Other Motivations

I do not understand others motivations nearly as well as my own. Perhaps that is an obvious, true-for-us-all fact. I often say that "money and control" are what most people want, and while that is a great way to simplify motivations, it's not the real motivation. No, what I'm talking about today is my goal-orientated, accomplishment nature versus less tangible motivations, like steady relationships, or even fear driven motivations.

For example, a runner on the cross country team I work with told me recently that he was afraid to push the pace hard in a race because he didn't want to fall apart at the end. I don't understand that very well. I go out too hard in many of my races, perhaps even most. Even in a $175 marathon I run too fast at the beginning when it most assuredly means I'm going to suffer the last four miles.

Another example, people are often afraid to bring up issues at work that they really want to. Call it lizard brain fear or whatever, but the point is there are things we are not even honest about with ourselves. Do we really prefer the dysfunctional and outwardly cordial relationship to the honest relationship?

What are your motivations that people don't understand?