In the working world, I did not get everything accomplished I wanted to. I did however find a new resource for software help, within the company, and that is proving to be a very successful relationship. I have been working on this one project for several weeks and I am not done with it. It is a simulation that seems to continually be more complex than I expected. It could easily be done by now had a more experienced person attacked the problem. Which means, I am beating myself up for not being awesome. I set high goals for myself spend a decent amount of time unhappy with my performance, because I fail to achieve those goals.
My running ground to a halt because I injured my hip. I believe it is a chronic muscle tear (knot) deep in my hamstring and hip. I found it, and I massaged it, and it feels broken up. That means that the knot split into several smaller knots and simply needs to be ground out a little finer and I will be as good as new. I ran a total of 43 miles for the week with 20 of that being on Sunday during my long run. It was a nice run at 6:56 pace, but the last 12 miles were with hip pain. 160 miles in nine days I am pretty sure is a nine day personal record. Yes, I know I should have stopped the run early and started resting and recovering. Unfortunately, I have a thick head sometimes and push to finish something after it is clear that the result is not worth the effort.
Socially I had a nice week. I went out to eat with a friend and I had coffee with a new friend. What does it take for me to commit to a friend? A friend who responds to my messages. I have had a number of people in the recent past not return my calls or messages. That being said I have not really checked my email in about three days or voicemail for that matter and I know there are people I want to reply to. I am being a hypocrite and a flake right now, great. Instead I'm blogging, some friend I am. Patience with me please I will call Monday or Tuesday.
I crested 40,000 words on my book. Seeing as how it is kind of a self-help book with a very specific audience, I brainstormed some speaking engagements. I haven't done anything about that yet, but once I work up the courage I'll approach the right people and show them awesomeness. Then once you get the ball rolling all you have to do is make sure that it goes the right direction.
I had a good week, really! Unfortunately, as I write this I feel useless. My project at work is going horrendously slow, my running consists of 3-4 miles per day, all the money that I "make" gets taken by people that want my money, I'm almost 25 and living at home, and my social network in Sheboygan County consists of four people near my age (one is gone every weekend, two I hardly know, and the other I hardly know plus she is pregnant). I am so happy to have all of the things that I have, like a job, the ability to run, any positive amount of money, parents with a house, and any friends, yet I naively expected more. Failing to meet expectations is failing to meet expectations no matter what the situation.
Life is, for lack of a better term, boring. The entire world is similar in that respect. Every neighborhood to somebody is their boring home neighborhood. Writing is post has made me feel better. Just writing all of this down in the last half hour has made me feel more successful and content. This is why I write this stuff down, because putting it in writing makes it a solvable or at least analyzable problem. Had I not spent the time to write this Sunday night I would have gone to bed unhappy. It is strange how my mood can change that fast. Simply thinking about the facts instead of the feelings has fostered a positive attitude in my head since I started writing tonight. Crazy!
Monday, February 28, 2011
Friday, February 25, 2011
I Am Excited to See YOU
I never really conceptualized this until post Pakistan. In fact I have only been able to clarify this thought using those words in the last few weeks. My social scene is a little lacking. I miss my friends.
Talking in person to a person I met a few years ago I was able to have a short conversation Friday night about life and what is happening. Despite the fact that he is at least 30 years older than I am I was excited to see someone I know. He was also excited to see me. That's also part of the allure. Often when I am excited to see someone that person is excited to see me. I can never remember saying it or hearing it exactly that way "I am excited to see you." More often we say things like "I'm glad you're here" or "I'm glad you came" or "It's nice to talk to you". We rarely tell people that we are excited to be in their presence. I suppose it is similar to love, but love is patient and persistent and forgiving. Excitement is temporary. Excitement will not always describe how we feel about seeing the people we love. In that respect excitement is unique.
Excitement is fun. For years I was taught to use descriptive words, not words like fun and exciting, but exciting gets the point across a little more clearly than passionately positive or enthusiastically motivated. You are unique. I want to spend time with you. I want to look you in the face, although I must admit when I talk I'll probably stare at the ground because I am shy. Obviously I can't spend time with everyone and make connections with everyone, but to my friends, I am excited to see YOU!
Talking in person to a person I met a few years ago I was able to have a short conversation Friday night about life and what is happening. Despite the fact that he is at least 30 years older than I am I was excited to see someone I know. He was also excited to see me. That's also part of the allure. Often when I am excited to see someone that person is excited to see me. I can never remember saying it or hearing it exactly that way "I am excited to see you." More often we say things like "I'm glad you're here" or "I'm glad you came" or "It's nice to talk to you". We rarely tell people that we are excited to be in their presence. I suppose it is similar to love, but love is patient and persistent and forgiving. Excitement is temporary. Excitement will not always describe how we feel about seeing the people we love. In that respect excitement is unique.
