My Heart Breaks for Women

I realize that articulating this article will probably set my dating life back another two years because I’m not being manly enough. Yet I want to say it. Because I look around and none, none, of the males in my life are saying this. I’ve never sexually assaulted a woman. I’ve never even sexually harassed a woman verbally or emotionally as far as I know. It’s not right to sexually harass women. It’s not acceptable. I chased after my little sister with a sharp object once in middle school, and the look of fear on her face is something that sticks with me. I never want to see that reaction in another person the rest of my life. Maybe because of my small size and quiet shy nature I empathize with women a little more than most men. I understand what it feels like to be physically afraid of a 250 pound man. 

Christine Blasey Ford testified before the senate judiciary committee on Thursday about an event that happened around 30 years ago. Sometimes I think about running for political office, and what demons could come up in my past. There is the drinking and driving incident. I didn’t get pulled over, but to this day, on the day I had the most alcohol to drink in my life, during the 2008-2009 school year, and I drove my friends and I home. It was unequivocally wrong, and had I been pulled over by the police I would have 100% deserved a DUI citation. Google could release all of my search history, which frankly I don’t want to relive, especially in front of others. My sister could testify. I’ve been so blunt with her over the years about my thoughts I’m happy she still talks to me! I am definitely a sinner.

Thursday, I went on a date. It lasted an hour, we each had a glass of wine at a little wine bar in Denver. I was thrilled to be spending time in a wine bar, in Denver, and on a date with an attractive woman. I mean… I was in a wine bar! An attractive woman was there to talk to me! It was only 45 minutes from my apartment! For me, there was a lot of upside and very little down side. If it didn’t work out I was out $25, but I would gladly spend way more than that on a date. The thing is, there is a lot of potential downside for women. She could be raped. She could be verbally assaulted. She could be emotionally manipulated. (I certainly could be too, but I don’t think women think that way early in a relationship, only later when her needs aren’t being met and other methods of communication aren't working, which in large part still faults the man.) When men are rejected we often resort to verbal or other abuse. A woman can’t just say, “No I’m not interested in you.” without the possibility of a strong emotional and possibly violent reaction. The risks for a woman to meet a man, a stranger, are much higher for a woman than a man to meet a strange woman. I’ve never been sexually assaulted. No woman has verbally assaulted me because I didn’t want to have sex with her, yet many women have been yelled at for refusing male advances.

I’m not sure… okay honestly, I don’t think we’ll ever get to 100% equality between men and women in every realm of life. The reason being, men and woman are different. Women can have a baby, men can’t. As has been established, separate but equal does not exist, and so I think, here in September 2018, that different but equal can not exist either. That being said, the differences only seem to apply in a small area of life, relationships and procreation. It is entirely possible that 50% of engineers are women. Although, I think it’s more likely that America follows in Germany’s footsteps by fewer women being engineers and more being lawyers (and politicians). As an engineer, with a sister who is an engineer, I would love to see more women in engineering, but I’m not holding my breath that it will be 50/50 in 2019, or 2029.

To make a long story shorter, my heart breaks for women. They have to deal with men in a way that I just don’t have to, and it can be threatening at times.