Tuesday, March 11, 2014
A Good Picture
The evening of our first full day in Rwanda last July we took this picture. I knew when we were taking it that this was in some ways the picture we came for. It tells a story about my parents and I and our friends more detailed than pages of writing.
Monday, March 10, 2014
I Live in Iowa: Week 148
This week in one word: exasperating. Yeah, I just like gave and gave and went hard as much as I could and I'm spent. My left knee has an MCL grade one sprain, I should be fine later this week, but I'm not yet. Work is… work. I mean it's not called play, because it's not play. It is stressful. At least, I make it stressful because I am new, and we are at a point were a lot of our deadlines are due. Those two things are stressful. That being said, I pushed the program 0.025% forward Friday! It is kind of a joke, but not entirely, I did actually push one metric, the big metric 0.025%.
I do too much. People are constantly asking me, "Are you getting excited for Mt. Everest?" And I respond, "Yeah, but I'm so busy that I don't have much time to think about it." Oh yeah, I'm leaving for the tallest mountain in the world in a few weeks. Yet I'm just worried about getting through two meetings on Monday and pushing more stuff through the paperwork. Then making it to two meetings after work Monday. Hopefully I can squeeze in a run during the day sometime too, because I've only been running about 3 miles every other day the last five days or so. Hardly ideal training.
I'm looking forward to Everest because it will actually be a vacation. I mean, honestly, I will use skills and techniques intensely, and it will demand an extraordinary amount of patience and concentration, but it's really only one task, walking on steep ground with crampons and huge boots in really cold weather. No other stuff to distract me and not multiple groups to go to meetings with everyday. It is simple, climb the mountain.
Not the most specific description of the week, but a good one. Sometimes the emotional description, not the factual one is the makes the difference to people. Do you care that someone reads your problems? Or do you care that someone looks you in the eyes and feels your pain, even without saying a word? Obviously it's the second. The point being, I'm trying to let you look me in the eye.
I do too much. People are constantly asking me, "Are you getting excited for Mt. Everest?" And I respond, "Yeah, but I'm so busy that I don't have much time to think about it." Oh yeah, I'm leaving for the tallest mountain in the world in a few weeks. Yet I'm just worried about getting through two meetings on Monday and pushing more stuff through the paperwork. Then making it to two meetings after work Monday. Hopefully I can squeeze in a run during the day sometime too, because I've only been running about 3 miles every other day the last five days or so. Hardly ideal training.
I'm looking forward to Everest because it will actually be a vacation. I mean, honestly, I will use skills and techniques intensely, and it will demand an extraordinary amount of patience and concentration, but it's really only one task, walking on steep ground with crampons and huge boots in really cold weather. No other stuff to distract me and not multiple groups to go to meetings with everyday. It is simple, climb the mountain.
Not the most specific description of the week, but a good one. Sometimes the emotional description, not the factual one is the makes the difference to people. Do you care that someone reads your problems? Or do you care that someone looks you in the eyes and feels your pain, even without saying a word? Obviously it's the second. The point being, I'm trying to let you look me in the eye.
Friday, March 7, 2014
Yet Another Setback (MCL Injury)
The best diagnosis I have had for my knee yet is a grade one MCL sprain. I have really only approached one person for a diagnosis. It started hurting slightly a week and a half ago after my 20 miles and four hours of skiing day. I of course ran on it until a 17.6 mile run on very slippery roads made it worse. Who would have guessed?
I feel like an idiot most of the time when I get injured. I mean, signs clearly point to something in my body not working right, and I push it to the end of the workout, maybe even multiple days. I know, I know! That an ounce of prevention is better than the pound of cure that will have to be applied later, yet I struggle to take that first step and admit it is more than just a bruise. Soreness and discomfort are part of the sport. I have a friend who just had hip surgery on his labrum in his hip. Apparently it was like that for 10-20 years. A fantastic runner, reduced to not even going to his desk job, and using crutches for a problem that might have been diagnosed 10 years ago. We work to deal with the pain. We aim to ignore the senses in our body that say "stop!"