Excitement is fun. For years I was taught to use descriptive words, not words like fun and exciting, but exciting gets the point across a little more clearly than passionately positive or enthusiastically motivated. You are unique. I want to spend time with you. I want to look you in the face, although I must admit when I talk I'll probably stare at the ground because I am shy. Obviously I can't spend time with everyone and make connections with everyone, but to my friends, I am excited to see YOU!
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Loan Payoff Parties
One of the questions that people ask when someone gets that first "adult" job is what you plan to buy with all of your newfound money. Aside from three books on Amazon, a rain jacket from REI, and a new pair of Saucony Fastwitch shoes I haven't really bought anything. The nice thing is I make enough money in a day and a half to afford all of that stuff yet I am on my fifth week.
I have obviously thought about all the stuff I want, or would at least enjoy having. However, after thinking about all that I might want and all of the debt that I already have for my education and vacations and patents that I have decided that I will reward myself with something every time I pay off a loan. I have 11 loans. I hope to pay the first one off by the end of March. The advantage of paying off a loan is that then my required minimum monthly payments will be much lower. So I will be able to pay off subsequent loans at a faster rate than I pay off the first loans. As of now just the interest on my loans is about what I earn after taxes in a month. That's 1/12 of my year spent paying interest! What about food, insurance, housing, gas, and the principle on that loan!
There is no guarantee that I will actually have a party every time I pay off a loan, but I am sure there will be a few along the way. I mean what better thing to celebrate that not being in debt? Of course it will probably take an entire week of work to pay for the final get out of debt party...
I am massively in debt. I would rather have $100 and no debt than to have $10,000 with $50,000 in debt. Alas, I am learning from this experience. I will forever view debt in a different light. Not as an entirely terrible thing, but I will view it with restraint in terms of what it allows me to afford immediately.
I have obviously thought about all the stuff I want, or would at least enjoy having. However, after thinking about all that I might want and all of the debt that I already have for my education and vacations and patents that I have decided that I will reward myself with something every time I pay off a loan. I have 11 loans. I hope to pay the first one off by the end of March. The advantage of paying off a loan is that then my required minimum monthly payments will be much lower. So I will be able to pay off subsequent loans at a faster rate than I pay off the first loans. As of now just the interest on my loans is about what I earn after taxes in a month. That's 1/12 of my year spent paying interest! What about food, insurance, housing, gas, and the principle on that loan!
There is no guarantee that I will actually have a party every time I pay off a loan, but I am sure there will be a few along the way. I mean what better thing to celebrate that not being in debt? Of course it will probably take an entire week of work to pay for the final get out of debt party...
I am massively in debt. I would rather have $100 and no debt than to have $10,000 with $50,000 in debt. Alas, I am learning from this experience. I will forever view debt in a different light. Not as an entirely terrible thing, but I will view it with restraint in terms of what it allows me to afford immediately.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Hurt by My Ambition and Ignorance
I did it again. I forgot history and pushed ahead spurred on my ambition and I hurt myself. Yep, another running overuse injury. My right hip has some sort of problem. It hurts to run. It is going to require taking it easy and all sorts of less than extremely fun exercises in my basement and probably at a gym strengthening my weak non-dominant muscles.
Our bodies are full of muscles and many of then are relatively small and weak yet very important to maintain things like knee cap orientation. I am biomechanically very very durable. I have only broken one bone in my body ever, a sesamoid bone on my right foot. I am able to tolerate huge amounts of running mileage. Yet, despite the fact that my running stride is fairly nice, it is not perfect, nor will it ever be. A fraction of a degree out of alignment in the way that I push off of the ground will add up to thousands of pounds of imbalance over the course of several weeks. That will lead to some muscles getting stronger and other getting weaker. Eventually one or more of those weak muscles will break, in some manner of speaking, and I will be in pain or at least unable to run the way I want to.
I did not really do any weight lifting or core exercises for about seven weeks. During that time I averaged over 100 miles a week. In an effort to be "awesome" or achieve some other random goal I bumped up my mileage and ran 160 miles in nine days. It was too much and my body broke.
This is hardly a new learning experience. It is just another reminder of what I have already learned, and promptly ignored. I feel like an idiot. It takes half an hour a week to maintain strong weak muscles and despite running over 15 hours last week I didn't take the time to do 30 minutes of work to prevent this. Now I am reduced to a few miles a day fairly slow until I am strong enough to handle more. Awesome.
