I do too much. At least I sign up for too many things. I get put on too many boards and go to too many meetings. So I end up willfully missing things. The time for the thing comes, and while often I am actually at something else, sometimes, I just don't want to go, so I don't. Everyone thinks her or his thing is the most important. That is not totally true, as people get older they seem to grow more comfortable with the idea of people have other priorities than his or her own.
Part of growing older is learning to prioritize and assign value to one's time. There is also an aspect of learning about oneself. I gain energy from time alone. I gain energy from one on one and small group settings too, but larger groups, or less aligned groups are draining. The last few weekends I have laid on the couch more than I care to admit. It is a result of doing so much most of the rest of the week, that I need to replenish my energy. I often sleep nine or ten hours on a weekend night.
The truth is, I glorify burning out. I look forward to hitting the wall. I envy the person who went so hard that no more can physically be done. It is really not a great attitude. Life is a 90 year long challenge, not a three year sprint, yet I treat it like I am nearing the end, this week.
No idea if I will actually quit anything. I will say I am looking forward to Christmas and New Year's for the time to hibernate. On the other hand, in the long term I cannot let myself not do everything I can in life. Our time here is so limited. What is possible with a little extra effort in life? The chance to change one more person's life.
Tuesday, December 10, 2013
Monday, December 9, 2013
I Live in Iowa: Week 135
Another week in the bag. I am a week older, another week that we just will not get back. Occasionally I wonder, if I could have redone any major parts of my life thus far would I? Like go to a different school, chase down a different job, run more, climb more, go out on the weekends more, and the answer is not really. I look at the path my life has taken, and is taking, and while not at all what I expected until 2011 changed my life, it is strangely working out really well.
2010 taught me that we can plan and pursue goals yet sometimes we will be sidelined and take tangents that we never expected to take. Somehow, life always works out.
Work was more productive than last week. As I spend more time in my new role as a design engineer I am getting better at understanding what I do. It is really more of project management than simply modeling CAD parts all day long. I currently have five people working on projects "for me". The projects are really for the program and everyone is part of the program, yet I am the one ultimately responsible for the structures. So it is my job to amalgamate all of the work people do on those structures and incorporate that work into a better, more refined product. It's actually better experience than the simple modeling that I hoped for as a design engineer.
I ran 48 miles. A little less than last week, in part because I ran so much last week. I spent the first part of the week tired. I am building up slowly. I had a 12 mile run on Saturday, the longest since Chicago. It is always interesting to run through the Mines of Spain during opening day of Deere season and seeing all of the guys in orange sitting with their guns staring me as I ignorantly gallop through the forest in mostly black…
Coaching is a lesson in retention. Seriously, how do you retain and motivate people?
I have big news in the next week! I'm not going to announce it until I waist deep into it, but hopefully that will be this week.
2010 taught me that we can plan and pursue goals yet sometimes we will be sidelined and take tangents that we never expected to take. Somehow, life always works out.
Work was more productive than last week. As I spend more time in my new role as a design engineer I am getting better at understanding what I do. It is really more of project management than simply modeling CAD parts all day long. I currently have five people working on projects "for me". The projects are really for the program and everyone is part of the program, yet I am the one ultimately responsible for the structures. So it is my job to amalgamate all of the work people do on those structures and incorporate that work into a better, more refined product. It's actually better experience than the simple modeling that I hoped for as a design engineer.
I ran 48 miles. A little less than last week, in part because I ran so much last week. I spent the first part of the week tired. I am building up slowly. I had a 12 mile run on Saturday, the longest since Chicago. It is always interesting to run through the Mines of Spain during opening day of Deere season and seeing all of the guys in orange sitting with their guns staring me as I ignorantly gallop through the forest in mostly black…
Coaching is a lesson in retention. Seriously, how do you retain and motivate people?
I have big news in the next week! I'm not going to announce it until I waist deep into it, but hopefully that will be this week.
