Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Tying up loose ends

I am graduating in December. My advisor liked the draft of my thesis I gave him last week. However, I still have a few things here in New England I need to do before I leave. Sunday I accomplished one of those, I ran 21 miles to the nearest mountain and ran up to the top. It's the kind of thing you think about for a long time but requires a friend to pick you up because a 42 mile run is a little beyond me at this point.

That also means an ice climb on Mt. Washington and since Baxter State Park just changed the winter regulations I would like to get up there before I leave. It also means spending time with my friends before I leave because I have no idea when I will come back. I'm sure I will but I do not know when. I think that moving around and traveling so much when I was young has kind of made me a mover and shaker. Worcester has a lot to offer. I have so many great friends in New England. But at the same time I feel stale, and reminiscent (not a bad thing but not a great way to live). I run around Worcester alone thinking of the shenanigans we pulled and I smile. A gut wrenching smile because I know we will never have that day to day revelry that we did before. Well, actually I can think of a few situations where we might... But those are rare and probably unlikely. Unless someone wants to come out to Boulder with me and live poor while we start a company and run our legs off.

I try to live with no regrets. For the most part I do but there are things I have done and said that I regret. I am about to go from sophomore graduate student to freshman of real life. How many mistakes have I made? How many more will I suffer through? At what point will I look in to my friend's eye and know that the only future we have is a few emails a year and a Reach the Beach or alumni meet here and there?

On the other hand, who will I meet next month, or tomorrow, that will change my life?

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