Our bodies are full of muscles and many of then are relatively small and weak yet very important to maintain things like knee cap orientation. I am biomechanically very very durable. I have only broken one bone in my body ever, a sesamoid bone on my right foot. I am able to tolerate huge amounts of running mileage. Yet, despite the fact that my running stride is fairly nice, it is not perfect, nor will it ever be. A fraction of a degree out of alignment in the way that I push off of the ground will add up to thousands of pounds of imbalance over the course of several weeks. That will lead to some muscles getting stronger and other getting weaker. Eventually one or more of those weak muscles will break, in some manner of speaking, and I will be in pain or at least unable to run the way I want to.
I did not really do any weight lifting or core exercises for about seven weeks. During that time I averaged over 100 miles a week. In an effort to be "awesome" or achieve some other random goal I bumped up my mileage and ran 160 miles in nine days. It was too much and my body broke.
This is hardly a new learning experience. It is just another reminder of what I have already learned, and promptly ignored. I feel like an idiot. It takes half an hour a week to maintain strong weak muscles and despite running over 15 hours last week I didn't take the time to do 30 minutes of work to prevent this. Now I am reduced to a few miles a day fairly slow until I am strong enough to handle more. Awesome.
Monday, February 21, 2011
The Life of a Contract Engineer: Week 4
I worked my 40 hours this week. I enjoy going to work so much. I work with a good group of people. That makes a huge difference. I am learning new software and doing computer simulations, and I like that stuff and I'm half decent at it.
Communication at work can be interesting sometimes. I had a problem this week and the fifth person I went to had the time and was actually able to solve it in 30 seconds despite the fact that we spent five minutes debating what the actual problem was. That was after approaching the first four people who could not help. Slightly amusing and rather frustrating. Educational though, it is nice to be reminded once again how critical communication is.
One of my friends works at Intel, or perhaps it's IBM. Anyway, one of the things he likes about his job is that he can point to the little icon on the front of the computer and tell a six year old that he helps make that. My job is fairly similar. I ask if people have seen those car commercials where they have a computer model they crash. Then I tell then that I do the same thing, except on giant rectangular pieces of sheet metal. Not quite as interesting but still exciting. I get to sit at a desk and make colorful pictures all day long and socialize with a nice group of people. Colorful pictures, nice people, an engineering salary, what more could I want?
I ran 121 miles this week. That's the most I have run in one week in more than a year. I've only had four weeks in my life that I ran 120 miles or more. Included in that total was a 12.1 mile tempo at 5:58 pace, the only tempo longer than 10 miles I have ever done. I also did some short hill repeats and the usual 20 mile long run. I have also started doubling on long run days and I like that trend. On the very negative side the week ended with a possible piriformis problem or glute problem or chronic muscle tear on my right side.
Why am I possibly injured? Running at a high level requires a lot of running, to run a lot you have to do all sorts of additional work to strengthen your weaker muscles. I have been neglecting those exercises the last few weeks. Actually I have been neglecting those exercises most of 2011. I deserve to get injured. I also have not had a massage in over a year! To be a good runner you have to do A, B, and C. I am decent at doing A (running a whole lot), but I can be lazy about the B (supplementary work) and C (rest and recovery) all too often.
In other news I passed 30,000 words (70 pages in MS Word single spaced) on my book about unemployment. I also bought a domain name and started another website. I am still working on the details, but I will probably unveil it in the next 10 days. I want to do some work on Janzen Gear before I flip modes and start another tribe.
I also had a rather interesting social experience Friday night. The local FFA (Future Farmers of America) puts on a wine and cheese show every year and I went with my parents this year. I tried all sorts of wines and cheese, and I talked to a few people that were at least a little excited to talk to me. I'm going to blog about excitement to see people in the upcoming weeks. Anyway, Sargento and Sartori and a few other cheese factories are within five miles of my house and I have to say that Sartori's Aged Asiago cheese is amazing. I guess it is so rare they don't even have it on their website.
I had a good week. I hope you had a good week too. It was a week were I am not sure I "went anywhere" but I progressed in several areas that I think I might be close to making a breakthrough. Life is good.
Communication at work can be interesting sometimes. I had a problem this week and the fifth person I went to had the time and was actually able to solve it in 30 seconds despite the fact that we spent five minutes debating what the actual problem was. That was after approaching the first four people who could not help. Slightly amusing and rather frustrating. Educational though, it is nice to be reminded once again how critical communication is.