Friday, December 6, 2013
Authority and Confirmation Bias
Often people in authority only hear what they want to. It's because we get rewarded for making others happy. It's really hard to spend time around people who disagree. In fact, disagreeing with authority seems that it will only result in negative repercussions. This is a problem. Confirmation bias is we want to please people by confirming their ideas, or rather we want people to confirm our ideas. We are biased to agree that people with views like us have better, more credible, ideas than people who disagree with us. When I say that anyone who makes as much money as I do is rich, only a couple of people have actually agreed with me. Most either assume I make way more than they do or think that six figure income or $150k in annual income might be rich. It's always "the grass is greener on the other side of the fence" which means my neighbor must be rich, at least more rich than I am.
In electronics negative feedback loops typically create stability in an output and positive feedback loops amplify output. A stampede is a positive feedback loop, first five cows are running, then twenty cows running then 100 cows running, and the whole herd. A negative feedback loop is our ears, when something is too loud, we turn down the volume or move away from the speakers. In any endeavor to achieve perfection, negative feedback is necessary. Confirmation bias is positive feedback, and it is the reason why products sometimes end up flops, but senior management thinks it will be great, there was no negative feedback. I will not deny that negativity hurts, but we must seek it out to refine our weaknesses.
I do not know how to convey this forward in your life. Perhaps to say that honesty is important. The truth is more important than your honest opinion, which you likely believe to be the truth. It's a small distinction because often giving an honest opinion based on a limited number of facts is not telling the whole truth, the truth might not be totally known. However, not giving the honest, and negative, opinion only leads to confirmation bias. It is the reason people lead to ridiculous directions and conclusions.
Negativity is not fun, but we cannot be our best without it. Without recognizing the flaws we pretend to live in an imaginary world. There is no perfection. None of us are perfect, and no human made thing is perfect. That being said, I like the phrase, "it's perfect" because it sends the message that we did the best we could with the tools we had, it's really good, and for what it's purpose is, it fulfills the role exactly.
What take away advice is there from this: disagree with someone verbally or in writing the next time you disagree in your head. Maybe that person or those people have no idea of the flaw. You know things that no one else knows, that is what makes you unique. If you never share that unique information, we all lose out.
In electronics negative feedback loops typically create stability in an output and positive feedback loops amplify output. A stampede is a positive feedback loop, first five cows are running, then twenty cows running then 100 cows running, and the whole herd. A negative feedback loop is our ears, when something is too loud, we turn down the volume or move away from the speakers. In any endeavor to achieve perfection, negative feedback is necessary. Confirmation bias is positive feedback, and it is the reason why products sometimes end up flops, but senior management thinks it will be great, there was no negative feedback. I will not deny that negativity hurts, but we must seek it out to refine our weaknesses.
I do not know how to convey this forward in your life. Perhaps to say that honesty is important. The truth is more important than your honest opinion, which you likely believe to be the truth. It's a small distinction because often giving an honest opinion based on a limited number of facts is not telling the whole truth, the truth might not be totally known. However, not giving the honest, and negative, opinion only leads to confirmation bias. It is the reason people lead to ridiculous directions and conclusions.
Negativity is not fun, but we cannot be our best without it. Without recognizing the flaws we pretend to live in an imaginary world. There is no perfection. None of us are perfect, and no human made thing is perfect. That being said, I like the phrase, "it's perfect" because it sends the message that we did the best we could with the tools we had, it's really good, and for what it's purpose is, it fulfills the role exactly.
What take away advice is there from this: disagree with someone verbally or in writing the next time you disagree in your head. Maybe that person or those people have no idea of the flaw. You know things that no one else knows, that is what makes you unique. If you never share that unique information, we all lose out.
Wednesday, December 4, 2013
Mini Fever
I am coining a new term, the mini fever. I am not a warm person. Only about one in twenty hands I shake are colder than my own. Between the normal aging and slowing of my metabolism and the running which is ever so gradually making me more lean, I get cold easily. This is not a problem, I just wear more clothing. However, sometimes, when I sleep or rest I get mini fevers.
