Stumbled Up and Blown Down

I once again attacked my favorite mountain, Long Peak. This time I attacked it in the winter. Since all of my native Colorado climbing partners were busy I was fortunate enough to be joined by G my mountaineering partner from WPI. The plan was to ascend the north face. We brought ropes, a little gear, crampons and two ice axes/ice tools each.

We ate steak the night before in Loveland and drove up to the Long Peak Trailhead for a few hours of terrible sleep. It was great to catch up because G and I spent quite a few mountaineering Saturdays in New Hampshire going up and down the classic 5000 foot peaks. He also did a huge amount of work to get the ice axes manufactured. I would work with him again professionally any day and I would rope up with him any day as well.

before we went to sleep we agreed on a 1AM wake up time. At 1AM we agreed on a 2AM wake up time. At 2AM we started moving around, eating drinking, dressing, and by 3AM we were walking up the trail. We signed in at the register and started uphill. Within ten steps I was huffing and puffing. Going from 1000 feet to 9200 feet in 45 hours is a little quick. We slowed down and settled into a seemingly slow pace. However, we kept moving and soon enough were above treeline, well before the sun was up.

The wind was rather strong. Gusts were initially in the 30-40 mph range, which is not very challenging, but it gets your attention. Plus viewing the world with the light of a headlamp gives you a rather one dimensional view of the world. We kept moving and were continually losing the trail. I have hiked up and down that trail more than a dozen times, but in the snow and wind I felt like a total novice.

I tried to angle up toward the trail junction with Chasm Lake. However we never hit the trail junction on the way up. Under the assumption and feeling that we were moving like snails, and with at least one gust to about 60mph (the forecast said gusts to 80mph) we called it a day and started heading down.

As it happens we were nearly a mile farther up the trail that I thought. We were on the side of Mt. Lady Washington well above the trail junction. On the way down we ran into the trail that curves around to the gap and followed that down to the junction. We took a few minutes of a break there and this about describes the situation:

The Situation!

Okay, I can't torture you like that and leave you hanging so much. It wasn't as bad as Febuary 2006 on Mt. Adams with I. Windchill of -50F is so cold...

The Situation! With Less Drama. (By the way notice the nice boots!)

I took some video as well, which I will post when I have a little more time. I still have to go for a run and drive to Denver today. Anyway, the moral of the story is I have some amazing friends and going from 1000 feet to 12,200 feet or so in 48 hours is definitely possible with enough hydration and conditioning, but it is not recommended. Oh yes, I already knew that you can't walk in wind more than 50mph, but I'll repeat it for the benefit of others. 

A Cheese Basket

For over a decade I have wanted a cheese basket. It seems to me the epitome of something you give to someone who has everything. It means you made it. This Christmas my sister gave me one. In my haste to start the voyage to Colorado I left without it, disappointing my sister. So I'm driving across the country sulking about disappointing yet another of the people that matter most to me.

I do plan to drive back to Sheboygan to get it in a week or two. I'm not about to abandon that much good cheese.

The Intersection of Life and Business

Where does business and life intersect? What components of business are personal? How do you define something personal versus something that is public and and economic performance based? Why does business depend almost entirely on economic performance?

I ask these questions because I had to run an errand to the post office this past week during my typical work hours. Since I get paid by the hour, or at least because I am scared of screwing up my employment, It was probably the second time that I have left work in the middle of the day to do something. I felt like I was being a slacker or cheating the company. Time not spent working is time not spent getting paid. One of the things I have been frustrated with since being employed is running errands. Going to places like the DMV, insurance agency, doctor, dentist, post office, mechanic, and other business hours businesses is frustrating because between work and coaching I am busy 7AM to 6PM most days. Fortunately, the Hy-Vee grocery stores in town are open late, even 24 hours I believe. It is frustrating because the industries that I feel are service industries do not really seem to service at the hours that are convenient for me. I know that is being selfish but if they want my business hours that are convenient for me will get my business. The grocery stores and restaurants have figured it out, and they get lots of my money.