I am quite confident I will be fine in a month when I set off for Everest, but it's not the setback I wanted at this point. I had plans of some long, big back to back 6+ hour workout days of running and hiking. Maybe they will still happen, but putting in 30-40 miles two days in a row sounds a little hard right now when a two mile run is painful and even walking a mile involves some pain.
In a perfect world, of soft trails and dry pavement, running would not stress the side of your knee. When a person runs, of the maybe 200 Newtons per step, or 200 to 300 Newtons (an even better article) that go into horizontal forces, from my experience maybe 1-10 Newtons when running in a strait line are lateral forces. In other words, between 0.5% and 5% of the force that your left foot puts into horizontal motion probably pushes your body to the right. However, at 180-190 steps per minute it is only about 0.30 seconds before your right foot pushes back the other direction. The better the runner and more efficient and more experienced generally the lower the percentage of horizontal force is put into lateral motion. However, vertical forces are 5-10 times higher than horizontal forces (5 times at faster speeds and 10 times as slower speeds). Thus, if my left foot ends up just 2 centimeters farther to the left as I push off due to sliding on snow and ice that 1 or 2 Newtons of horizontal energy going into my left leg gets a portion of the 2,000 Newtons of formerly horizontal force that amounts to roughly 40 Newtons. Alone, 40 Newtons won't break my MCL. However, put in half a dozen skiing falls the week before, some asymmetrical running around an indoor track, and a 17.6 mile run on very snowy and icy conditions, and I have significant pain.
Let's say that I encountered that extra 40 N on a meager 10% of the steps I took. At 180 steps per minute and a 132 minute run that's 1188 sliding steps with my left foot adding a whopping 47,520 N into my MCL, which it would not normally encounter. How much is 47,520 N? That is about 10,682 lbs. or close to 10 lbs. more per step into a ligament that was not meant to take that kind of damage.
Our bodies are not invincible, but we can tolerate a lot of damage. I probably put roughly five tons of added stress into a little fiber in my body and I still ran four miles the next day.
I'm a believer in fate and purpose, even though that purpose often makes utterly no sense to us whatsoever! This happening to me now, it's a lesson I need to learn about strengthening myself laterally. It's a lesson about listening to my body when it is saying something is wrong. Why I have to learn (or rather relearn) this lesson so close to one of the greatest physical challenges of my life is beyond me. I am humbled again.
I feel like an idiot most of the time when I get injured. I mean, signs clearly point to something in my body not working right, and I push it to the end of the workout, maybe even multiple days. I know, I know! That an ounce of prevention is better than the pound of cure that will have to be applied later, yet I struggle to take that first step and admit it is more than just a bruise. Soreness and discomfort are part of the sport. I have a friend who just had hip surgery on his labrum in his hip. Apparently it was like that for 10-20 years. A fantastic runner, reduced to not even going to his desk job, and using crutches for a problem that might have been diagnosed 10 years ago. We work to deal with the pain. We aim to ignore the senses in our body that say "stop!"
I am quite confident I will be fine in a month when I set off for Everest, but it's not the setback I wanted at this point. I had plans of some long, big back to back 6+ hour workout days of running and hiking. Maybe they will still happen, but putting in 30-40 miles two days in a row sounds a little hard right now when a two mile run is painful and even walking a mile involves some pain.