One of my friends works at Intel, or perhaps it's IBM. Anyway, one of the things he likes about his job is that he can point to the little icon on the front of the computer and tell a six year old that he helps make that. My job is fairly similar. I ask if people have seen those car commercials where they have a computer model they crash. Then I tell then that I do the same thing, except on giant rectangular pieces of sheet metal. Not quite as interesting but still exciting. I get to sit at a desk and make colorful pictures all day long and socialize with a nice group of people. Colorful pictures, nice people, an engineering salary, what more could I want?
I ran 121 miles this week. That's the most I have run in one week in more than a year. I've only had four weeks in my life that I ran 120 miles or more. Included in that total was a 12.1 mile tempo at 5:58 pace, the only tempo longer than 10 miles I have ever done. I also did some short hill repeats and the usual 20 mile long run. I have also started doubling on long run days and I like that trend. On the very negative side the week ended with a possible piriformis problem or glute problem or chronic muscle tear on my right side.
Why am I possibly injured? Running at a high level requires a lot of running, to run a lot you have to do all sorts of additional work to strengthen your weaker muscles. I have been neglecting those exercises the last few weeks. Actually I have been neglecting those exercises most of 2011. I deserve to get injured. I also have not had a massage in over a year! To be a good runner you have to do A, B, and C. I am decent at doing A (running a whole lot), but I can be lazy about the B (supplementary work) and C (rest and recovery) all too often.
In other news I passed 30,000 words (70 pages in MS Word single spaced) on my book about unemployment. I also bought a domain name and started another website. I am still working on the details, but I will probably unveil it in the next 10 days. I want to do some work on Janzen Gear before I flip modes and start another tribe.
I also had a rather interesting social experience Friday night. The local FFA (Future Farmers of America) puts on a wine and cheese show every year and I went with my parents this year. I tried all sorts of wines and cheese, and I talked to a few people that were at least a little excited to talk to me. I'm going to blog about excitement to see people in the upcoming weeks. Anyway, Sargento and Sartori and a few other cheese factories are within five miles of my house and I have to say that Sartori's Aged Asiago cheese is amazing. I guess it is so rare they don't even have it on their website.
I had a good week. I hope you had a good week too. It was a week were I am not sure I "went anywhere" but I progressed in several areas that I think I might be close to making a breakthrough. Life is good.
Friday, February 18, 2011
Finding Your Motivation
What do I think about those 12+ hours a week when I am out running alone? Part of it is finding my motivation. This article may be somewhat haphazardly organized because I thought of most of it while I was running.
Some people get their motivation from "things". From physical things such as owning a really nice car, a house, land, a big bank account, a "man's" room (like a garage or shed or something), and other physical things. Some people get their motivation from the experience. I am in the motivated-by-experience group. I can not think of any "thing" that I would like to have so much that I would quit working for any of my goals. No matter how much you pay me or what I have, if I can't run at the olympic marathon trials or work toward any of my other running goals I won't be satisfied in that area. There will come a day when I am physically getting slower and I have thought about the possibility that I do not accomplish any of my three running goals. The truth is, if my running ended today, I would be fine with that. I have done so much that I consider that aspect of my life a success already. However, since I can still run there is quite a bit more I want to do.
This relates to the question, "why do people do what they do?" "Why?" is a terrible question. There is nothing as ambiguous as the question, "why?"A better way to investigate someone's motivation is a question like, "What is the purpose of that?" or "How is that process and/or that accomplishment going to make your life better?" or "When do you plan to do that?" or "Who is involved in that plan of yours?"
I think I am a little different than most people. I know what I want to do. I wrote down a list and it was in the single digits of things I really want to do. I think most people have trouble condensing their life ambitions into a short list or even knowing what their life ambitions are!
Another way to look at the motivation question is to ask yourself, "who do I want to be?" That verb, be or is, has an enormous amount of power. I am _____. He is _____. She will be _____.
I'm not sure this post was helpful in any way, but I spend a lot of time running thinking about myself and things that motivate me, and I am happy to share that with others. As for the question you might be thinking, because I sure thought this, "why does he spend so much time thinking about himself?" Simple, after years of being single I don't have a girlfriend to think about, my relationships are generally pretty simple, I don't listen to music when I run, and it is a great time to dream of greatness as I am out there chasing greatness.
Some people get their motivation from "things". From physical things such as owning a really nice car, a house, land, a big bank account, a "man's" room (like a garage or shed or something), and other physical things. Some people get their motivation from the experience. I am in the motivated-by-experience group. I can not think of any "thing" that I would like to have so much that I would quit working for any of my goals. No matter how much you pay me or what I have, if I can't run at the olympic marathon trials or work toward any of my other running goals I won't be satisfied in that area. There will come a day when I am physically getting slower and I have thought about the possibility that I do not accomplish any of my three running goals. The truth is, if my running ended today, I would be fine with that. I have done so much that I consider that aspect of my life a success already. However, since I can still run there is quite a bit more I want to do.