Changing subjects somewhat, business can be harsh. Life can be harsh as well, but business seems to value profitability in a monetary sense in a way that life does not value economic profitability. For example, life (in my world) is about relationships. For me to develop and grow a relationship sometimes I have to put in time and money that will not be reciprocated. However, the value of that relationship to me is worth the one way effort that I put in. In business, if you are not profitable, you lose. In life if you never get out what you put in you typically still have a huge value. Those emotionally draining relationships that we have still have value in a way that an unprofitable business does not.

A doctor that fixes a burst appendix and does not get paid would be an example of a draining relationship, but one that has significant value. Realistically the doctor could ask for 5% of that person's earning for the rest of his or her life and it would still be worth it to the patient because he or she did not die. That would be maximizing the economic profitability.

I also see in my older colleagues the intersection of family, specifically dependents, and work. That is a whole other can of worms. Fortunately, my life happens slow enough that I have time to adjust to life changes and come up with philosophical explanations for how I spend my time. Right now, spending time doing what I am doing seems the best use of my time, but I foresee that changing in the future. While I plan to run until I am 90, it will certainly not always be the same as I do now. I did not have more than one day of vacation at a time this year, but again I see that changing dramatically as I age. While I don't plan to retire in the formally accepted manner how will I juggle my time with my family and friends and business as I age? When the conscious decision not to retire in the traditional sense is made it changes the entire picture of life, work, and money. Instead of valuing the free time when I am in my 60s, 70s and 80s more than the free time I have now it liberates me from the burden of saving for a currently intangible delayed life plan and allows me to pursue life now. It also places a huge burden of possible unexpected long term unemployment upon me, so I end up saving a lot of money anyway.

I don't have many answers, but at least by asking the questions we can refine our priorities.

Review of Training to Run CIM in 2:30

Buildup to CIM

Well, the immediate pain of running a marathon has subsided, I've started running again so it is time to review the work I put in. Let us discuss what went well, went went poorly, and what to improve upon next time.

First, an overview: I tried to follow a Renato Canova schedule by doing as much running from + to - 10% of marathon pace as I could handle. I also tried to get in a lot of mileage, much of it ended up being slower than 8 minute pace. I also did some short hill sprints, strides and some faster pace stuff to keep my legs fresh. I place a huge importance on recovery eating and nutrition as well.

Second, long runs: My 20+ mile runs came in at 23.5, 22, 22, 22, 21, 20, and 20 miles. That's eight runs 20 miles or longer. One twenty miler in 1:59, the 23.5 miler in 2:24 with the last 11 in 1:03 and pace variation, and a 21 miler in 2:10. Those are my three best long runs ever. I tried a Bill Squires technique, which is focus on the long run and involve some pace variation particularly during the end of the run. Bill would give the team moderate workouts during the week then put everything they did during the week into the long run. It's a genius technique, and I ran several 5:2Xs and a bunch of 5:3Xs more than 15 miles into my long runs. I'll be doing that again. Also, after a 5:2X or 5:3X mile I would often back off and run 5:4X or 5:5X, which is still rather fast, but feels slow after a faster mile. In short, my long runs went extremely well.

Third, long tempos: My 9+ mile tempos were: 14, 14, 12 and a half marathon race. The two 14 mile tempos were on the same day during my special block. Aside from that workout I totally failed to do an adequate volume of tempos this cycle. I did incorporate tempo training into my long runs, which I think is very effective, but there was still a lack of 9-18 mile tempos at or slower than marathon pace in my training. I would ideally like to get in a 12-18 mile tempo every week at about 90% of marathon pace. Failing to do these workouts contributed to hitting the wall my last five miles because I was not burning enough fat during the entire race.

Fourth, short tempos: I had a 20:12 for 6k, 27:40 for 8k, 38:47 for 11.2k, 21:27 for 6.4k, and 37:40 for 10.8k. There were several other tempos of similar distances with paces 5:40+. Those tempos were quite good for me because I had never run 5:24 pace for four miles in a workout before. In the area of 4mmol lactate threshold or anaerobic threshold I did the best I have ever done, which is lacking. A good 6k-8k tempo at that pace every ten days is what it takes, about two every three weeks. A 20 minute tempo is the best workout there is in my opinion, and I didn't do enough of them. I would like to do about twice as many during my next marathon cycle.