In a perfect world, of soft trails and dry pavement, running would not stress the side of your knee. When a person runs, of the maybe 200 Newtons per step, or 200 to 300 Newtons (an even better article) that go into horizontal forces, from my experience maybe 1-10 Newtons when running in a strait line are lateral forces. In other words, between 0.5% and 5% of the force that your left foot puts into horizontal motion probably pushes your body to the right. However, at 180-190 steps per minute it is only about 0.30 seconds before your right foot pushes back the other direction. The better the runner and more efficient and more experienced generally the lower the percentage of horizontal force is put into lateral motion. However, vertical forces are 5-10 times higher than horizontal forces (5 times at faster speeds and 10 times as slower speeds). Thus, if my left foot ends up just 2 centimeters farther to the left as I push off due to sliding on snow and ice that 1 or 2 Newtons of horizontal energy going into my left leg gets a portion of the 2,000 Newtons of formerly horizontal force that amounts to roughly 40 Newtons. Alone, 40 Newtons won't break my MCL. However, put in half a dozen skiing falls the week before, some asymmetrical running around an indoor track, and a 17.6 mile run on very snowy and icy conditions, and I have significant pain.
Let's say that I encountered that extra 40 N on a meager 10% of the steps I took. At 180 steps per minute and a 132 minute run that's 1188 sliding steps with my left foot adding a whopping 47,520 N into my MCL, which it would not normally encounter. How much is 47,520 N? That is about 10,682 lbs. or close to 10 lbs. more per step into a ligament that was not meant to take that kind of damage.
Our bodies are not invincible, but we can tolerate a lot of damage. I probably put roughly five tons of added stress into a little fiber in my body and I still ran four miles the next day.
I'm a believer in fate and purpose, even though that purpose often makes utterly no sense to us whatsoever! This happening to me now, it's a lesson I need to learn about strengthening myself laterally. It's a lesson about listening to my body when it is saying something is wrong. Why I have to learn (or rather relearn) this lesson so close to one of the greatest physical challenges of my life is beyond me. I am humbled again.
Thursday, March 6, 2014
Mt. Everest is a Warm-Up
The number of people that are astounded I am about to go climb the world's highest peak, ideally without bottled oxygen, just keeps growing. Every time someone is amazed, I lose a little hope in the imagination of humans. About 180 people have climbed Mt. Everest without use supplemental oxygen. It's been done. It's where the sub 4 minute mile was in the 1970s, or a 2:06:38 marathon is today, or being CEO of a Fortune 25 company. Sure it is unique, I have never done it, it will be hard, but there is a somewhat established process for doing it.
Yes, if this mountain is all that I am ever able to do, it will still be a great experience. Yes, this is the tallest mountain on the planet, when it comes to altitude, there is no higher, it is an end in that respect. Yet, I am 27, there are dozens of things I can imagine that have not even been attempted.
I do not know why I think this way. I feel that if I do not push the limits of what has been done I am wasting my talents. Yes, this is a risk, financially, physically, mentally, etc., but I fully expect to take greater risks in the future in several of those areas. I imagine projects where the risks are not known, because no one has ever attempted them. What was the risk of Apollo 1? What was the risk of the Steve Wozniak quiting his job to work on Apple? Where would we be if these things had not happened?
There is a list, of possible projects I am interested in after Mt. Everest. I don't like lists because they have a tendency to get people killed trying to finish the list. That being said, I see many opportunities to build on the Everest experience starting in June this year. We can learn persistence, patience, resource management, development, through seemingly unrelated activites. Mt. Everest is a long term goal involving a wide skill set. Every long term goal involves a wide skill set.
Yes, if this mountain is all that I am ever able to do, it will still be a great experience. Yes, this is the tallest mountain on the planet, when it comes to altitude, there is no higher, it is an end in that respect. Yet, I am 27, there are dozens of things I can imagine that have not even been attempted.
I do not know why I think this way. I feel that if I do not push the limits of what has been done I am wasting my talents. Yes, this is a risk, financially, physically, mentally, etc., but I fully expect to take greater risks in the future in several of those areas. I imagine projects where the risks are not known, because no one has ever attempted them. What was the risk of Apollo 1? What was the risk of the Steve Wozniak quiting his job to work on Apple? Where would we be if these things had not happened?
There is a list, of possible projects I am interested in after Mt. Everest. I don't like lists because they have a tendency to get people killed trying to finish the list. That being said, I see many opportunities to build on the Everest experience starting in June this year. We can learn persistence, patience, resource management, development, through seemingly unrelated activites. Mt. Everest is a long term goal involving a wide skill set. Every long term goal involves a wide skill set.