This relates to the question, "why do people do what they do?" "Why?" is a terrible question. There is nothing as ambiguous as the question, "why?"A better way to investigate someone's motivation is a question like, "What is the purpose of that?" or "How is that process and/or that accomplishment going to make your life better?" or "When do you plan to do that?" or "Who is involved in that plan of yours?"
I think I am a little different than most people. I know what I want to do. I wrote down a list and it was in the single digits of things I really want to do. I think most people have trouble condensing their life ambitions into a short list or even knowing what their life ambitions are!
Another way to look at the motivation question is to ask yourself, "who do I want to be?" That verb, be or is, has an enormous amount of power. I am _____. He is _____. She will be _____.
I'm not sure this post was helpful in any way, but I spend a lot of time running thinking about myself and things that motivate me, and I am happy to share that with others. As for the question you might be thinking, because I sure thought this, "why does he spend so much time thinking about himself?" Simple, after years of being single I don't have a girlfriend to think about, my relationships are generally pretty simple, I don't listen to music when I run, and it is a great time to dream of greatness as I am out there chasing greatness.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Financially Unfair
Life is financially unfair because the capital gains tax is so low and income taxes and social security taxes are relatively high. Warren buffet pays less than 18% in tax while I pay over a quarter. Not only is income tax where those without investments are hurt, and let's be serious no one has investments unless they make a decent living, but other taxes like gas and food taxes require a greater portion of poorer people's money.
For example, regarding food and gas take three people: A makes $2,000 a month, B makes $5,000 a month and C makes $20,000 a month. Each one drives the same number of miles each month but their cars are not as fuel efficient as each other's. A gets 30 mpg, B gets 25 mpg, and C gets 15 mpg. Assuming each one drives 1000 miles per month with a national gas tax rate of $0.184 per gallon and Wisconsin tax rate of $0.321 per gallon for a total of $0.505 per gallon then A pays $16.83, B pays $20.20, C pays $33.67 in gas tax each month. Percentage wise A pays 0.84%, B pays 0.40%, and C pays 0.17% of their monthly income to the gas tax.
Okay, I know there are problems with that example. No one has to drive. I am not figuring in the price of the gas or the car or any other factors. The point is that at the end of the month person A after paying for taxes, social security, gas, gas tax, food, food tax, electricity, gas, and water, is out a much larger percentage of the initial income than person B or C while having a more fuel efficient car.
You can only eat so much food. You can only drive so many miles. You can only take so many showers. As those daily costs become a smaller percentage of income increasing income tax rates do not really keep up. Even if they do keep the overall tax rate the same once a person becomes affluent enough and starts to make significant money from investments the capital gains tax takes over and the overall tax rate goes down again.
What does this mean? It means that you can make a whole lot of money. It also means that it is harder to save money when you start from the financial bottom. What advice do I have? Get 2-3 degrees in investment banking and go live on Manhattan for a decade.
For example, regarding food and gas take three people: A makes $2,000 a month, B makes $5,000 a month and C makes $20,000 a month. Each one drives the same number of miles each month but their cars are not as fuel efficient as each other's. A gets 30 mpg, B gets 25 mpg, and C gets 15 mpg. Assuming each one drives 1000 miles per month with a national gas tax rate of $0.184 per gallon and Wisconsin tax rate of $0.321 per gallon for a total of $0.505 per gallon then A pays $16.83, B pays $20.20, C pays $33.67 in gas tax each month. Percentage wise A pays 0.84%, B pays 0.40%, and C pays 0.17% of their monthly income to the gas tax.
Okay, I know there are problems with that example. No one has to drive. I am not figuring in the price of the gas or the car or any other factors. The point is that at the end of the month person A after paying for taxes, social security, gas, gas tax, food, food tax, electricity, gas, and water, is out a much larger percentage of the initial income than person B or C while having a more fuel efficient car.
You can only eat so much food. You can only drive so many miles. You can only take so many showers. As those daily costs become a smaller percentage of income increasing income tax rates do not really keep up. Even if they do keep the overall tax rate the same once a person becomes affluent enough and starts to make significant money from investments the capital gains tax takes over and the overall tax rate goes down again.
What does this mean? It means that you can make a whole lot of money. It also means that it is harder to save money when you start from the financial bottom. What advice do I have? Get 2-3 degrees in investment banking and go live on Manhattan for a decade.
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