Fifth, mileage: I had nine weeks at 100 or more miles with the two highest at 140 and 116. I also had eight weeks between 60 and 99 miles. The 140 mile week destroyed me. I only ran 64 miles and took a day off the next week. While I was running it I was fine, but I crashed after it was over. Overall I am satisfied with my mileage, but I would have liked to do more in October and November (which is another topic). I did have quite a few good medium long runs (14-18 miles), but none at a tempo pace. I greatly enjoy my slow miles and the extra efficiency they give me. It is hard to say what I will change in the future. Perhaps alternating 120 and 100 mile weeks instead of trying for 140. Given that I will be stronger next time it is hard to say now. This is one area I really listen to my body. I feel that I rested better this cycle than I ever have before by taking easy days when I needed them and running miles slow when I was tired. Overall, a step in the right direction.

Sixth, intervals: a 5mi. fartlek with 2min on 1min off the on around 5:15 pace, 4x1600m in 5:07-5:09 with 400m rest in 1:45, a 4:49 1600m with 2x800 in about 2:28 each, and a huge like eight mile fartlek at 1, 2, 3, 4, 4, 3, 2, 1 with rest equal to the previous hard running. Again I pushed what I have done in the past by setting a mile practice PR (1600m 4:49) and an amazing 4x1600m workout that was very consistent. Again I would like to do more workouts on the track of this quality like the short tempos, but I was training for a marathon so this is a lower priority.

Seventh, muscular power: I did three short hill sprints and eight stride sessions and not much in the weight room at all, I would like to more like eight and twelve. There is no reason for me to skip these any week. I should be doing a set of short hills and strides every week, or at least three times each every four weeks. Still it was better than not doing them. Overall, not enough, but what I did went well.

Eighth, nutrition: I did the best job of recovery eating this cycle that I have ever had. I ate soon after almost every workout. I ate quality vegetables and pasta and protein. I probably ate better the last six months than I ever have before. In a way that is unfortunate because while I am skinny for an American I am fat for a marathoner. Due to a friend's eating disorder I long ago set a 120 pound minimum weight limit on myself but I have not been under 126 since then. In other words, I did well but there is room for improvement.

Ninth, racing: I set personal records at just about every race distance I ran. It is hard to complain about that. I think my half marathon came at a good time although a few weeks later or earlier or both might have been better. In the future I would like to do more long races in a build up like 2-3 15k+ distance races.

Tenth, cross training: I rode my bicycles a little under 2000 miles this summer. That is over 100 hours on the bike with most of that in June and July. I think bicycling was a great addition to my training. It helped me develop my aerobic capability and fat metabolism. The routine I had this summer of an hour run followed by an hour bike ride was great and I intend to do it again. However, the amount of time spent on the bike to get the same work out of it as a run makes it impractical during peak running mileage.

Those are the main point of my training. In summary, it was my best cycle of training ever, but there are inconsistencies that I desire to correct the next time I train for a marathon. It was great, it was good, I am blessed, but I want to do better next time.

I'm Hungry.

I was listening to the impact of poverty on children on Talk of the Nation on NPR and had some thoughts. I was on free lunches while I lived in St Louis and reduced price lunches throughout elementary and into middle school. I suppose that means I lived in poverty. I never felt like I lived in poverty because I had plenty of toys and we always had food and the heat always worked at home and we had a home!

As 2011 draws to a close I am realizing that this year when I file taxes it will be the first year that I get paid more than minimum wage for the entire year. I suppose I have been poor my whole life. Even as I write that I cannot actually believe it. Wealth is about so much more than income.

For example, my family always had a place to live but my parents did not own a home from the time I was five until I was 20. We lived in apartments and houses lent to us by my dad's employer. I consider having a house, apartment, or place to live wealth. The same goes for vehicles. My parents have bought only one new car in my 25.5 years, but numerous cars over ten years old. Having one or more vehicles counts as wealth to me. Even though I currently drive an 18 year old van with 277,000 miles, I consider that a luxury item.