Wednesday, March 5, 2014
Does Anybody Care About The Less Fortunate?
I want to start a charity. Sustainable South Sudan, because starting a country is hard. Why help some far away land that is constantly at war when there is so much need at home?
- South Sudan probably is the poorest place in the world. It is almost the only place in the world the Guinea Worm still exists.
- Having been to Rwanda I know how poor East-central Africa is. One dollar can feed a starving family for a day and ten dollars a family for a week. Sending a kid to the YMCA for six hours a week just doesn't seem like as good of a deal.
- No one else wants to go to a "war zone". I'm not saying I'm going anytime soon, but the point is the most vulnerable people are the ones getting the least help. Planes in and out of Ethiopia, Kenya, Rwanda, and Uganda are full of "do-gooders", high school and college kids and their parents on mission trips, Peace Corps volunteers, and some generous tourists. A country in conflict with no infrastructure has none of that support.
What do I want to do there?
- Agriculture! If people can't eat, they can't do much of anything. Wether it is buying hoes, seeds, or something I don't understand, sustainable means eating on a regular basis.
- Education! I feel that education is the key to so much in life. It is the opening to more productive agriculture, reading and writing, businesses, commerce, and an economy.
That's where my head is. As I look around, maybe the right people to help get this off the ground are in plain sight, but I don't see them. I just see new cars, home renovations, and luxurious lifestyles. I'll be honest, I don't even really want to start a charity. I would rather just donate money to one that already exists. Alas, to the best of my knowledge there is nothing like what I am seeking.
Where am I supposed to find the time for this? Can someone else take this mission? You don't have to answer, the answer is no. If I don't do it, no one else will. I would love to be surprised, but I'm not getting my hopes up. I don't know. I have everything but time. People will die because I don't do anything; probably kids under age five. I need help. I can't do this alone. If I save one starfish, thousands more will still die. To be honest, life is happier not knowing some things.
Tuesday, March 4, 2014
Death Defying, and Talking to Most People
Going from where I left off yesterday, how does a person take on a task with a significant possibility of death, loss of limb, mental incapacitation, and manage to relate to most of the people in the world? I watch documentaries on astronauts for motivation. Every guy in Apollo would have volunteered to be in Apollo 1 at the time. None of the astronauts on Challenger said, "we should wait for warmer weather" in 1986 before launching and none of the astronauts on Columbia said "we should take pictures of the heat shield with the possibility of repair". Mountain climbers die in ones and twos and sometimes larger groups, but generally, everyone accepts that they are somewhat crazy. Same for astronauts.
Most people don't have the type of goals that involve death so vividly. That's probably for the continuance of society. I mean it's probably not the most healthy to do activities like BASE jumping. Yet, there exists a seriousness to these activities, a professionalism, that is quite engaging. When you could die, you are going to make sure you have your mittens, headlamp, and harness in working order. That's not the main reason we do these things, we do them because it is truly challenging, because we do not know if we will be able to do them. They are a strong test of us. What is possible? Anything, but maybe not for us.
There is a quote by Martin Luther King Jr. I really like: "Like anybody, I would like to have a long life. Longevity has its place. But I'm not concerned about that now. I just want to do God's will." That is just so good! What does Everest have to do with God's will? Well, if I die the one thing I want people to know about the entirety of my life and my work is: Jesus loves me. That's it, three words uttered in a song by elementary school kids around the world. If I don't die, well, that's really the one thing I want people to know anyway I suppose. In the context of everything, nothing else matters.
Writing, and saying, things like this are one thing, people do it all the time. But MLK, he did it. I mean, the reverend really lived it. But we live lives so removed from seriousness. I struggle to tell a woman I am attracted to her. I fail to really put effort into correcting my bad habits. Yet, there is a distinct possibility I don't live to June. The things that are important in the context of the next few months of my life, are just not important to most people, and certainly not with the immediacy they are important to me.