I had another one a few nights ago. They are somewhat common. I have probably had three in a week before, typically when I am training hard. What happens is I go to sleep in the 64-65F apartment (winter indoor temperature) under a sheet, fleece blanket and thin down comforter and I am cold when I get in bed but inevitably wake up in the middle of the night roasting. It is more common when I am not hydrated enough, in addition to the hard training, but I typically wake up in the morning feeling very rested and a comfortable temperature.
My theory is that my body in a nine hour attempt to recover goes into white blood cell, or rebuilding, overload and churns through energy in an attempt to repair itself. If you ask me at 1 am how I feel during a mini fever, fever would be a decent description, but if you ask me at 6 am I will say I slept like a rock.
I have no scientific basis or evidence to back this up. It is more or less unpredictable although increasing the physical stress in my training or being dehydrated seems to be the only times I wake up in the night to notice it.
Have you ever had a mini fever?
The Hunger (and the Terror)
Motivation, drive, perseverance, pain, suffering, they all mean the same thing: watch out for the person that has a lot of it. The last two days, I have been on fire! In more ways than one, but the subject is running today. I really struggled after the Chicago Marathon this year. I felt after so many years of trying and working toward my goals I was not nearly as close as I need to be to achieve them. I like big and difficult goals, but let me tell you first hand, not achieving your goal, and knowing that you will not, is a hard pill to swallow. I have not admitted defeat yet, but simply wrestling with defeat brings your motivation into the mud.
I struggled to understand why I kept running and training. I have already run a couple good marathons. I have run good races on the track and the roads and the trails. The only person I have left to prove anything to is myself. Is all the toil worth it?
The last two days I went running, and wanted to do more when I finished, lift weights or run 200 meter sprints. Additionally I went indoor rock climbing Sunday in Madison for the first time in too long. I feel strong.
Motivation breeds motivation. Success breeds success. Who is the CEO? The guy that once was a VP, the same guy that became a project manager before her peers. Who wins the gold medal in the Olympics? The fastest guy in his training group, the guy who was fastest in high school, the kid who beat the others in middle school gym class. What kind of lawyers win billion dollar settlements? The kind who once won million dollar settlements, who convinced their high school friends he or she was right.
Motivation has two parts, what we are moving towards and what we are fleeing from. The ideal motivation involves the hunger pulling you forward and the terror pushing you on. I am once again hungry to see what can be accomplished, and terrified that I might not do everything I can to know…what is possible.
I struggled to understand why I kept running and training. I have already run a couple good marathons. I have run good races on the track and the roads and the trails. The only person I have left to prove anything to is myself. Is all the toil worth it?
The last two days I went running, and wanted to do more when I finished, lift weights or run 200 meter sprints. Additionally I went indoor rock climbing Sunday in Madison for the first time in too long. I feel strong.
Motivation breeds motivation. Success breeds success. Who is the CEO? The guy that once was a VP, the same guy that became a project manager before her peers. Who wins the gold medal in the Olympics? The fastest guy in his training group, the guy who was fastest in high school, the kid who beat the others in middle school gym class. What kind of lawyers win billion dollar settlements? The kind who once won million dollar settlements, who convinced their high school friends he or she was right.
Motivation has two parts, what we are moving towards and what we are fleeing from. The ideal motivation involves the hunger pulling you forward and the terror pushing you on. I am once again hungry to see what can be accomplished, and terrified that I might not do everything I can to know…what is possible.
Tuesday, December 3, 2013
The Danger of a Promotion
The danger of a promotion to a position within the same group is micromanagement. A person I know was in a position under a manager who had been promoted within the group and that manager was micromanaging. It's just not the most productive situation in the world.