I am continually thinking about motivation. How does one get it? Where does it come from? What events lead to increased motivation? What things will decrease motivation? Why do I pound out ten or more hours of running per week? What am I trying to prove? Why do I care about getting the best answer to an engineering problem at work and not just an acceptable answer? Why do I model things with solid (3D) elements when others use only shell (2D) elements? Why did I go to college at WPI in Massachusetts? Why did I get a master's degree?

I finished Steve Job's biography by Walter Isaacson on Saturday. What was Steve's motivation? It seems making the best possible user experience, but that is not 100% clear. I will write a review of the book in the coming weeks.

Motivation is something that is cultivated and grown, but exists within. Can one person give another person the seed of motivation? That is one tough question. If the answer is yes then I give credit to my parents for the roots of my motivation. My family vacationed to Colorado when I was young and we camped, had fires and cooked, and my dad told stories of hiking mountains like Longs Peak. I think that those little trips were the seeds of my mountaineering motivation. It was developed along the way by four summers at Philmont, and numerous hikes and climbing in Rocky Mountain National Park and the 14ers around Leadville. Yet it started with a hike to Emerald Lake and a drive to the continental divide ranger station in RMNP. My other motivations have roots with my parents. When I was six or seven I out sprinted my dad in our back yard. He might have let me win but I decided that I should not be able beat him and I did not want others to beat me unless they were actually faster. However, had he beat me would I have gotten discouraged and chose not to pursue running? Probably... My parents are geniuses. I hope I can do half as well with my kids as they did with my sister and I.

I feel that my motivation wanes when I have more luxury in life. Nice things, which I really like, give me the feeling of being complacent. (I'm struggling to come up with an example. I've been sitting here for at least 10 minutes without writing a sentence.)

I quit acting when I went to college. I did five musicals, four plays, and a slew of speech and drama routines at competitions in high school. The highlight was my senior year when my duet with Dana May Salah was amazing. We cleaned up at just about every meet. We were getting first and second at almost every meet we went to. That was after three years of struggling to make it to finals at local speech and drama competitions. At state that year we expected to cruise through semifinals and compete for the win, but judges rated us terribly. Our second round was the best performance of the year. It was the best acting I ever did. When we calmly walked out of the room we were seriously jumping up and down because we just had the most amazing performance of the year! The judge gave us a ranking of five, with one being the best and ten the worst. Unbelievable. We didn't even make it to semifinals. I did do improvised duet acting also at that state meet and my partner and I got 8th at state with a really really tough draw in the semifinal round. The point being, my motivation for acting left after that state meet. People in my home town thought I was going to go into acting, and were surprised that I cared so much more about engineering. Some were even disappointed.

I had no success in competition acting for two and a half years then I had success at the end of my junior year and lots of success my senior year. I was loaded with motivation at the state meet my senior year. After the rejection I feel I felt acting was a search for acceptance and popularity. I felt that hard work did not necessarily pay off. Success or failure was determined by the whim of another person. In engineering and running and mountaineering and relationships the return on investment seems far more direct. If I train hard in running, I run faster races. If I study more material in engineering, I will have a better grasp of the phenomena. If I climb more I will be able to climb more. If I spend more time with a person we will have a stronger relationship (if we can work past the fact that I am a self centered egomaniac). In the words of my high school running coach, "You get what you get."

Another aspect of my attitude is that I compare myself to the best in the world. Watching the movie Inside Job one person commented that investment banking became a contest. 50 Billion dollar deals were not enough it had to be 100 billion. Unfortunately, I feel that way sometimes. So and so runs a 2:14 marathon, so I want to see if I can do it. So and so climbed Everest without oxygen, and I'm a way better runner than he is so I must be able to do it. So and so started a company that revolutionized the industry, and I'm a far better engineer than he is and more personable too. These thoughts filter down to the way that I live. Why don't I get rid of my van and buy a Mini Cooper like I have wanted for a decade? Because I would rather drive a Prosche 911 Turbo. Why don't I buy a nice bed and some more furniture and a huge TV? Because I would rather buy land and have a house. Why did I go to Pakistan and try an 8000 meter peak instead of trying Denali or Aconcagua first? Because it's bigger and bigger equals better right?