Frankly, I just want to pour out all of this to a person. Some of it ends up on my blog, some my parents has to listen to, and still other aspects my friends have to listen. It's just such a vulnerability, worth crying about. My friends and family that read this, I just don't know. I mean, thank GOD for all of his grace and blessings! I'm 27 years old and I have had three solid opportunities to die, just while climbing, not counting the electrocution, or other domestic occurrence. My life, insignificant. My work, insignificant. My impact on others… well I can count one person who I know I made a difference in her life, and if that is the only one, well at least there was one.
Most people don't have the type of goals that involve death so vividly. That's probably for the continuance of society. I mean it's probably not the most healthy to do activities like BASE jumping. Yet, there exists a seriousness to these activities, a professionalism, that is quite engaging. When you could die, you are going to make sure you have your mittens, headlamp, and harness in working order. That's not the main reason we do these things, we do them because it is truly challenging, because we do not know if we will be able to do them. They are a strong test of us. What is possible? Anything, but maybe not for us.
There is a quote by Martin Luther King Jr. I really like: "Like anybody, I would like to have a long life. Longevity has its place. But I'm not concerned about that now. I just want to do God's will." That is just so good! What does Everest have to do with God's will? Well, if I die the one thing I want people to know about the entirety of my life and my work is: Jesus loves me. That's it, three words uttered in a song by elementary school kids around the world. If I don't die, well, that's really the one thing I want people to know anyway I suppose. In the context of everything, nothing else matters.
Writing, and saying, things like this are one thing, people do it all the time. But MLK, he did it. I mean, the reverend really lived it. But we live lives so removed from seriousness. I struggle to tell a woman I am attracted to her. I fail to really put effort into correcting my bad habits. Yet, there is a distinct possibility I don't live to June. The things that are important in the context of the next few months of my life, are just not important to most people, and certainly not with the immediacy they are important to me.
Frankly, I just want to pour out all of this to a person. Some of it ends up on my blog, some my parents has to listen to, and still other aspects my friends have to listen. It's just such a vulnerability, worth crying about. My friends and family that read this, I just don't know. I mean, thank GOD for all of his grace and blessings! I'm 27 years old and I have had three solid opportunities to die, just while climbing, not counting the electrocution, or other domestic occurrence. My life, insignificant. My work, insignificant. My impact on others… well I can count one person who I know I made a difference in her life, and if that is the only one, well at least there was one.
Monday, March 3, 2014
I Live in Iowa: Week 147
This was the kind of week that defines me. No, nothing particularly life changing or me at the top of my game happened, but it was another week grinding out making it happen. Getting stuff done is what I do, even though it isn't always great, progress goes forward.
I worked a lot. Perhaps not a ton of hours, but I've been working full days than going in to the office a little on Sunday. I would take my laptop home and do work, but I don't have the Internet, which kinds of limits my ability to use a laptop connected to a server at home. As we near my departure date for Asia, it becomes more critical that I get as much done as I possibly can.
In running I ran a small 47 miles. Between work (taking the energy out of me), coaching athletes tapering, and some left knee pain, a few weeks after my right knee pain clears up, I didn't run so much. However, I did run a really nice interval workout of 4:56 1600 m, 3:00 k, 3:01 k, and a 66 400 all with 600 m rest in 3 min after each. Not a blow it out of the water workout, but always nice to run those kind of paces in practice.
This is a perfect lead in to what a phenomenal week of coaching I had! After helping coach a sophomore to a mile and 5k records earlier in the season our team had school records in the women's Distance Medley Relay (DMR) by 34 seconds, women's 4x800 by 23 seconds, women's 4x400 by 2 s, men's 4x800 by 6 s, and we missed the men's DMR by 3 s! Not to mention we had great performances in many of the individual events as well. After more more than two and a half years, we have the kind of meet that we set out to have. Oh, we have plenty of room to develop, but it's a good place to be. I am blessed to be part of this development.