About the only time I have been a supervisor has been in rock climbing and running situations. About all one can do is give the training (to the instructors or students or athletes) and then let them go. In climbing, while I was the director, I was also an instructor, and I found that being out of sight of the other instructors (on the other side of our climbing rock) allowed the other instructors to do good work. Yvon Chouinard would call that "management by absence". I think it is an effective method.
Runners on the other hand can be a little different. Students are typically young and as such can either be very competitive with each other or all not work hard enough. In other words, getting them to run the appropriate effort on any given day can be a little more difficult. Ultimately though it is up to each individual person as to what level of seriousness he or she wants to take the training, which takes the pressure off of the coaches desire to do the best we possibly can.
In short, if you manage, you have people who are getting paid to do a job, get out of the way and let them do their job. I must say, I suppose I am rather fortunate, I have never had a manager who I saw as micromanaging. I can not even think of one.
About the only time I have been a supervisor has been in rock climbing and running situations. About all one can do is give the training (to the instructors or students or athletes) and then let them go. In climbing, while I was the director, I was also an instructor, and I found that being out of sight of the other instructors (on the other side of our climbing rock) allowed the other instructors to do good work. Yvon Chouinard would call that "management by absence". I think it is an effective method.
Runners on the other hand can be a little different. Students are typically young and as such can either be very competitive with each other or all not work hard enough. In other words, getting them to run the appropriate effort on any given day can be a little more difficult. Ultimately though it is up to each individual person as to what level of seriousness he or she wants to take the training, which takes the pressure off of the coaches desire to do the best we possibly can.
In short, if you manage, you have people who are getting paid to do a job, get out of the way and let them do their job. I must say, I suppose I am rather fortunate, I have never had a manager who I saw as micromanaging. I can not even think of one.
Monday, December 2, 2013
I Live in Iowa: Week 134
Kind of a quiet week. I worked three days, with a large number of people out of the office. I was not able to get everything done I wanted to. You see, as a design engineer a large part of my job involves coming up with ideas, and they "selling" the ideas to all the affected parties to find the holes in the idea and either make it better, and acceptable to all or mostly all, or discard the idea. Honestly, most ideas never see the light of a welding spark.
I ran a whopping 54 miles! I ran all seven days of the week. No track or cross country practice this week, but I did run with a high schooler that I went to Africa with. I suppose every running partner has something different to offer. Here is a really interest running website I found and started reading through this week. Just when I think I have read it all, I haven't
I spent Wednesday night though Sunday up at my parents in Wisconsin. Thursday we had all four of my immediate family and my sister's boyfriend over. The next couple days I mostly slept 9-10 hours a day, talked with my parents, ran and watched maybe four movies on Netflix including the Andromeda Strain (1971) and Europa Report. Both solid science fiction movies stronger on the science than most of their genera. The interplanetary travel and orbital mechanics aspect of the Europa Report was particularly satisfying.
In short, it was really nice to see my family for so long and have a chance to rest. I even got on Facebook a couple times! On the other hand, not terribly productive from the little side projects I wanted to work on point of view. It was a nice week. God has really blessed me.
I ran a whopping 54 miles! I ran all seven days of the week. No track or cross country practice this week, but I did run with a high schooler that I went to Africa with. I suppose every running partner has something different to offer. Here is a really interest running website I found and started reading through this week. Just when I think I have read it all, I haven't
I spent Wednesday night though Sunday up at my parents in Wisconsin. Thursday we had all four of my immediate family and my sister's boyfriend over. The next couple days I mostly slept 9-10 hours a day, talked with my parents, ran and watched maybe four movies on Netflix including the Andromeda Strain (1971) and Europa Report. Both solid science fiction movies stronger on the science than most of their genera. The interplanetary travel and orbital mechanics aspect of the Europa Report was particularly satisfying.
In short, it was really nice to see my family for so long and have a chance to rest. I even got on Facebook a couple times! On the other hand, not terribly productive from the little side projects I wanted to work on point of view. It was a nice week. God has really blessed me.
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