Sunday, September 25, 2016

Is it ending?

Is my blogging ending? With only three posts in September, and no recent weekly updates you have to wonder. Well, I don't know.

Over the last seven years I've endeavored to share the ups and the downs. The problem is, as the ups get higher, there end up being a lot of downs. After climbing Mt. Everest, this really big thing, even using bottled oxygen, it's hard to adjust to a normal life again. This summer... trying to do something in the world of ultra running... I know where I've been in terms of physical fitness, and when I'm pretty far away from that it's hard to accept, or take joy in.

There is a saying, "if you don't have anything good to say, don't say anything." At the end of the day, after work and running and making supper, I'll be honest, there have not been a lot of positive thoughts going through my head this summer. It's hard moving to a new place and figuring out my routine. It's hard taking a new job and understanding exactly where my responsibilities are or where I provide the most benefit. It's hard not being in great shape with an important race looming. It's hard adjusting to hot and humid weather. It's hard having a broken hand, and now a somewhat shortened third metacarpal on my left hand that leaves me fearing I will have permanent problems, specifically rock climbing, from breaking it.

So I spend a few sentences venting, and where does it get me? Nowhere. The things I whine about are insignificant to the real struggles of the world. I mean, this is our presidential election this year! 31 Lies in one week?! Best part is destroying phones with hammers...

So who knows?

Sunday, September 18, 2016

I need a rest. I need a break.

If there is something I learned this weekend, it is that I am tired from the last six months. Right about mile 87, 14 hours into the race, as I was struggling there, running with a broken hand, I'm thinking that maybe I pushed myself too hard and this what I get. Of course in the same moment I'm also berating myself for being weak and trying to channel my inner "beyond running" (which is a Yiannis Kouros quote).

One of the inserting things about bones is they will steal calcium from other bones if needed. It has scared me for years how Bill Rogers broke his leg going from the asphalt to the grass, perhaps a small vertical step. Which kind of scared me when I broke my hand, falling off the bike at three miles an hour?!

I don't know how our bodies distribute minerals. I know that our body prioritizes oxygen at altitude to our brains, heart and lungs with our fingers and toes being last on the list. I assume that just about everything in our body is prioritized, from the oxygen to the calcium to the water. It's quite interesting, and because I don't understand it I probably don't learn as much from my injuries and set backs as I should.

As I started running this summer I found I was weaker than I expected, Everest took something out of me, including up to 10 pounds. And perhaps racing 50 miles the day before I flew out to Nepal wasn't the best idea.

With the weather clearing on Nolan's 14 this summer I called it quits because I was tired.

Struggling desperately on a 5.9 at 13,000 feet with a backpack, I again called it quits because I wasn't up to task.

Because I wasn't feeling excited by my training I did a triathlon. What could possibly go wrong?

So when the wheels started to come off in the second half of the 24 hour run this weekend, it really should not have been a surprise.

The point is, I've been asking a lot from my body for a long time and I sit here with sore legs, chaffed everything, and a broken hand. I need a break. I need to really truly recover and build up those mineral stores in my body, or I am bound to repeat the same mistakes.

Thursday, September 1, 2016

Trust: A Bullet "Proof" Vest

Trust is like a bullet proof vest. It's expensive, it takes a long time to build and if you don't build it well it won't be nearly as strong as you thought it was. A bullet proof vest is big, like a whole organization.

In this metaphor a bullet is poor morals, untrustworthy, the cheap and short-cut path. A bullet is small, reckless and destructive, not just to itself.

The challenge is building the right bullet proof vest for the bullet that comes your way, because there is always a big enough projectile (an Enron sized scandal) that could take you down.

Point being: trust isn't a given, it's developed day after day after day so that when the [Takata airbag or VW emissions] mistake comes you don't go the way of Enron.