In Everest news I bought a jacket, another GPS and a satellite tracking and texting device. Nothing I necessarily need, but as I have mentioned before, with an expedition pending, money loses some of it's value. What is the value of having the perfect hooded soft-shell jacket on a snowy windy day at 21,000 ft? Well over the $120 I paid for my new one. What is the value of sending a text message from the South Col? It must be several dollars, perhaps dozens of dollars, maybe over $100? I'm also still waiting on my boots.
On the other hand, as Everest nears, I feel more disconnected, not in a good way. In other words, how do I relate to people? I didn't have this feeling leading up to and after Pakistan, but maybe I was too immature to understand it. Most people don't go to a place where if things go well, there is a higher chance of dying. And… I am afraid. Before Pakistan I was too inexperienced to have this fear. The reality of the number, the volume, of people that die, lose fingers and toes to frostbite, brain damage is just tremendous. On the one hand, I have this superiority complex that I am above many of those problems because of my experience and desire to monitor myself, but two weeks ago Chad Kellogg died. In many respects, his accomplishments as a climber may parallel my own. I don't live in a vacuum. The statistics, by definition, apply to me. Mentally, one can approach this sort of thing, but the mental fortitude necessary is so far removed from 21st century life, that I struggle to tell others about it. This is getting long, how about more on this tomorrow.
I worked a lot. Perhaps not a ton of hours, but I've been working full days than going in to the office a little on Sunday. I would take my laptop home and do work, but I don't have the Internet, which kinds of limits my ability to use a laptop connected to a server at home. As we near my departure date for Asia, it becomes more critical that I get as much done as I possibly can.
In running I ran a small 47 miles. Between work (taking the energy out of me), coaching athletes tapering, and some left knee pain, a few weeks after my right knee pain clears up, I didn't run so much. However, I did run a really nice interval workout of 4:56 1600 m, 3:00 k, 3:01 k, and a 66 400 all with 600 m rest in 3 min after each. Not a blow it out of the water workout, but always nice to run those kind of paces in practice.
This is a perfect lead in to what a phenomenal week of coaching I had! After helping coach a sophomore to a mile and 5k records earlier in the season our team had school records in the women's Distance Medley Relay (DMR) by 34 seconds, women's 4x800 by 23 seconds, women's 4x400 by 2 s, men's 4x800 by 6 s, and we missed the men's DMR by 3 s! Not to mention we had great performances in many of the individual events as well. After more more than two and a half years, we have the kind of meet that we set out to have. Oh, we have plenty of room to develop, but it's a good place to be. I am blessed to be part of this development.
In Everest news I bought a jacket, another GPS and a satellite tracking and texting device. Nothing I necessarily need, but as I have mentioned before, with an expedition pending, money loses some of it's value. What is the value of having the perfect hooded soft-shell jacket on a snowy windy day at 21,000 ft? Well over the $120 I paid for my new one. What is the value of sending a text message from the South Col? It must be several dollars, perhaps dozens of dollars, maybe over $100? I'm also still waiting on my boots.
On the other hand, as Everest nears, I feel more disconnected, not in a good way. In other words, how do I relate to people? I didn't have this feeling leading up to and after Pakistan, but maybe I was too immature to understand it. Most people don't go to a place where if things go well, there is a higher chance of dying. And… I am afraid. Before Pakistan I was too inexperienced to have this fear. The reality of the number, the volume, of people that die, lose fingers and toes to frostbite, brain damage is just tremendous. On the one hand, I have this superiority complex that I am above many of those problems because of my experience and desire to monitor myself, but two weeks ago Chad Kellogg died. In many respects, his accomplishments as a climber may parallel my own. I don't live in a vacuum. The statistics, by definition, apply to me. Mentally, one can approach this sort of thing, but the mental fortitude necessary is so far removed from 21st century life, that I struggle to tell others about it. This is getting long, how about more on this tomorrow.
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