: A better day at work as one of my projects was made considerably smaller and another design was nearly completed. Then off to a chiropractor to see about my knee pain. A nice shorter run after work and a meal at Texas Roadhouse discussing, among other things, attrition.

Saturday: The usual 15 hours total track meet and bus travel, which means I did nothing else of consequence the entire day.

Honestly, I only worked four days, but it felt like six.

Life Is Good

Despite the stress, the sleepless nights, the doubts, the fear, the truth is it leads somewhere. Let's just say, my final two meetings of the week went exceedingly well. Like, 300% better than I expected. Life is good!

Design Rejection

Five of my designs or my derivitive designs were rejected in ten minutes. All were rejected for different reasons. The truth is, things are rarely designed well the first time, often not the fifth time either, and still common, not designed well when it goes into production of tens of thousands. This is why we work in teams.