Sometimes I get lonely.

I don't need much people time, but I do need people time. Particularly, the friendly low expectation sort of socializing. Sometimes we are in groups where there is always an expectation to perform, to be the best we can be, all the time. It is nice to have those moments where I can just be me and other people will simply be happy I'm there.

Stressing At Work

I think about chucking my career sometimes and becoming an entrepreneur, but then I think about the enormous stress of the whole situation, and I enjoy my 7-4 job.

It would be a lie if I said my job was stress free. In fact, someone actually emailed me this Infographic, "Why We Should Stop Stressing at Work". 

The infographic is long. My big take away, nothing new to me, but don't take things personally. I tend to take my work and responsibilities personally, because ultimately it is the people who do the work, not machines. 

I Live in Iowa: Week 241

This was another good week. What are some of the highlights?

Work went quite well. It was unfortunately a busy week, not a great week for warranty claims. It's funny, statistically, three failures in one week, out of a population of 800, from three different causes doesn't mean much, but it sure raises emotions. That wasn't the good part of work.

I had a direct conversation with my supervisor about my career. I tend to let things (problems) build, until they become legitimate problems. Wanting to avoid conflict, I think many of us do that. Then it all comes to a head and what we get upset about, is only a small part of the reason we are upset. It is good to have those conversations. The icing on the cake was Friday, most people were out of the office, so it was quiet, and I had a full day to get work done. Usually I am just bouncing from one fire to another, and having a chuck of time to sit there and work through actual design is really nice.

Running was okay, 46 miles, running all seven days. I did my first workout in weeks, maybe months. It was 2x2 miles with a 10 minute jog between, and I averaged just under 6 minute pace, which I will take at this level of fitness, in fact, it was slightly better than I feared it might be.

A few weeks ago I bought a Garmin FR235, and I like it, you can be sure I will post a review of it in the next few weeks after I have some time to learn more about it.

Saturday, I went ice climbing! Governor Dodge State park is just an hour away, I knew they had bouldering, but I didn't know they had ice climbing. One of my climbing partner friends just shelled out for ice tools ($200 a piece!) and he suggested we go. I do have eight ice axes and ice tools, but no real set of ice tools. It was a good afternoon!

Stephen's Falls at Governor Dodge State Park Wisconsin

No! I don't want to go to sleep!

It's funny, growing up. There is no magical day when you are suddenly more grown up. Birthdays help reinforce how old we are and perhaps encourage us to act our age. Funny story, sometimes in the evenings it's early, before 8 PM and I feel like I am fighting myself to go to sleep. I am exhausted, but going to sleep before 8 PM seems ridiculous! So like a whining child I find something else to do, at least until 8, then I can go to sleep.

For the record, maybe once a month or so I do actually go to sleep before 8 PM. It first happened about three years ago, and it is more common now.

You Don't Know the Future.

Of course, I don't know the future either. I have been thinking about my future a lot lately, as you would know if you read my blog. One thing that has stuck out to me is how we don't know the future as well as we think we do. In other words, I can imagine my life one year, even six months from now, but chances are I will be wrong about something. 

I get so much stuff wrong. It frustrates me. And the future... I'm not sure you can get it right. No, I don't think you can. There is always something to have missed.

Am I Scared?

Am I scared of staying in one place? Am I scared to take relationships to a deeper level when I could just leave? Is moving a way to avoid conflict? 

Yes, yes, yes. I just don't get it, living in one place. It's so hard to describe. Here is an interesting article: http://foxtrotalpha.jalopnik.com/what-its-like-growing-up-as-a-military-brat-1722058525

I'm not military, but my family moved seven times between my birth and high school graduation. That's five school districts, six schools, five states, all before I had a chance to direct my own travel plans. Then I did some more traveling and living in various places. The concept of committing to a place for my whole life, it's bizarre to me. Moving so much I learned that it's about the people. I can be be happy anywhere because there are positives and negatives to every place, but it's always the people that make it memorable, that we cry over. I may talk of mountains and trails, but that's because it's easier than describing how I miss my friends. 

I don't know what else to say. I feel like staying in one place is a skill I should try to learn. Yet the rate of learning about the new place slows and an opportunity elsewhere beckons, and it's hard to say no! 

I texted a legit military brat I used to hang out with and climb with about my feelings and he said, "If things slow down and you start to get depressed the urge to pick up and leave kicks in" and it hit me like a brick. I've been injured in my running for a long time, I've been traveling a lot for work the last few months, often last minute, and since I am not coaching any more I have more free time, alone. I can't believe I share this stuff on the Internet. But I say it that others might learn from my experience, and perhaps short cut some of the lessons that take me a long time to learn. 

You haven't heard the end of my thoughts on this.

I Live in Iowa: Week 240

This very long week started off in Germany, sore from skiing in Austria. After a short run my friend and I went on an English speaking tour of Dachau concentration camp just outside of Munich. I need to write a post about that separately because it's important. If we don't remember history we are doomed to repeat it. In fact, the upcoming generation, they are too young to personally know WW2 veterans, because most veterans are dead, so there is, in my opinion, greater danger of the world being susceptible to something similar again. The problem with history is that the relevance fades with every generation. I'm getting ahead of myself, another post.

Work went quite well. On Monday I was in Passau visiting our supplier, and learned a few key pieces of information, which explain why we have been having some of the failures we have been having. It was a nice visit. Overall the company is extremely good, that's why we use them.

Tuesday was a flight back to the US, and then the rest of the week I worked in the office. Part of the time with SAP, which I already mentioned I am not a fan of because it confuses me.

Running is on the upswing, which these days I worry is as good as it gets. I ran 55 miles, running all seven days. No workouts but a nice 14 mile long run at a decent pace. Oh it feels so good to run lots of miles. Unfortunately time spent running, or running miles, is a way I feel more comforted and validated by my training.

I spent a few hours on Saturday at my friend's house bouldering, and helping him make the bouldering cave bigger! It's pretty awesome, the kind of thing I wonder if I should have bought a house five years ago and done the same thing.

Building a Bouldering Gym