Sunday, March 8, 2020

Speaking a Love Language

Yesterday, I had a realization. A, R and I were driving back from Arapahoe Basin and discussing love languages and R mentioned a scenario that I had not thought of, but resonated with me.  I realized that instead of a binary wanted action or unwanted action, it's more of a four choice system.
Speaking Someone's Love Language
It's not just feeling loved or neglected, it's also feeling heard or ignored. In other words, relationships require even more communication.

My main love language is acts of service, which I've been thinking about a lot lately, mostly in regards to work. Anyway, an act of service was recently done for me and while it needed to be done, and I had no plans to do it, it's actually stressed me out a lot because I don't have all the answers to wrap it up and really finish it. This it outside of work by the way. In other words, it was the right language for me, but it was something I am not ready to deal with, even if it's only 30 minutes of work, it's a hassle. Feeling ignored might not be the best word, but it's close to how I feel.

Another personal example, words of affirmation and gifts are so low on my desired languages that honestly just don't spend your time on those if you want to show me you care. Those are things I don't want, and by not spending your time on those things I feel heard.

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