I am clearly delusional. I am obviously crazy. I have accepted those opinions as facts. I fear that these ideas in my head hamper my ability to have a committed romantic relationship. Or any relationship really. On the other hand my focus is very long term. I've been thinking about Mt. Everest for eight years, now it's just the funding. I do know that these expectations and desires set me up for disappointment. March 2010 was a really rough month. Fortunately, I am enough of a normal person to take joy in how far I have come. When I defended my masters thesis I was incredibly happy! After so much time and work, I had something to show. It was the most fulfilling formal educational experience I have had. There were so many times I thought about quitting. When I ran a 4:38 mile at Smith college my senior year of college I was ecstatic! While I planned and still do plan to be able to run under 4:20 in the mile some day, actually getting under 4:40 was amazing because part of me never thought it would happen. It is the same with my engineering. I solve problems and make products last longer, and in 2010, I was not sure I would ever have that chance. I'm a useful addition. I'm part of something. I am economically productive. It is very rewarding.

I still have a lot to do in life. I have a number of "delusions" to chase. However, if this afternoon I end up unable to walk, talk, see, and work for the next 50 years of my life I have enjoyed more success than any one person ever deserves. It is the dichotomy of performance.  The new best performance is not enough, yet it is infinitely more than is deserved. I am so blessed!

I Live in Iowa: Week 35

Another week living the life. Every time I say that I have some fear that I am actually at the top of my game and it is all downhill from here. My article tomorrow is all about goals, expectations, and satisfaction. Come back again tomorrow please!

I had a very nice week at work. I worked 47 hours, my second most hours engineering. Industry involves far fewer hours than college. At WPI I had very few weeks with less than 50 hours. On Friday I had a breakthrough. I was writing a report trying to correct a number of failed strain gages from a stress test and there were a few failed gages we didn't even try to solve, and I despise giving up so easily. As I was staring at this area with bent plates and welds I suddenly realized that the bends in the plates and the welds were in the wrong locations. The bends were in the areas that did not have much strain and the welds were in area with a large amount of strain. It was backwards! That is easily one of the best ideas I have had at work. It is not patentable or anything, but it is possibly an industry changing design. So we shall see if anything comes of it in the next few years (big businesses don't move too fast).

There was no coaching this week because UD was out for Christmas.

I ran nine miles. I started running again Friday and I was in a great mood all day. It was funny, at my weekly one-on-one with my supervisor he said, "Today is one of those days I don't want to be here, and you know why? I haven't been exercising." I was totally the opposite, my first time running in 11 days and I was in a great mood. Exercising makes a difference.

I finished reading Steve Jobs by Walter Isaacson. Steve was crazy. I'll elaborate on that in the coming weeks.

Friday night my department went bowling and I convinced a few of my coworkers and friends to try the Voodoo Pizza with me. It has the ghost pepper, the hottest in the world. You can't tell me something is the "...est" in the world and not expect me to go for it. I only ate four bites. My friend on the right of the picture ate his whole piece before I even got to my second bite. Many tears were shed...

The Voodoo Pizza Challenge

How Do I Find a Gift?

I have always struggled with gifts, and most of family has as well. I have often bought someone something that I wanted. Example: I bought YakTrax for my parents last year because they are getting old and slip and fall on the ice. My sister bought them for me. I think I used them more before January last year than my parents did all winter. However, I must mention one of my parents slipped and fell on the ice while shoveling the driveway without wearing YakTrax. I was there later to say, "I told you so."

The problem is we do not know each other well enough to really know what the other person wants. We just use the easy way out and ask. Additionally, I know what some people do want, or would greatly appreciate but it is beyond my budget this year. So coming up with a creative useful wanted gift within my budget without asking is as tough a problem as I know. I also struggle because nothing physical that I have does anyone else I know want. Seriously. Except for my new bicycle, but they would all probably rather have the money than the actual bicycle. Who wants a seven and a half year old computer? Who wants a 25 inch tube TV? Who wants a sagging couch? Since I live this way I find it hard to justify spending money buying something that will not enrich anyone's life. A bigger flatter TV, another screen to stare at, anything for cooking or cleaning, anything ornamental, these seem like gifts of excess or gifts that imply something. I want to give gifts that say thank you.

Leave some suggestions below please. Thank you for reading!